Sunday, September 29, 2013

Top Secret R.A.N.T.

R.a.n.t. of week 09/29/13
This weekend I was dealing with a lot of stress. But that's my life lately. Some of the things I've been dealing with are pretty personal, so personal, I'm not sure I want to share it all on an open blog. So today I'm trying something a little different. I'm writing a very personal blog entry, including a LOT of details about what and why I've been so depressed and why I feel selfish and moronic at the same time. The catch is, you'll have to sign in to access this file. The personal r.a.n.t. can be reached at this web link: Secret File

Now the trick is, I want to use a password that's not difficult for anyone to remember that would like to check it out. My very first password was something like '1234'. I'll give that a try for this special page.

Error: Password must be a minimum of 8 characters.

I also happened to notice it threw in this additional note: Maximum of 20 characters.
I suppose this is to prevent people from using: thisismysecretpassword
Now I have to think of another password for my secret file since I can't use 1234 or thisismysecretpassword
Let's try: 1234 password

Error: Cannot contain spaces

Okay, I'll correct it. How about: 1234password

Error: Cannot start with a number.

Really, starting to get upset here! Try this! LOL: passwordssuck

Error: No more than 4 of the same character.

Blimey! It doesn't like me using 4 S's in the password. Starting to think the program is messing with me. I'll just use the previous one I used for this special page: password

Error: Cannot reuse the past 10 passwords.

Fine! Whatever, something everyone will remember. The password will be the same as the login, my blog name: jeffreyascott

Error: Must not contain the user name.

Usually passwords are case sensitive, so I'll just use the same password, but in all caps. hehe, that'll beat the system: PASSWORD

Error: Must contain at least one upper case and one lower case.

This is really getting ridiculous. How about: Password

Error: Must contain at least one numerical character.

For the love of blog! Really? Replace the 'o' (oh) with a '0' (zero): Passw0rd

Error: Must contain at least one non-alpha numeric character (special characters (!@#$%^&)

You mean like: Passw0rd!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Error: Maximum of 20 characters.
Error: No more than 4 of the same character.

Please note: NEVER write your password down. NEVER use a password someone else would guess. NEVER reuse previous passwords. ALWAYS change your passwords frequently.

Thursday, September 26, 2013

The Day Will Come

The day will come
we all are young,
we will not die
from older age.

We will be happy,
full of joy.
No longer deal
with acts of rage.

The day will come
we will not cry,
or mourn a loved one
asleep in death.

The former things
will have passed away.
No sickness, pain
or troubled breath.

The day will come
I'll smile again.
The day will come,
but not today.


Sunday, September 22, 2013

Dining Alone

R.a.n.t. of week 09/22/13
It's time for din-din and the cupboard is bare. Sure, you could just run out to go grocery shopping, then come home and prepare a mediocre dinner. But who has time for all that? Okay, maybe everyone beyond me, but by the time I get home from work it's about 5:30 or 6:00. Usually, I'm very tired and making dinner is not something I'd rather do when I'm tired. So what's a guy to do? Eating out is the obvious next option. If you are like me, eating fast food won't do the trick. Everything seems to be made with Grade F meat (Mostly circus animals with some filler). So something above fast food is the place to be. For most people, it's not a problem, but for someone like me who has a healthy dose of social anxiety, it's not always easy. I just feel kind of funny dining along, even though many friends and family tell me there is nothing wrong with it. (Oh my gosh, Jeff was dining alone last night! Not that there is anything wrong with that). So what are the pros and cons when it come to dining alone? Yes, I forced myself to think of a few pros and cons for when I have to dine alone.

Deciding Alone:
Pro - No committee meeting, long debates or haggling over where to go.
Con - No one to bounce ides off of. No influx of immediate suggestions. I'm a person who is very unoriginal when it comes to thinking of somewhere to eat. Can't even count the number of times I've heard one of my sisters tell me about a new place they've tried and I just scratch my head trying to figure out where they hear about some of the restaurants they've been too. Usually, I'll just resort to going somewhere I've been many times before. As hinted at, I get very anxious about finding a new place and entering, not knowing what to expect.

Sitting Alone:
Pro - A good time to be one with your thoughts, or Iphone.
Con - I always feel like I'm being looked at and judged. "He's dining alone, he must have no friends", "I feel bad for him, he's got no wife or girlfriend", "How sad is that, how pitiful, he's such a nobody". Okay, maybe unrealistic thoughts, but in my own mind I hear those slung in my direction. I told you, I have social anxiety and that's part of it.

Waiting Alone:
Pro - No having to wait for others to finish eating? When I'm done, I can just leave. (Once my bill is paid).
Con - Sitting alone and waiting as my bill is brought to me and/or processed. By the time my food has been consumed, I'm just about done with my thoughts. Mostly because I generally bring a notebook along with me to take notes in, especially when my thoughts are centred towards what I'm going to be writing or about next.

This past week I made plans with one of my friends to visit another friend who just started a job in a restaurant. As always, (I say always, I mean in this case), plans fell through. Instead of deciding to not go, because it was something I was looking forward to, I opted to go outside my comfort zone and 'just do it'. Confidentially, it kind of helped I was hoping to have a bad experience so I would have an awesome r.a.n.t. tale to tell, but it didn't quite turn out that way. Certainly, no horror story. And I can't say it wasn't worth writing home about, because after all, I just finished writing about it. So it can be done! I can dine alone. I'm just not very happy with it.

Sunday, September 15, 2013

Fast Talkers

R.a.n.t. of week 09/15/13
Auctioneers - One of my "guilty pleasure" type shows is called 'Storage Wars'. It's about a group of people who visit storage lockers that are being auctioned off because the owner of locker has defaulted in payments or abandoned. Let's just gloss over that many claim the show is rigged and some of the 'hidden treasures' are planted by the producers. To be honest, I could care less, the show is entertaining. Barry is hysterical, Brandi is gorgeous, Darrell kind of reminds me of one of my obnoxious yet best friends, and Dave is..... well no longer with the show. Am I okay with that? Yuuuuuuup!!!!!!!!!! Finally we have Dan and Laura Dotson - (Dotson, Dotson, we have Dotson here!); the auctioneers. One thing I've never fully understood was auctioneer speech. What's with the high speed talk? Is it really necessary? Okay, so you want to move things along, but does the high speed linguistics truly help? For the most part, no one understands a word being said until the auctioneer calls out a raise in price or the end of the auction. "bla bla bla bla bla 45 dollars bla bla bla do I hear 50? 50, 50 bla bla bla 50. Going once, going twice, SOLD for 45 dollars!

Jimmy John's - Anyone with one of these restaurants in their area has likely heard one of the commercials on the radio. Usually it involves a couple of the employees discussing how fast they truly are. As implied in the commercials, they are freaky fast! I recall one of the first times I went into a Jimmy John's, employees were throwing bread and wrapped sandwiches around in a frenzy, seemingly moving at freaky fast speeds. I almost wonder how many breads fell to the floor and were simply dusted off and reused. So does speaking fast, mean you can make a fast sandwich? Certainly a question I'll have to ask Dan Dotson if I ever meet him. But I think I know the answer to that, especially after my last drive-thru experience. Having ordered a sub, I waited twelve minutes for my sandwich. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE their sandwiches, but that was freaky slow. Unless of course they just ordered my sub from another location and it only took 12 minutes to bring that sub to this location. Now that would be freaky! Come to think of it, it WAS a Friday.

Commercials - Not much to say about this besides how much I hate when commercials do this. Usually it's a radio commercial because TV just shows the unreadable fine print. A radio commercial doesn't have that luxury so it spends 20 seconds of a 30 second spot claiming how wonderful their new and fantastic offer is, then ten seconds quickly letting everyone know what is exempt from this wonderfully, fantastic offer. By the time the commercial is done, you've forgotten what the offer is and you now have a headache trying to either listen to and/or understand what that buzzing display of wording was.

Phone Messages - Probably my least liked fast talker is the yahoo's who leave phone messages. Particularrly the ones who gab on for two long minutes, then as they leave a contact number it's "Fo-one-fo-fi-fi-five-si-oh-thr-two. Call me back". Then comes a dial tone and me saying "Okay, I got 414." Then I realize I have to listen to the entire two minute slow, painful oral drivel once or twice more. Depending on how quickly I can decipher the jumble of numbers thrown at me. Don't throw things at me, seriously. There's a reason I don't play sports very often.

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Slowly Dying

wash all over me.
Oh darkness,
cover me up.

May the silence
ever deafen me,
and all emptiness
fill my heart.

I feel the pain
grow inside,
as the numbness
settles in.

You stabbed me
yet are unaware.
I slowly die,
you walk away.

how I treasure you,
the evening darkness
I do prize.


Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Chili Food

When eating food, it must be spicy.
Though my ulcer thinks it's dicey.
I ignore the threat, so turn up the heat!
It's quite an adventure when I eat.
If made from chillies, I will crave.
My ulcer thinks I'm very brave.


Sunday, September 8, 2013

Out Of The Loop

R.a.n.t. of week 09/08/13
One of the things I hate most is being out of the loop. I always seem to be the last one thought of and reached to be told important information. For years I've had to battle with this, a lack of communication on other peoples end. Not saying I've never had a 'duh' moment, failing to hear or understand what someone has said to me. I think anyone that knows me, knows I'm very perceptive. This lack of communication on the part of others has most definitely honed my perceptive powers by having me figure things out from clues other people have said or done. Yes, probably that and watching the Mentalist.

There is a joke I have with one of my closest friends which stems from an experience where I learned my father was getting remarried from a third party. The conversation went something like this:
Bill: "So I hear your father is getting married."
Me: "He is?"

Other awkward moments from my past. Firstly, one that generally transpires at work.
Me: "I'm heading out for lunch."
Boss: "I've got a meeting in ten minutes, I'll need you to stick around. Hope you brought a lunch."
Me: "No, no I didn't.

The ex-wife.
Me: "What would you like for our anniversary?"
EW: "I want a divorce."

The Good Humour Man.
Me: "I'll have the peanut buster parfait."
GHM: "Sorry kid, we don't have peanuts any more. People are allergic to them."
Me: "But I had one just last week, why didn't you say you were eliminating them?"
GHM: "I sell ice cream kid, what do you want from me?"
Me: "A peanut buster parfait."

All jokes (en fait, half-jokes) aside, I'm still plagued by this predicament to this day. Usually, I'm finding information about my kids from third sources (because the ex isn't telling me anything). Or when I'm trying to do research, there is a spattering of information available, but I still have to rely on other people to help out. (Another story and r.a.n.t. for another time). Essentially, I feel I have to bug people to get information I would personally like, and I'm getting tired of bugging people. I hate being an annoyance to others. Once again, I must rely on my detective skills to fill in the gaps. Did I ever mention my sister and I always wanted to become P.I.'s? You know what they say, knowledge is power. Or so School House Rock used to teach me.