Showing posts with label Fauna. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Fauna. Show all posts

Monday, February 8, 2016

Superb Owl 50 Review

R.a.n.t. of month February, 2016
For some reason, there was a major game played this past weekend and yet the organizers of the game do not wish people to mention it by name. So, per their request, I will not be talking about that game. Instead, I shall be discussing a well-to-do strigiform. This Superb-Owl, much like my friend Brandon, enjoys watching TV commercials. This weekend was no exception. 'Horace', the official Jeffrey Scott Blog mascot compiled a list of his favourite commercials he saw on TV yesterday. He calls the list...

the SUPERB OWL 50 REVIEW
Below can be found the 10 most interesting from his list of 50. Per his eccentricity, he agreed to present an award to each of his selections.


The Shocking Beer Tapper Award

Shock Top: Unfiltered Talk

The Picture Imperfect Award

Skittles: Steven Tyler Skittles Art

The I Love It When A Plan Doesn't Come Together Award

Toyota: The Longest Chase

The I Love Ewe Award

Honda: A New Truck To Love

The Coolest Razor Award

Hydro: Robot Razor Battle

The This Will Give You Nightmares Award

Mountain Dew PuppyMonkeyBaby

The Admitting When You Are Wrong Award

T-Mobile: Steve Harvey

The Far Out Space Nuts Award

Avocados From Mexico

The First Date Gone Wrong Award

Hyundai: First Date

The Most Unexpected Delivery Award

Doritos: Ultrasound

Additional Questions:
Horace, Jeffrey Scott's Superb Owl Mascot, wishes to know if you ever found a commercials enjoyable to watch.
Do you agree with any of Horace's choices?
Are there any he may have missed?

Monday, January 25, 2016

Horsing Around

Meet Lando. He's a silly horse.

My friend Kate is the proud owner.

Lando begs for treats by sticking out his tongue.

This was my friend Doe Do's first time visiting a horse.

Lando checks me out while I take his photo.

Kate & Doe Do posing with Lando. He loves the attention.

I promised Kate I would come and take photos of her and Lando.

A girl and her horse. Riding off into the sunset.

Doe Do was eager to visit the horse so Kate invited her along.

Doe Do spends time with Lando while Kate does chores.

The visit is over. Kate and Doe Do say goodbye.

I, of course, had to take an artsy photo while I was there.

The moon rises as we leave. Good night Lando. See you next time.

Additional Questions:
What & how many pets do you own?
How did they get their names?
Is the name random or a namesake?

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Bonus Material

Lando's Namesake

I've been promising Kate for awhile I would come take photos of her and Lando. It was a bit cold out, but we decided a few snow pictures would be neat. In Summer, I'll be back to take a few more photos of her and Lando.

It was also cool to see my other friend get her wish of visiting Lando. Its' something not many people in the city get to do. Doe Do was overjoyed and Kate was happy to introduce the two.

(To Be Continued This Summer)

Monday, October 12, 2015

Random Rants - III

R.a.n.t. of week 10/12/15
I've been ranting for (four) years now, but every once in a while I like to see what is irritating other people. This is where Random R.a.n.t.s comes in. Once a year I like to turn to Twitter and see what other people are ranting about. I certainly can't be the only one complaining all the time. Right? In true R.A.N.T. fashion (rage against nothing, typically), some of the rants I discovered from September are small and petty. No worries, that's what a good rant is about. And yet, several people I know have made fun of me for r.a.n.t.s. Well, turn about is fair play. Below are my third annual random rants, along with humorous retorts provided by yours truly. Enjoy the session and look below for information on how you too can join in on the fun once a month.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

S. Cook ‏ - Im so rude to cold callers its unbelievable! Not being funny though but if I wanted your product don't you think Id ring you myself!
>What if they were selling a book on funny ways to deal with cold callers? I might actually buy that from them.

B. Skrabanek - Why does curry always get such a bad rap? My apartment reeks of it tonight and it's absolutely divine.
>Why the bad rep? REEK - [rēk] VERB to smell strongly and unpleasantly.

T. Plumpton - The roadworks are ridiculous at Temple @CornwallCouncil not a single worker in sight! Also the new car park phone system is a pain!
>Please, only one rant per customer.

A. Bensing - I wish people would be honest with me, instead of this tip toe through the tulips bull crap
>Great, now I have Tiny Tim's song running through my head.

L. Williamson - It feels like every week new 'rare' photos of the #Beatles are released. How many more 'rare' photos are there?
>42

J. Gromest - I have come to the conclusion that people from Maryland don't know how to drive.
>Oddly I was just thinking the same thing about Wisconsin people.

L. White - don't hate me for this, but I'm so bored of Clara! WE NEED A NEW COMPANION ALREADY (pick me pick me pick me pick me)
>Sounds like she'll be gone soon enough. Personally, I'll miss her. I just hope they don't kill her off.

Max - Not happy with the trend in modern dramatic TV series of killing main characters after they fulfill their plot role.
>I hate when they do that in comic books. But then again, no super hero has ever truly died, have they? That's just as annoying.

B. Sachan - Here we go again. Food blogger = a person who WRITES a blog dedicated to all things food. Blog =a regularly updated website. WEBSITE.
>Feel free to follow my blog. Why only last month I was ranting about rotten fruit.

Sher - Why are there never coupons for fruit??? Grapes are expensive and necessary in my diet. Ugh!
>If only there was a food blogger who discussed this topic. I hate how expensive fruit is too, especially when it's rotten when you eat it.

KewlBabe - Getting tired of the @USPS paying for 2 day shipping only for it not to be there in 2 days, not even 3 days, today makes the 4th day.
>Where you using The United States Procrastinators System again?

Nerdarchy - I'm tired of "articles" where you have to click, click, click to view next piece of content- it's just a scam to up click rates!
>I hate those as well, so I'm not even going to joke about this. But if you really, really want to see my joke on this, click to the next article.

Nicole - Rage cleaning is a thing I do. In fact, I am doing it right now. I need to put on some music and dance like no one is watching.
>I hope using your tweet upsets you. My house could use a good cleaning. Stop over any time you want.

Mac - When did "used cars" turned into "pre-owned vehicles"? It's still the same thing.
>It's a politically correct phrase. Hey, cars are people too. Right mother?

Anna ‏- Drive thru rules:if ur ordering the whole store GO inside (this way u dont hold up the drive thru line)
>And who trained the cashiers to give you the bills first, then place the change on top. Making all your change fall to the ground. Drive Thru - Certainly a First World Problem if I ever saw one.

I. McDermott - I thought @jimmyjohns were the guys with the fast delivery, until they were 18 minutes late with my order and made me late for class.
>You think that is bad? I was at their drive through the other day and the guy in front must have been ordering every sub in the place. That was freaky and I waited a freaky long time for my sub.

Ray ‏- Does anyone know a place online where I can #rant in private? Like #real private.
>If you want real private try this. Pen, Journal, Bedroom. Can't get any more private than that. Unless you want t go find a cave to write in somewhere.

DiceShamingIsAThing ‏- Ugh that was rough. Lost the wizard. Had to spend cash on his res. Got no prestige. No items. GM screwed us at a couple points. Ugh.
>For my joke reply, please roll 2D6 and tell me the results. If you have a +2 jocular sword, let me know.

Patti - Here's an idea: let's pay for groceries @ pharmacy so u can hold up the line waiting for .....oh yeah PRESCRIPTIONS!!!!
>Just to get back at everyone, you should pay for your medicine in cosmetics.

TФDD ИФΔLL - Quit apologizing because you haven't posted in a while. No one noticed/cared.
>It's been 13 months since my last random rants and no one has noticed or cared? :'(

J. Brown - Signal lights - use them to tell people what you WANT to do, not what you're ABOUT to do. They're useless if you don't.
>It's like, "In case you couldn't tell, I'm turning." Yes, we know.

J. V. Relph - After spending hours in a movie theater, I'm left to wonder if they ever shampoo those damn chairs *feeling itchy*
>This might be one of my subconscious reasons why I don't go very often, Alex J. Cavanaugh.

K. Barth - I really hate home owner associations. Nit pick over the stupidest stuff.
>Isn't nit-pick supposed to be hyphenated?

E. Olmstead - don't tell me you're an animal lover but you still eat meat
>Would this be a bad time to mention I always thought PETA stood for People Eating Tasty Animals?

Aharon - Cannot understand why Profs find it surprising that students could fall sick. Should ask them to try the mess food.
>Hey, who's writing the jokes around here? Stop stealing mine.

Faith Guy - What does community college have in common with Mars? Well there's no intelligent life there, but people still keep trying to go!
>Perhaps they really enjoy the food in the mess hall.

M. Aprison - I know it shouldn't bother me so much but my name is Margaret. It's not Marge or Margie or Mags. It's Margaret.
>So I guess Large Marge is inappropriate too? I'll let Pee-Wee know.

A. Carney - It's 75 and sunny out. I don't understand these people at the gym running on treadmills.
>No kidding, it's a perfect day for an ice cream on the beach.

Barrister Moses - When a person drinks alcohol, everyone says he's alcoholic but when I drink Fanta no one says I'm fantastic.
>Can I hire you next year for the next random rants article?

Craig - NO Voters must feel like right idiots. They're the type that actually give their bank details to the Nigerian Lottery winning Prince
>Why is it a bad thing to give my bank details to the Nigerian Lottery board? I've won and soon they are going to forward £2,500,000 into my account. First I have a clearing fee of £1,000 to give them and another transfer fee of £500. But then the money is all mine!!!!

Brewstock - Anyone see @CervezaModeloMX advertising the clear bottles their beer comes in? It helps "show its character" and skunk your beer!
>Maybe their campaign character should be Pepé Le Pew.

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Do you like to r.a.n.t. too?

A few people have wondered where my R.a.n.t. series has gone. It really hasn't gone anywhere. It's still here. But having joined a few blog hops and working on my own short story series, my time for writing has been cut drastically. So I had a thought. What about ranting once a month?

When will I be ranting?
I'm hoping to write the second Monday of each month. This way I only need to write one r.a.n.t. a month.

Can I join in on the fun?
YES! I'm interested in reading what other people are r.a.n.t.ing about.

How do I join you?
Grab the banner below and let me know you are interested.

What should I r.a.n.t. about?
What you want to complain about. Preferably, something that's been bugging you lately.
Examples: Your writing - the supermarket - annoying people. The sky is the limit.
If you need additional suggestions, re-read the random rants above.

*Please note. This article is not my typical format. I only do random rants once a year.

This is the banner I've created. Thoughts? Anyone interested in joining?

See you all next month for my next r.a.n.t. article.
November 9th

Thursday, April 30, 2015

Z is for Zoo

R.a.n.t. of day 04/30/15
Zoos are a fun way to see animals you'd never get a chance to see. Milwaukee has an amazing zoo and you could spend all day in. The Milwaukee County Zoo has such a wide variety of animals to see. Lizards, penguins, bats, llamas, lions, tigers, bears. Oh my, the list could go on and on. The problem with the zoo is it's very expensive to maintain. And understandably so. I can only imagine how much it costs to house and feed a single gorilla or elephant, much less an entire zoo.

Obviously, some of the cost is passed on to visitors. Currently, if you want to visit our zoo, it's $14.25 admission for adults, $11.25 for children and a $12.00 fee for parking. The cost for a small family of four is $63.00. And that's just to walk in the door. Coming from a family with five other siblings living in the same house as them, you can imagine how often my father took us as a family. The number starts with the letter Z.

So as not to be completely negative, I have to give thanks to the zoo because it's a beautiful place and they do provide a select number of free days. One day in each month, October - March, is selected. True, it's the coldest months in Wisconsin, but still, it's provided for free. I've been to the zoo several times, normally when I was in school. I'm much older now, and perhaps I should take advantage of either those free days, or stop being a cheap-skate and get to the zoo to see these wonderful, beautiful creations. And while I'm thinking about it, maybe invite my children. I believe the number of times I've taken them begins with the letter Z too.

Some questions for discussion:
What do you like or dislike about zoos?
What's your favourite animal?
What great attractions do you have where you live?

Can you believe this is the end of the A-Z blogging month?
Thanks go out to each and every one of you who have stopped by my little corner of the worlds this month. Yes, I r.a.n.t. a lot, but I hope I accomplished that with warmth and humour.
See you in the funny papers!

(Vote for the rant that annoys you the most on the right side) ------->

Saturday, April 4, 2015

D is for Dogs

R.a.n.t. of day 04/04/15
I realize this r.a.n.t. will be disagreed upon by many people. Most people know I'm not a big dog person. But the truth is, I've had a love/hate relationship with dogs for a long time. I have many friends who have dogs and when I stop by their house, I'm willing to pet and play with their dog. My sister has a dog, and when the dogs dies, I'll likely cry too. So, I don't hate dogs. This isn't a dog hating rant. I do know I'll never have one for myself. Essentially, I hate dogs owned by certain neighbours. Most recently there was a dog in the apartment above me. All hours of the night the dog was running back and forth. Sometimes I thought the dog was practising his tap dancing routine because the clack-clack-clack never seemed to stop. It was maddening.


When I was a child, I was chased down by a mean, vicious dog on two separate occasions. I did not appreciate that on either occasion. Even today, walking past certain houses will yield a wild and crazy dog running up to the fence and barking it's bloody head off. PASS!

Jeffrey Scott's Story Time:
  Once upon a time, I was running a 5K when I passed a neighbour and his dog. The dog decided to follow me instead of stick around with his owner. (The r.a.n.t. photo of the day is the same dog.) I was on a tight schedule, so what do I do? I keep running. Dogs eventually give up and return to their owner. Right? Wrong! it was soon apparent he wanted to run the 5K with me. So I had to stop my stopwatch and address the dog.
  "Go Home!" I told the dog. "Go, your master wants you." The dog just looked at me like I was crazy.
  "Ruff, rufff rrrrrrruf ruff ruff ruff rruufff" (Translation - You are my new owner, I like you). Long story short, the neighbour eventually decided to come collect his dog.
  "Hey, where you going with my dog?" he asked.
  "I was taking him to the pound," I said. I was upset his stupidity was taking away from my time. Though I was joking, he didn't find the comment humorous and he started chasing me. So my 5K continued with new-found motivation. He huffed to a stop after about ten steps and collapsed on the grass. His dog took off running the other way. Most likely home. I hope to lock the dumb jerk out of his own house. Some people just shouldn't have pets.

Some questions for discussion:
Do you own a pet? If so, what kind?
How do you deal with irritating neighbours?
What's the worst experience you've had with an animal?

Sunday, March 8, 2015

In the Air Tonight

R.a.n.t. of week 03/08/15
I'm a hands on person. When I'm learning something, I need a text book, worksheet or something showing me exactly what I'm learning. It also needs to be physical, not something 'in the air'. I can do maths, but horrible when it comes to air maths. Same for spelling. I may have got a crocodile in spelling, but air spelling is difficult for me. For example, if someone asks me to spell 'crocodile' I can write it, no problem. If I'm telling them, I have to think. So it shouldn't surprise anyone I'm the same way when it comes to possessing media. I know we are living in the digital age, but I'm a sucker for feeling like I actually own something I purchased. I know most are transferring to and comfortable with digital, but I don't understand it. When I purchase a music CD, I feel like I actually own it when I physically hold the CD in my hands, am looking at the artwork or placing the disk in my car stereo. The same goes for books, games or films. If I own it, I want to put the disk in my PS3 or in my media cabinet or placed on display. It's the way I am, I want to possess it in hand, not floating somewhere in the air tonight.

PS - If you are curious why I used this particular photo for the r.a.n.t. the answer can be found on a previous blog post. Can you figure it out? - HERE

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Something New


At times I long for something new.
As a vagabond I'd love to dabble,
with exotic lands to wander through.

That's why I often seek to travel.
Visit wondrous shores so very far.
Stroll barefoot on North Sea gravel.

Or one day soon see Myanmar,
the stunning Padauk golden flower,
shop for spice in a Yangon bazaar.

Experience rain of a tropical shower,
photograph a troop of kangaroo,
see the view from Skytree Tower.

J.A.Scott

Friday, November 21, 2014

Socks on Fox


Time we talk of missing socks,
stolen by a ludicrous fox.
He likes to stack all sorts of clocks,
on top of wonky slanted blocks.
Annoying too, is how he talks,
of breaking into the Fort Knox.
He dreams of switching gold for rocks,
all while wearing our stolen socks.

J.A.Scott

Friday, November 14, 2014

Lead A Horse


You can lead a horse to water,
but you cannot make her drink.
She is just a simple trotter.

Plead to one for her own life,
ignores you and then walks away.
Argument just brings you strife.

No matter how you try, you fail,
to motivate the proper course.
Debating is to no avail.

Beat your head against the wall,
some just never learn.
Wisdom you cannot install.

You can lead a horse to water,
but you cannot make her think.
Reasonableness is such a bother.

J.A.Scott

Thursday, October 2, 2014

Spider


He sits upon his silken web,
awaiting just a single tap.
Patient he, throughout the day,
till interrupted from his nap.

A tremor felt, and then he springs
to his victim in the net.
His venom ends another life.
No remorse, no regret.

J.A.Scott

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Psychrolutes Marcidus


My favourite fish looks like a blob.
Perfect mascot for a human slob.
He asked a girl out on a date,
she replied, 'You're over-weight.
And then she added, very cruel,
'You're an ugly, stupid, silly fool'.
'Loving you would be so funny,'
'Unless, of course, you've lots of money'.
She swam into the murky dark,
when suddenly appeared an evil shark.
Despite the hurtful taunts she gave,
he went to help 'cause he was brave.
The shark put up a terrible fight,
but in the end succumbed to fright.
The girl, I'm sure, was most confused,
our hero pummelled, badly bruised.
He asked again, though on the mend.
She laughed harder still.
The End.

J.A.Scott

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Coati Mondi


Relaxing in Mexico all afternoon,
I spied an odd pest-like raccoon.

Flocking together as a bevy of quail,
proudly displaying their smooth ringed tail.

This Mexican begger has found a way,
to keep well fed from the food buffet.

As one approached I give a shout,
then he ran away with his crooked snout.

J.A.Scott

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

LIzzy the Lizard


Lizzy is so very cool,
with her fiendish, evil grin.
Beautiful in her own way,
I love the texture of the skin.

You'll see her where it's very warm,
cold-blooded means she likes the heat.
And when she's hungry, you should know,
fruits and greens she likes to eat.

When evading the hungry hawk,
there is one more bizarre detail.
Lizzy still can get away,
if she sheds her writhing tail.

J.A.Scott

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Humming Bird


Beat your wings so you may fly.
Visible, barely, to the naked eye.
You hover there without a care
drinking nectar in mid-air.
Buzzing, humming, in delight,
through the entirety of your flight.
Watching you is such a thrill
till suddenly you have had your fill.

J.A.Scott

Sunday, June 23, 2013

Doodie Duty

R.a.n.t. of week 06/23/13
I've never been much of a dog person for several reasons. Some dogs do nothing but bark constantly. Others get over excited and you wish they'd calm down. Additionally, some dog breeds are mean, vicious and uncontrollable. The thought of a dog wanting to jump in my face to lick it, turns my stomach. I know what they clean with those tongues. But there is one thing all dogs have it common. To be fair, it's something they have in common with every animal on the planet. I'm certain I need not elaborate. But it's not that, that I complain about. Nor am I actually complaining about dogs. I don't really mind dogs, just not certain I'd want to actually own one. One of the main reasons is because I'd be continually trying to clean up after it, specifically in the yard. Oh wait, could that be what I'm complaining about? But I don't have a dog, so why would I be r.a.n.t.ing about that? Well, my neighbour does own a dog, but I'm not certain the same principles are being followed. I think if you are going to keep a dog, the least you can do is clean up after it, especially when others share the same yard with you. Or at the very least, generate a map for me so I know where all the land mines are.



Answers to last weeks questions:
E.E.G.G.

How well did you do on the quiz?
Would you be interested in future quizzes?

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Brontosaurus


The Apatosaurus was very cross,
as you'll notice - full of rage.
Stomped his feet down in a huff,
it was not 'bout his ancient age.

Really he just had a tiff,
he longed to one day procreate.
But all the ladies ran and hid,
in part because his massive weight.

He never had a lack of trying,
always tried to say hello.
Then off they went so hurriedly
why did he have to be so slow?

Really though, he was a clod,
a reason they would not succumb.
He bragged about himself a lot,
that dino was so very dumb.

J.A.Scott

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

The Penguin


Swimming freely in the drink,
(the mighty penguin).
You're not a Joker as some might think.

Emperor of all the sea,
(oh flightless fowl).
Surviving in a minus degree.

Dining on just a fish,
(in the Arkham of Antartica).
You could have anything that you'd wish.

All the money you have spent,
(the Tux is looking fine).
Were you invited to a Wayne Event?

J.A.Scott

Saturday, April 13, 2013

Playful Puppy

This poem should be
about a Puppy.
People love how
they roll and Jump.
But I'd rather write
about a Guppy.
Though no tail,
or ears or rump.

Gill was born of
his siblings first.
And always liked
to make a splash.
But soon his pride
was quickly burst,
when a puppy jumped on him
in a flash.


J.A.Scott

Friday, April 12, 2013

Kibble Dreams


Silently formed a kitty clowder,
till suddenly they became much louder.

Rache the cat - don't mess with her.
Lest she calls the clan for armour.

Equipped with weapons - ever more.
That's why they mine the precious ore.

With sapiens they've declared war.
And dream of violent ruddy gore.

The carnage will be most dramatic,
Men revert to cowering frantic.

In her mind, such a fanatic.
But just a cat - so no such antic.

Kibble inspired dreams are sick!

J.A.Scott

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Kopi Luwak

"Give me NOW, something new!
Very tired of cafe au lait."

I can do that, if you must.
Try some pricey Kopi Luwak.

"Make it special, make it right!
Something fancy as an opera."

Don't be so huffy, have a seat.
Enjoy a cuppa from Sumatra.

"Woman really! Is this a trick?
I've had this Joe. Every visit!"

This blend is special, just for you.
Prepared with love from a civet.

"I don't believe it, suggested well.
And surprised you shared with me."

The civet excretes bean from it's rear.
Not every body's cup of tea.

J.A.Scott


*Please, be kind to your barista.