Winter's Door

An open door
in Winter is,
annoying as
a math pop-quiz.

Keep the door closed
if you can.
At least for me
that is the plan.

I do not like
a chilly breeze.
So help me out now
if you please.

You'll find for me
it's not okay.
To wait out Winter
in dismay.

If you need a lesson
I will teach.
Don't be surprised
if it's a speech.

I resist the urge
for me to hire.
A doorman's not
what I require.

Perhaps it's time
for me to weld,
the door secured...
I am compelled.

Office can through
a window stroll,
while neighbour upstairs
slides down a pole.

Or ask my grandma
to sit and stare,
and tsk those daft,
who boldly dare

to leave the door
open, so taboo.
Annoying as a
monkey throwing poo.

J.A.Scott

Open Door Policy

R.a.n.t. of week 12/14/14

Here's an interesting little fact. When the front door is open in the Midwestern states during winter, cold air blows in. Did you know that? Apparently it's news to some people, primarily others in the same apartment as me. The problem is, one of the tenants lives upstairs and away from the back door and the rest of the uninformed people work for the business which also uses the same door. Additionally, the outside door is next to my kitchen door and when the outside door is left open cold air rushes into my kitchen under the door.

Suggestions on how to resolve the situation are simple enough.
1.) Ignore the problem. It'll go away in about four months.
2.) Move
3.) Approach each person and instruct them on how to close a door.
4.) Every time someone enters or leaves, open my apartment door and slam the outside door loudly.
5.) Put up a sign that reads, 'This door does not close itself. I've asked it to do so many times, but it refuses. Can you assist?"
6.) Hire a doorman
7.) Administer electro-shock therapy to those unable to figure out how to close a door.
8.) Ever time someone successfully closes the door, walk out and pat them on the head, telling them what a good boy they are (or girl) and how proud I am of them.
9.) Weld the door shut. I can use my front door. The office can use a window. Upstairs tenant can slide down a pole like Batman used to do.
10.) Pay an older lady to sit by the door and tsk people who leave the door open. She will reply with. "No, don't worry about me. I LIKE the door open blowing cold air on my feet."
11.) Train a monkey to sit on the steps and throw poo at anyone who does not close the door.

Did I miss any?

Spring Ahead

R.a.n.t. of week 03/09/14

Daylight Savings Time has begun and I couldn't be happier. It's the time of the year we set our clocks ahead one hour and in return receive an extra hour of light in the evening. But I'm not here to rant about how I hate when DST ends as I've already done so HERE. And, as I love DST, I'm not going to rant about that this week. Instead, I've decided to go on and on about the comments a few people who actually hate this time of year have made to me. For the record, I'm not ranting ABOUT my friends who hate this time of year. We all have our differences of opinions and my friends are welcome to theirs. I'm talking about the reasons these people hate this time of year, the comments. Who hates this time of year? And why? Polling a few of my friends who claim to hate Spring and love Winter, these are the responses I received to that question.

"I'll lose an hour of sleep." - Seriously, if this is your complaint, go to bed an hour early. You'll lose no sleep that way. If you ask me, losing one hour of sleep is a fabulous exchange for more evening sunlight the rest of the year.

"It signals the end of Winter." - Believe it or not, there are some people who actually enjoy cold, slippery, overcast days. I accept my depression as much as the next guy, that doesn't mean I want to enjoy or prolong it. And how can anyone enjoy the cold? I don't get it, I like to be warm. Maybe I'm crazy, or maybe that's just my newly infused KAYIN-SGAW blood in me.

"Spring is to dirty and mucky." - I picture in my mind the entrance to my apartment this entire Winter. Shoes, boots and what have you, drenched with snow and slush. Most of this disgusting mess has found it's way onto my kitchen floor, and so has salt from the roads. When you live in the North, the roads need to be salted to keep them from getting slick and slippery. As one drives around on the streets, this salt also builds up on the cars. It doesn't matter what colour your car is, by the end of Winter all are the hazy shade of grey.

"Bugs." - Granted, this is one thing about Spring I do not like. I once lived in a house infested with cockroaches. Not a favourite time in my life. Even now I have to battle with ants, I've already complained about that HERE. So on this one grievance, I'll give a pass. Still, it's ironic that just a month ago when we were experiencing zero degree weather, I spied a lone ladybug crawling on my kitchen window. It seems even among bugs, there are a few odd ones that actually like Winter.

"I'm allergic to Spring." - I could give this one a pass too since I also suffer from allergies. But there is medication if you find allergies unbearable. Personally, I just endure it. Again, I find it's a small price to pay for the sunlight, the warmth, the beauty and the fragrance of Spring.

Spring, It's a time of renewal and reinvigoration. It's a clean slate. New goals, new ambitions, new projects. It's time to put a song in my heart and a spring in my step.

The Eternal Winter

R.a.n.t. of week 03/02/14

I always endeavour to take each season in stride. Spring is lovely because the snow melts, it begins to warm up, the days start to get longer, and mud can be found everywhere, what's not to love about Spring? As a Midwesterner, I longingly look forward to Spring. From there we go to Summer. Hot days, cool nights, broken A/C's, then suddenly hot nights and sweat. Blink and suddenly it's gone. By the time Autumn arrives, most plans for the year have already been taken care of. It's a good time to finally rest and relax. Enjoy a cup of coffee, tea, hot cider and just about any sort of treat you can possibly make from a pumpkin, because you'll find it. Finally, Winter arrives. So does the cold, the snow, the slush, the dreariness, the depression, the accidents, the shovelling, the..... I could go on. And like the last guest at a party that should have ended hours ago, doesn't want to leave. But certainly there must be some good to come from Winter, yes? (You need not reply all you crazy people who love this lingering weather). I've thought about this for a few days and I have to admit, the best part about Winter are the Winter themed movies. The films I can enjoy and watch from the comfort of my warm, cozy, living room. Reflecting as I watch these, I realize they've taught me many things. For example, never stick your tongue to a metal pole, even if someone triple dog dares you. 

Home Alone

Macaulay Culkin: Don't leave home without him.

It's a Wonderful Life

Never wish you had never been born, you might get your wish.

Cool Runnings

When life hands you..... no snow. Ignore life and go bobsledding anyway.

Frozen

Kids need to keep their hands to themselves.

Groundhog Day

Never annoy Bill Murray when he's reliving the same day over and over.

*******************

Charles Winthrop here. Let's not forget
all the spectacular and wonderful Winter
themed songs available. For example:
'Winter Wonderland' is sung by over
150 different people. Bond plays their
rendition of 'Wintersun'. Simon and
Garfunkle did 'Hazy Shade of Winter' and what's the
other one they sing? Oh yea, I remember...


♫ Slip sliding away, slip sliding away ♪
♫ You know the nearer your destination,
the more you slip sliding away. ♪

Winter Sun

I beg the last
of this year’s snow,
to view the blossoms
why don't you go?

My heart is hardened
by your frosty air,
a cold hard slap
of contemptible despair.

You leave your mark
as a sign of disgrace,
so I turn my back
stand against your face.

So my frozen dreams
and heart undone,
can burn again
under the Summer Sun.

J.A. Scott

Winter Sun?

R.a.n.t. of week 03/17/13

Last month we asked Phil how long of a winter we could expect. He replied, "Not much more", then scurried back into his den to laugh at us for a while. Perhaps, however, the majority of us were asking the wrong Phil. Weatherman Phil Connors gave a much different outlook. "When Chekhov saw the long winter, he saw a winter bleak and dark and bereft of hope." Oddly, not everyone believes in this. One of my best friends loves the bitter cold winters. No, we don't talk about the weather much, leads to many fights.

I sat freezing in a cold car this morning (trying to warm it up), when the song 'Winter Sun' from Bond came on. During the song a poem is read. The first part reads;

I have seen moon and
blossoms, now I go.
To view the last and
loveliest, the snow.
- Bond Version

With all due respect to my favourite quertet, I'm getting a little sick of the snow. For me the reverse is true;

I beg the last
of this years snow,
to view the blossoms
why don't you go?
- J.A. Scott Version

Getting back to the temperature; today's average was -2°c (27°f), a year ago it was 17°c (63ºf). Talk about a radical difference. Any possibility we can warm this place up? I've got an idea. Let's all leave our front doors open. From what mum used to tell me, it'll heat the entire neighbourhood.

The poem continues;

A frozen dream,
a heart undone.
Forever burning,
under the Winter Sun.
- Bond Version

Honestly,  I can't improve upon this, because it describes me to a "T". From any of my frozen (or stagnant) dreams to my heart being (romantically) undone. I just hope it won't burn forever in the 'Winter Sun'. Maybe just a slight modification?

So my frozen dreams
and heart undone,
can burn again
under the Summer Sun.
- J.A. Scott Version




Blog Notes: I sat in my cold basement to write this. Creativity deserves inspiration.
Additional: Read both parts of my 'Summer Sun'  poem together so it makes more sense.

For more info on Bond - Check out their official website HERE