Friday, April 30, 2010

Love & Loss (Part 30)

Her mother handed me a note, it was a poem actually written by Vicki. Her poem talked about living your life, loving all you can despite any losses. Sometimes risking losses makes love all that more rewarding. An additional note at the end of the poem was an encouragement to keep going, and to never give up on life, or love. It was only later I learned that note was meant for me alone, but I read it out loud.

I finished my reading and sat down. Vicki's words stirred me, all thoughts of giving up eased away. She wanted me to continue; to live with no regrets. I talked to many that day, including Darryl and his wife Katy. I also met some of Vicki's friends. I spoke to one who told me Vicki would always mention me when she visited her. Turns out Vicki knew several friends who worked in the fashion industry in France.

I was talking with Josephine when she mentioned she spoke perfect French. I asked if she would translate the phrase, 'Tu es mon amour. Je suis désolé.' She said it was almost a contradiction, but translated it wondering what it meant. I told her it was something I heard in a movie once and was always curious what it meant. When she asked what movie it was from, I excused myself. I went to talk with Kenny and Laura.

I was one of the last people to leave. It was hard saying goodbye to Vicki despite how long it had been since I'd seen her last. Sitting in my hotel room I once again opened the diary of Jenni's. I looked once more to the final entry, 'Tu es mon amour. Je suis désolé.' - 'I love you, I'm sorry'. Both women left my life, yet in an odd way left a message to keep me going. To never give up.

Now you know why Im in Walla Walla. I know I can continue. Despite all potential loss, any love gained will be worth it. I've decided I'm not booking a flight back to Milwaukee but to France. Who knows, maybe that's where Jenni disappeared to. Maybe she was sending me a message. What will I find? Love or Loss? That's what makes life worth living, finding out. Perhaps some day I will tell you what I find out. But that is another story.

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