Free Gift Inside!

R.a.n.t. of week 01/18/15

Did that get your attention? It usually catches mine. Who wouldn't want a free gift? Well, I suppose it depends on what the gift is. One of the magazines I'm subscribed too, (Weight Watchers), from time to time sends a renewal letter with a "free gift" inside. The 'gift' invariably turns out to be a recipe for some dish I'm unlikely to try. Oh, a few have interested me, don't get me wrong. But it's hardly a gift I start jumping up and down about. Is this a gift I can re-gift to someone else? Perhaps a White Elephant gift?

This time of the year I also get a lot of emails from businesses, (mostly restaurants), with exciting news they are sending me a gift. This time the 'gift' turns out to be something along the lines of a free entrée or dinner with the purchase of another meal. Can you say coupon? Good, I knew you could. Now, let's not get carried away. When I receive these email and snail mails I'm not expecting to open them up and finding £100 inside, a Tardis keychain or a message from Diana Krall inviting me out for dinner. No, I don't expect that. I expect exactly what I find. So essentially, this r.a.n.t. involves the false promise or false expectation of receiving something I'm going to enjoy.

Still, a gift is a gift and one shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth. Unless you're from Troy. Then you might want to inspect the gift before you bring it into your city. Talk about a free gift inside!!!

Bap Recipe Below!*

Ingredients
Serves: 10
400g (14 oz) bread flour
3 tablespoons caster sugar
1 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons dried milk powder
225ml (8 fl oz) warm water (45 C)
2 tablespoons butter, softened
7g (1/4 oz) dried active baking yeast
1 egg white
2 tablespoons water

Method
Prep:1hr20min › Cook:15min › Ready in:1hr35min

Place the bread flour, sugar, salt, milk powder, water, butter, and yeast in the pan of the bread machine in the order recommended by the manufacturer. Set on Dough cycle; press Start.

Remove risen dough from the machine, punch down and turn out onto a lightly floured surface. Divide the dough into 10 equal pieces, and form into rounds. Place the rounds on lightly greased baking trays. Cover with a damp cloth, and let rise until doubled in volume, about 40 minutes. Meanwhile, preheat oven to 180 C / Gas mark 4.

In a small bowl, mix together the egg white and 2 tablespoons water; brush lightly onto the baps. Bake in the preheated oven for 15 minutes, or until the baps are golden brown.

*Free recipe stolen from: AllRecepes.co.uk

Karen Cooking

'Peanut Fried Rice With Fish'

We're cooking something so delish'

We like to cook and have some fun

but just make sure the rice is done.

And keep the skillet very hot,

then wipe your nose, I see your snot.

If your fish you think you'll miss

Quickly give a good-bye kiss.

A little mess from Pierre the klutz

at least he remembered to bring the nuts.

Next get the onions, they'll hit the spot,

what do you mean that you forgot?

Since the onions have been misplaced,

let's sample some of this fish paste.

If you have no cracker to put beneath

perhaps you can use to brush your teeth.

To finish off let's add a lime.

Please do not trip this time.

The food is done, now lets asses.

By golly, we just made a mess.
Cooking for Pemu must've seemed a threat,
that's why she left and went to Pho Viet.

J.A.Scott

If you really want to make Peanut Fried Rice With Fish,
ask Pemu for help. Not Pierre
And use the recipe below.

Ingredients

2 tablespoons oil
1 large onion, chopped (2 cups)
2 1/2 tablespoons minced ginger
1 tablespoon minced garlic
4 cups of cooked Jasmine Rice, cold*
1-2 tablespoons Fish Sauce
1/2-3.5 oz box Peanut Sauce Mix
2 cups cooked and flaked fish** (of choice, grilled or pan-seared)
1/3 cup chopped fresh basil
1 lime cut into 8 wedges
Optional: Favorite hot sauce
*Day old rice works best for fried rice.
**We used salmon for our test, but any firm fleshed fish will do.

Directions
1. In a large non-stick skillet heat oil over a high heat until hot. Add onions and cook until they are a deep brown (caramelized), but not black.
2. Add the ginger and garlic. Stirring, cook 2 or 3 minutes until fragrant. Add Jasmine Rice and Fish Sauce. Stir-fry until rice is coated with oil. Add more oil if too dry.
3. Add 1 inner envelope of Peanut Sauce Mix and fish. Stir-fry until heated through. Mix in basil at the last minute of cooking and serve.
4. Pass a bowl of lime wedges to squeeze on rice. For those who "like it hot" sprinkle on a few drops of hot sauce.

A Taste of Thai


This poem was inspired form a skit I performed with my friend Conrad, called "Karen Cooking". The skit can be viewed HERE: