Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Love & Loss (Part 14)

For a second all thoughts of anything wrong drained away. I was back in Vicki's arms where I needed to be. It felt good and I didn't want her to end the embrace. But the thoughts crept back and I relaxed as she did also. There was an awkward pause for a second till she asked why I didn't call in advance. I wanted to tell her I called several times. Instead I opted to ask who Terry was.

The question visibly shocked Vicki. She took a step back and averted looking into my eyes, a clear sign something was wrong. She told me it wasn't what I thought. Of course that was obvious, I didn't know what I thought. I then told her I called several times but no one answered or Laura told me she "was out". It seemed she was avoiding me, another sign something was wrong.

Standing in her doorway to discuss the situation was awkward for both of us. She invited me to sit at the table just inside. Her next comment was certainly obvious, if not redundant. She told me she met someone. She assured me they were just friends and I would probably like him if I meet him. She paused, perhaps feeling the anguish this caused me. Reality sank in and I knew things were never to be the same.

I'll spare you the rest of the conversation. To be honest, I'd rather not dwell on it. Essentially we talked for half an hour or so. I told her I could tell it was something more than just a simple relationship or she wouldn't have been avoiding me. She broke down in tears and told me how sorry she was and she never meant to fall for him. I was probably more understanding about it than she would have thought.

My one biggest fault has always been being too nice of a guy. I told Vicki where I was staying if she wanted to talk more, but I was leaving. I couldn't handle the information and thoughts of her tears being simply crocodile tears filled me up inside. I didn't know if that was true or not. I didn't know if she was sorry or not. But more importantly, I didn't know if she loved me or not.

Part 15 of 30

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