R.S.V.P.

Dinner -
Party -
An evening plan.

Prep the food,
Buy the wine,
Make a list.

Respond -
Please -
R.S.V.P.

Be on time,
Kiss the host,
Associate.

- Jenni Long

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Jenni Long is a writer and editor
of the Canadian children's magazine
'Fille Forte'. That being said, her
thoughts do not necessarily reflect
those of myself.

Making Plans

R.a.n.t. of week 02/16/14

It's been a rough past week, so I've asked Jenni to fill in for me. Essentially, this Winter is getting tiring and I've been very busy. Perhaps a r.a.n.t. for another time? I'll be back next week. Excuse the photo of the week, Jenni supplied it. Thanks for reading.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Last Saturday I hosted a dinner party. Or attempted to host a dinner party would be more precise. Twenty-five invites went out in January, thirteen R.S.V.P.ed in the affirmative. Of these, three couples arrived; less than a quarter planned. This left me with various leftovers. The ham & horseradish spiral hors d'oeuvres are now sitting in the basement cooler, I don't eat horshradish. The poutine with oka cheese appetizers still linger, though I've eaten more by myself than I care to admit. The pan seared maple trout? This will likely find a new home in the dustbin, along with the rest of the culinary creations to which I was unable to persuade any of the three couples to part with. The Rossignol? Yes, I'll be holding on to that for a bit. I have several bottles, so it should last till the next time I decide to foolishly plan a dinner party.

A recent article in 'Fille Forte', we talked about proper etiquette when visiting a friend. The magazine has an 8 -12 year old girl demographic and yet it seems more people would benefit from reviewing the simple tips found within. Below are a few excerpts, with additional comments provided by me.

1.) Don't be a Debbi Drop-in.
Make sure the parents are aware of your visit. Just because your friend says it's okay, does not mean it's okay with the parents.
{The same can be said for adults. Just because I am home, does not mean I have free time.}

2.) Make a date. Set a time. Have some fun.
Be smart about plan making. When done wisely, you can schedule time for school-work and play.
{Again, as adults there is a reason scheduling is done. I don't ask you to RSVP for my health.}

3.) Be true to your word.
After awhile, people stop inviting Libby Liar over. Having better plans is no reason to cancel on your friend.
{Unacceptable excuses? 'We couldn't find a baby-sitter.' 'My dog was sick.' Or my personal favourite, 'My data planner crashed and I couldn't remember when the party was.'}

If you hadn't guessed, the three responses above were just a few of the pathetic juvenile replies I received. Is it any wonder I used portions of a children's magazine to give helpful tips? It's time to start acting like adults. And if you don't want to show up to an event I've planned, have the decency to let me know. Don't have your child call me. (Yes, that happened too).

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Jenni Long is a writer and editor
of the Canadian children's magazine
'Fille Forte'. That being said, her
thoughts do not necessarily reflect
those of myself.

Say Goodnight, Gracie

R.a.n.t. of week 08/04/13

I have always prided myself on striving to be the most gracious guest or hospitable host. Have I always succeeded? That's another story. I'd like to think I do.

When I attend a party, I like to bring something along, even if I'm told it's not necessary. When I host my own parties I like to go out of my way to make sure every amenity has been taken care of.

When attending a dinner party, I make sure to compliment as much as possible, without seeming insincere. Essentially, I find things to compliment, there is always something (usually many). When I host a party, I make sure to thank everyone as they arrive, and for whatever they have brought.

But there is always one thing I've had a problem with as the host and the guest - when to say good night. I think we've all been in this situation. As the guest, how do you know when it's time to call it an evening? When hosting a party, how can you discretely inform the guests the party is over? As it turns out, there are several ways both can be accomplished.

As the guest: Ask in advance how long they plan to have people over for.
Keep in mind: 2:00am is not the best time to ask this.
As the host: Provide a time frame in advance.
Keep in mind: 'Whenever' is not an acceptable time frame.

As the guest: Remember most hosts plan two to three activities. (Dinner, a game, light conversation).
Keep in mind: A slumber party is NOT usually one of the activities.
As the host: Play soft music during the party. When you are ready to wrap things up, stop.
Keep in mind: Do not select Brahms Lullaby as one of the 'soft songs' unless you are planning a sleep over.

As the guest: Watch for visual clues. i.e., starting to clean up or standing by the exit door.
Keep in mind: Don't tell the hosts they can clean up AFTER the party is over.
As the host: Wrap up conversations with, 'Hope you had a good evening' or 'We have to do this again'.
Keep in mind: Don't say, 'This is the latest you've ever stayed'.

In essence, use common sense and remember the rules may change slightly between situations. A long time friend may overstay a welcome with neither the host nor the guest thinking too much about it. But a new found friend may only stick around till after dinner.

"Say goodnight, Gracie."

"Goodnight Gracie."