Monday, April 26, 2010

Love & Loss (Part 26)

It was not who you might think it was, but close. I opened the door and eying me suspiciously was Jenni's mother. She immediately sized me up and I could hear her thoughts of, 'Wow he let himself go'. I stood for a few seconds in shock. She was the last person I would have expected. Before I could even speak she handed me a bag and told me I should have what was inside. Then suddenly, she turned and left without saying anything more.

It was at that moment, even before looking inside the bag, I decided to change who and what I was. It was almost as if a light suddenly came on and the past 13 years I was living someone else's life. It was finally time I stopped doing nothing with my life. Of course there was additional motivation once I looked into the bag. You see, once again I was in possession of Jenni's diary.

Her mothers motive for giving me the diary was unclear. Perhaps it was her way of letting go? But why give up on her daughter? True, I gave up on her, but Jenni wasn't family. I assumed she ran away from just me, not everyone. Last time I looked inside her diary, greedily. I debated whether I should this time. I placed the diary inside a small box and placed it on a shelf in my closet. Ignoring it.

Not quite sure what it was, but something awoke inside me. I started to watch what I was eating, joined a gym and was persuaded to enter a weight watching class. It wasn't long before the pounds dropped. It took me a few years, but I shed 100 pounds. I was feeling better as well as looking better. As I was working on myself, I also started to concentrate on my writing once more.

I was really starting to feel I was coming alive once more. I wasn't having as much success in writing as I would have liked, but I was writing again and feeling much better. It seems I had woken up from my dream. There was still a few things in my life I had never done, travel was one of them. I had never left Milwaukee, unless you count the time I went to Washington. Yea, funny I should mention Washington.

Part 27 of 30

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