Tuesday, April 7, 2015

F is for Friends

R.a.n.t. of day 04/07/15
F is for friends who do stuff together, U is for you and me. N is for any where, any time at all. Right? Okay, so that spells FUN. But the word friend is right in the phraseology. Look. This truly is an accurate description of what friends are. Someone who will do anything at any time with you, and have fun doing it. It doesn't matter the distance or the last time you did something, they are always there for you. Note: There is a distinction between any where, at any time and every where, at every time. So it's good to have friends. What is there to complain about? Why write a r.a.n.t. about friends?

The problem is, sometimes F is for fire that burns down the whole town, U is for Uranium bombs, N is for No survivors. Oddly, sometimes friends start living by this credo. Everything is drama with them, there is always someone they are burning down and no one is saved from their wrath. It can be daunting. These are the same friends who suddenly, and sometimes for no discernible reason, are no longer your friends. I call these Forgotten Friends. As if they forgot they were your friend. It's an odd phenomenon. Suddenly they are no longer there for you. Texts can go unanswered, phone messages will be ignored. A friend of mine recently returned a text I sent them with, "Who is this?" Did they forget who I was? I was shocked. Did they delete my contact? And why did they do so? I replied, "Sorry, I must have the wrong number". I assumed if they were just joking they would let me know, but I never received a text back. I later learned they were indeed joking. Two weeks later! Wow, that makes you feel special. I have a hard time understanding this. I might need help trying to figure this one out.

So, as a special treat today, I decided to call in my good friend Professor Sanee. For those unaware, she is the J.A.Scott Blog resident psychologist and humour expert. Below is a transcript of our Skype chat from last night.

Jeffrey Scott: Good evening Professor.

Professor Sanee: Good evening Mr. Scott.

JS: Tomorrow I'm preparing an article about friendships and how the loss of one can happen. I'd like to get your thoughts.

PS: Yes, I got your email. I've boiled it down to three main reasons. The first is no communication.

JS: Isn't no communication the result of a loss of friendship? (I was actually trying to make a joke).

PS: It would be more precise to say communication has failed completely with the loss of a friendship. But the loss of a friend starts with poor communication. For whatever reason, two friends sometimes talk less and less with each other. The reason for this can be one of two things. The first is misunderstanding.

JS: Who is that?

PS: Who is who?

JS: Miss Understanding. (I laugh at my own joke. She is not amused. For someone with a degree in humour, she sometimes seems like she has no sense of one.)

PS: Not Miss Understanding. Misunderstanding.

JS: Sorry, I misunderstood you.

PS: Did you want me to continue? We can tell each other jokes for the hour if you'd prefer. I know a great one about a deaf horse and a man in a gorilla suit.

JS: Sorry, please continue.

PS: As we've just demonstrated, sometimes misunderstandings occur. Usually, they are pretty small and petty, but sometimes it not or gets blown out of proportion. Unfortunately, ego's get involved and even if one person is ready to be forgiving, some times both are not. If one friend is unable or unwilling to forgive another for a past discretion, the relationship is tarnished. This results in poor communication, resulting in the loss of a friend.

JS: So what's the second reason for a loss of communication?

PS: Change my dear. People change over time. What is first important in a relationship at a young age, is not always important years later. If you find you and your friend are have less and less in common, you talk less and less. And that leads to....

JS: Poor communication?

PS: Correct. Resulting in?

JS: The loss of a friend.

PS: Now you've got it. So those are the three main reasons I've discovered for the loss of a friend. Change of interests, misunderstanding and poor communication.

JS: Well, I appreciate you taking the time to discuss this matter with me. It's always good to get a professional opinion once in awhile.

PS: I'm always willing to help. Will that be all?

JS: Yes, I think so. Thanks again.

PS: I'll bill you at the standard rate for our usual sessions.

JS: Oh, I thought this one was gratis.

PS: See what I mean? Poor communication. Arrivederci

She signs off Skype and I'm left wondering if she's joking or not. With Professor Sanee, you never know.

Some questions for discussion:
Have you ever lost a friend for some unexplained reason?
Ever have a humorous miscommunication happen?
Do you use Skype or something similar to chat with friends, family or colleagues?

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Professor Sanee resides in Italy
and teaches the course 'the
Ethics of Humour' at I.M.A.
She's also author of the book,
"Why Isn't Anyone Laughing?"


  1. I definitely have some of those friends who only cause drama and problems...and my best friend who used to define F.U.N. is not like that anymore. We've grown apart in the last year. It's sad, but I no longer want anything to do with her. That's just how things go sometimes.

    Great conversation! The biggest misunderstandings I experience happen through text or FB messages. Technology can sure screw up relationships.

    1. It's odd how quickly people can draw apart. Just one little misunderstanding and everything blows up. Then bridges are burned. Yes, texting would be a good T word to rant about in this series. I'll have to consider it.

  2. The great gift of life is friendship, true friends bring out the best is us.

    1. So true. Why is it so hard to find those elusive true friends?

  3. See, I thought it stood for F You Now- which also covers the same concept...

  4. What a perfect word for F. I get by with a little help from my friends. :D

    Scribbles From Jenn - Visiting from the A to Z Challenge

    1. Yes, it's a fine and friendly F word. For sure.

  5. When I had my children I lost all my friends because I was now in a different place to them. I didn't change they didn't change I guess they thought that was it. I've tried to reconnect with those I was closest to but have now drawn a line and moved on it hurt at the time but less so now.

    1. That is another reason people draw apart, their lives are on different levels. That's why when you are single like me, and suddenly all your friends are getting married, you seem to have less and less friends. Or at least, you don't do as much with them as you used to.
      Thanks for stopping by. :)

  6. Hello there.
    When I was growing up, I never had many friends. I think that's why I read so much (still do), so I could disappear in my books. I occasionally use Skype to chat with my sister in the UK.

    Entrepreneurial Goddess

    1. The one good thing computers are still good for. Chatting with friends and family. Too many other web sites out there that are nothing but garbage.