Wednesday, April 22, 2015

S is for Spatula City

R.a.n.t. of day 04/22/15
This place is a joke. Can you believe I actually decided to try this place? The commercials make the store look convenient and friendly to shop in. It's anything but! The staff were rude, the prices inflated and finding the perfect spatula was impossible. Let me explain.

"There is just on place to go for all your spatula needs," says the commercial in a friendly sing-song voice. But when I asked about the double spatted grill flipper I was told they were out of stock. Doesn't sound like all my spatula needs were being met. So much for having a warehouse of spatulas for every occasion.

"Every shape, size and colour." This, at least, is true. You can have any colour spatula, as long as the colour is grey. Other colours of the rainbow seem to escape their notice. And size? I was looking for a spatula for mini-me and guess what? Not sold in ANY store. It was strictly an internet exclusive.

"Where do you go if you want to buy name brand spatulas at a fraction of retail cost?" Not at Spatula City! After not finding my special spatula, I asked to see their Oxo collection. I was informed they were being relocated. The stock-boy was on lunch and I'd have to come back later. So I asked for a Gordon Ramsay brand spatula. Suddenly the sales clerk starts yelling at me! He said I should find it myself or get the BLEEP out of his store.

A giant sign in the window displayed a 'special liquidation sale. Buy nine spatulas, get the tenth one for just one penny'. This is what initially excited me. However when inquiring about this special I was told the special was over and I should have come when it was still in effect. When I asked when that was, he made an excuse and walked away. I think it's a lie. AVOID THIS STORE AT ALL COST!

"Don't forget, they make great Christmas presents." This was on the recent commercial. We ALL heard it, didn't we? Do they ever update their ad spots?

"And what better way to say 'I love you', than with the gift of a spatula", says the commercial. But I'll never forget those hurtful words my wife shouted as she walked out on me. "What's in the box? A SPATULA?!?! STUPID! You're so stupid!" It turns out spatulas are NOT the perfect way to say I love you.

Says president of Spatula City, Sy Greenblum, "I liked their spatulas so much, I bought the company." Well guess what Sy? You can keep your spatulas. I don't want them and I will not shop at your store again. The experience was awful and I was nearly trampled trying to walk in the store once you opened. Ten minutes late, I might add. Ten minutes!


* Late breaking news. I just read this morning, all seven locations are closing their doors for good. So much for their sole spot in the yellow pages; listed under spatulas. Will anyone fill their shoes? I guess we can only wait. And I for one am excited to find out who.

♫ Spatula City. We no longer sell spatulas. And that's all!

Some questions for discussion:
Have you ever been to Spatula City?
What has been your worst shopping experience?
Does anyone use yellow pages any more?

18 comments:

  1. How could a store with nothing but spatulas survive? Especially if they don't really have all of them?

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  2. I have never heard of Spatula City? Who the heck came up with this idea?? And who wants a spatula as a Christmas present???

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  3. Hahahahahahaaa.... Love this. Never saw UHF, actually, but I remember that dream sequence with Money For Nothing. Very, very cool :D (And thanks for the visit over at Quiet Laughter -- glad you found the blog néchi ;) )

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    1. Thanks, glad you enjoyed it. Always appreciate it when someone 'gets' the joke. :)

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  4. I guess the staff was ornery because they'll be out of jobs...

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    1. Knowing Sy Greenblum, he probably hasn't even informed his staff.

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  5. Spatula City sounds like it has been going downhill for a good while but seriously dude you gave your wife a kitchen utensil for Christmas??? No way!!! You've got to be kidding me. I think you're playing with us!

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    1. Does it make a difference if it wasn't Christmas, it was anniversary. No? Well, no worries. It's satire.

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  6. LOL. I'm sure this was frustrating for you, but i just have to laugh and shake my head when people conduct business like this. They do all these terrible things--customer service, rudeness, not giving correct info, etc--and then have the nerve to be shocked when their business goes under. *sigh*

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    1. This is certainly something that happens in real life. And you are right, people end up wondering why.

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  7. Ha! I was going to post, "Spatula City is real? I thought Weird Al made it up!"

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    1. As long as you get the joke, I'm happy.

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  8. How totally wacky to open a store that specializes in spatulas! I love it. I don't love your experience with the store, of course, because, wow, that must have been eye-brow-raisingly annoying. I'm just sad I never got to browse their collection of multi-coloured grey spatulas. :)

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    1. I guess grey is a popular colour? Not my favourite, but what are you going to do?

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  9. Hello there.
    (Laughing) just go to Amazon.com. You can find anything there!

    Entrepreneurial Goddess

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    1. I buy a lot of things at amazon.com. And when I can't find what I'm looking for, I'll even order from amazon.co.uk

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