Sunday, September 26, 2004

Weight Wait

R.a.n.t. of week 09/26/04
This week I've got a rant probably everyone can relate to: Weight Loss. Exactly what is the hardest part of weight loss? I've found, it's the wait. If you've ever tried to lose any amount of weight, you know exactly what I mean. For me, I woke up one day and realized I had to lose weight. Not exactly sure how this ever escaped my notice, but I was suddenly VERY aware of my problem. As I was also aware no one would EVER be interested in me in my present condition (another r.a.n.t. for another time), I was determined to lose as much weight as I could. The difficulty? Was it cutting down on my portion sizes? No. Cutting out greasy foods like French Fries? Nope. Drinking water over soda? Very doable; and I enjoy water. How about exercising and keeping active – slightly harder, but I am working on it. Waiting for the pounds to melt off? Extremely hard! There is nothing harder than to wait for results that can take days or even weeks. How about waiting for someone else to take notice? Just as hard. I think a lyric from the song "The Waiting", best describes how I feel..
♫The waiting is the hardest part♪.
I realize Tom Petty was not singing about weight control, but the point is well taken.
Reprinted 12/20/12






*PLEASE NOTE - I recently found old R.a.n.t. articles posted to a website I once owned. I've decided to reprint them in my current run. However, ironically enough, I'm not to fond of the writing so I've decided to edit the articles and repost them. For comparisons sake, I've decided to run the edited version as well as the original. In a way, it's kind of fun to see how my writing has changed in eight years.

Original R.a.n.t.
Perhaps a rant for the week that everyone can relate to. Never before have two words in the English language been so related, and yet not related at the same time. What I mean is the wait, to lose weight. Anyone that has tried to lose weight knows what I mean. Sometimes it just seems that you wake up one day and notice you need to loose a few pounds. Suddenly you are working as hard as you possibly can to lose the weight, but it seems to take forever. Even if you find a diet that works for you, the hardest part is the wait. Cutting down on my portion size I can handle; cutting out greasy food like French Fries is not that hard; drinking water over soda – doable; exercising and keeping active – slightly harder, but working on it. Waiting for the pounds to actually come off? Being able to chart how well you are actually doing on a day-to-day basis? Extremely hard! Even though the past couple of weeks I’ve noticed a loss of 30-40 pounds, it’s still hard to wait and see how you will look when you’re finally done. I recall that song, “The Waiting”; ‘The waiting is the hardest part, You take it on faith, you take it to the heart, The waiting is the hardest part.’ Somehow I doubt he was singing about weight control, but the point is well taken.

Sunday, September 19, 2004

Indecisive

R.a.n.t. of week 09/19/04
Life is filled with many choices. My morning usually starts with, 'Do I get out of bed or hit the snooze alarm'? Most decisions in life are easy to make; 'Do I take my glasses off before falling asleep'? - Easy, the answer is yes. But every so often, we are presented with a few choices more difficult. 'Where should we go for dinner?', 'What sort of graduation present should we get?', 'Should I pay rent or fix my car?' It's easy enough to be indecisive on your own, but when you have someone else helping you to be indecisive, it's no fun. Take my ex-wife.... please. Back when I was married, I'd do my best to be decisive. So I'd make a decision when suddenly she threw out a case for the other alternative. Trying to put my psychology classes to use, I assumed she was more in favour of the other option. So, I'd deftly alter my decision to fit her need. Then suddenly there would be a counter point made for my original decision. At this point I was now totally confused and unable to make a decision. To which I'd always get the standard reply, "Why can't you ever just make up your mind?". That always frustrated me so much I wanted to either scream or throw something. I never could decide which I wanted to do.
Reprinted 12/13/12






*PLEASE NOTE - I recently found old R.a.n.t. articles posted to a website I once owned. I've decided to reprint them in my current run. However, ironically enough, I'm not to fond of the writing so I've decided to edit the articles and repost them. For comparisons sake, I've decided to run the edited version as well as the original. In a way, it's kind of fun to see how my writing has changed in eight years.

Original R.a.n.t.
One of the things that I’m really having a hard time with lately is being indecisive. Two options are presented to you and you don’t know which one to take. Or you have a situation going on and you have no idea how to handle it. It seems to get worse the more serious the situation is. And the answer is never just something quick or cut and dry, it usually involved many various factors, each having a degree of negativity to it. But, instead of just getting full blown into my own personal problems there is another aspect of being indecisive that drives me nuts as well. It’s when someone offers you a choice and you make your choice. Then suddenly they make a claim for the other option. “But if you do this, then we can do that.” So, being the true diplomat and a semi-psychologist you realize they would rather do the second option, so you change your mind. Not wanting it to end so easily another option is then presented or a claim for the first option is given as well. “If we do this though, we can have that.” So you try to read them and make a switch once again. “Well, which do you want? A or B?” Of course now you are confused and have to honestly answer that you have no idea what you want to do. “You are so indecisive, why can’t you just make up your mind?” You can just start to feel your brain melt when you remember that originally you did make a decision. I don’t know, maybe I’m just reading to much into this, either that or I’m just not getting it. I’m not sure which is correct.

Sunday, September 12, 2004

Striving After the Wind

R.a.n.t. of week 09/12/04
Ever have one of those days where nothing is going right? As the day goes on, the stress continues to build? Problems with health, home, family and job continue to mount? Suddenly the stress is so great you feel you are on the edge of a nervous break down? Now imagine you are not dealing with this stress, but someone you know and love is. How do you comfort them? Even if you have dealt with the exact same thing in the past, you feel like an idiot telling them, "I know how you feel". So it makes matters even worse when you don't have any idea how they feel. How do you console someone then? Many times, I'm at a loss for words. I never know what to say, and anything I wish to say feels like it's an insensitive platitude. My ex-wife was the hardest person to console. Any time she felt stressed or depressed, there was never anything I could say or do that would be right. Her responses were "Whatever", "How would you know," or "Yea, Right". I felt I was always sincere, and I still believe I was trying as hard as I could to be sincere. Not being appreciated and even accused for trying to care made me feel a little like I was striving after the wind. To some degree, it reminded me of this poem:

I saw a man pursuing the horizon;
Round and round they sped.
I was disturbed at this;
I accosted the man.
"It is futile," I said,
"You can never -"

"You lie," he cried,
And ran on."

- Stephen Crane

Unfortunately, the more I was attacked for trying to be caring, made me care less. Each jab or accusation thrown my way made me less and less sincere, In time I became jaded. It was then I began to hate myself more and more. I was supposed to be the comforter, I was supposed to be the moral support, the backbone, the pillar. I was becoming nothing. I hated what I had become. You might think I blamed my ex-wife, but I didn't. I realized I only had myself to blame. It wasn't my wife I hated, I hated what I became, because of my wife.
Reprinted 11/29/12





*PLEASE NOTE - I recently found old R.a.n.t. articles posted to a website I once owned. I've decided to reprint them in my current run. However, ironically enough, I'm not to fond of the writing so I've decided to edit the articles and repost them. For comparisons sake, I've decided to run the edited version as well as the original. In a way, it's kind of fun to see how my writing has changed in eight years.

Original R.a.n.t.
Ever get to that point in your life where you start to feel like everything you do is for nothing? Every attempt to entertain, enlighten, help or satisfy someone feels like a feeble attempt? Or worse, seems to make matters worse? No matter how hard you try, you fail? There have been many times that I’ve felt just like that. There has been a time in my life when I just wanted to give up. I can proudly say that I don’t have those feelings anymore. I’ve learned that sometimes you can’t please everyone, sometimes when you work at something; you have to work at it for yourself. Take my website for example. I’m not saying I feel it’s not entertaining anyone, I just think that even if no one visited it, or cared about what happened to it, I know that I would care. Every day I update a photo or update a new page, I try to work on it so that I will be proud of it, regardless if anyone happens to check it for the day. To some degree, I remind myself of the man in the poem by Stephen Crane: "I saw a man pursuing the horizon; Round and round they sped. I was disturbed at this; I accosted the man. "It is futile," I said, "You can never -" "You lie," he cried, And ran on." I’ve taken on that attitude to some degree. Don’t tell me what I’m doing is futile. If I felt it was futile I wouldn’t do it. Try taking that attitude next time someone tries to knock you down a level or two.

Sunday, September 5, 2004

Secret Origins of the Blog

R.a.n.t. of week 09/05/04
Why I began my blog.
Ever have something important, interesting or exciting to share but can't find anyone to talk to? This has happened to me so many times it's not funny. Try as I might, no one is available. I'll usually leave a number of voice messages or emails and then have to play the waiting game. No, I'm not ranting about people not replying this time, (I already did that one HERE), just the lack of finding anyone to talk to. The crickets chirping is annoying because in my delusional mind I worry where they might be. Are they sick, injured or being held hostage? So what is a guy to do? I have something important, interesting or exciting to tell people, but no one to talk to. Who's going to listen to me rant? Oh wait! That's it. I'll write a blog post about it. I can share it on-line and EVERYONE can listen to me rant.
Reprinted 11/27/12





*PLEASE NOTE - I recently found old R.a.n.t. articles posted to a website I once owned. I've decided to reprint them in my current run. However, ironically enough, I'm not to fond of the writing so I've decided to edit the articles and repost them. For comparisons sake, I've decided to run the edited version as well as the original. In a way, it's kind of fun to see how my writing has changed in eight years.

Original R.a.n.t.
No One To Talk To
Before I begin my rant I just wanted to say thank you all for the week off from rant. I felt kind of fooling to post a rant on Wednesday when Monday is when I am supposed to post it, and since I was on vacation I decided to take vacation from rant. So no, I have not forgotten or given up on ranting. How could I? It's too much fun. I hate when I get into my moods when I need someone to talk to, and no one is available. Either they are off doing something of their own, taking care of their kids and family or just not online. Granted, I probably spend to much time online, but I enjoy chatting on the phone as well. Still, when I have a problem and all of my friends are doing other stuff it drives me crazy. Sometimes I end up just giving up and try to give a day or so to see if they respond to me emails phone messages or yahoo chats, when they don’t I get depressed and somewhat paranoid. I don’t know, it’s just the way I am. And I hate the feeling that I’m bugging or bothering someone. I keep saying in my head, “If they wanted to or were able to talk to me, they would have called or left me a message.” I guess that’s enough for now, I’m gonna check my email for the second time this morning.