A Special Anniversary R.a.n.t. 2015

R.a.n.t. of week 07/26/15
I can't believe I've been r.a.n.t.ing on my blog for three continuous years straight. Even more to the point, I can't believe I've been seriously writing for over thirty years. What started with me keeping a simple creative writing journal in one of my English classes, has resulted in boxes full of short stories I've written and rewritten, an eight part short story series titled "Writer's Block", almost 200 poems and countless r.a.n.t.s on this very blog. You would think I'd have run out of things to write about, and I admit from time to time I wonder where I'll get more ideas and inspiration from. But they still keep coming. And since I do continue to keep getting inspiration, what better thing could I celebrate? As I did once before, I bring you my anniversary r.a.n.t with the help of a few friends.

Business

"We got hosed!" So say many customers of Telebrands Inc, also know as the "As Seen On TV" people. You may be tempted to purchase a few of their products such as the 'Pocket Hose', 'Lint Lizard' or 'Dump Cakes', but you better be prepared to order more than than what you are bargaining for. The company has recently come under fire for "scamming" customers with shady up-selling deals and inaccurate adverts. I can only image getting a refund would be as much of a nightmare. Honestly, who needs a useless 'Rabbit TV' USB so badly they are willing to risk getting scammed? I for one would be happy to stick with the CBC. Or better yet, read a good book.
Jenni Long
- Thanks for doing the anniversary r.a.n.t. again Jenni. I hope you are satisfied writing the business feature, per your request of last time.



Celebrities

I don't no if I can still be a Ariana Grande fan after I heard this report. If you know me like all my friends know me, you know I love my donuts. But I also love Ariana Grande, almost as much as I love One Direction. But then she licks all the donuts in the store and I'm like OMG! Did she really do that? It's a good thing I did not see her do that or I would have to fight her. Now every time I eat a donut I wonder if someone liked it. And I love my donuts. Did I mention that already? Why did you do that Ariana? Why? Now One Direction is my favorite music group. Expecially Liam Payne. I love you.
Katy
- I like your r.a.n.t. Katy. As always, your writing is extremely humorous. In more than one way.


Music

You know what grinds my gears? When someone says to me “I only listen to (insert music genre)” or “I simply can’t stand (insert music genre)”.
Maybe it’s just me, but I honestly believe that each genre represents a mood. If you are listening to only one music genre, you are not properly expressing your moods. For example, one cannot only listen to hymns and properly express anger or rage. And one simply cannot only listen to death metal and properly express a somber spiritual mood. There has to be balance in your life. Each genre provides the balance that is needed.
People have said “But I don’t like Rap (or Urban Street Music). What the music stands for is just wrong with the foul language and sexual innuendo.” If you actually took the time to listen and pay attention, you would realize that not ALL Rap (or Urban Street Music) is full of swearing and sexual innuendo.
There is good in ALL genres of music. and ALL music genres serve a purpose in life. What purpose or mood does Death Metal serve? As a menopausal female - I can honestly tell you that Death Metal is a wonderful release.
Mary Burris
- Lovely contribution Mary. I guess some people prefer only Highlander Music, "There can be only one." Personally, I listen to all sorts of music. Even country and rap. Though I'll admit, not very often, and usually more 80's style rap.


World News

I know you are not going to believe this, but something good has finally come out of the European Union. It seems by the year 2017, data and roaming charges will be abolished for those of us in the EU travelling to other EU countries. As an author looking to promote my new book, 'Giggle, Gaffaw & Other Curious Words', in other European states, this relaxation of data charges is going to help me keep in touch with friends and family back home, should I need my own humour transfusion to keep going. Of course 2017 is quite a time off and I start my book tour late October. Possibly within Foyles or some other chain. Sneak peak: Chapter One is titled, 'Snark, Snark, the Dog's Do Bark'. Hope to see you readers at one of the signings. More details later.
Arrivederci / Professor Sanee
- Sanee, I appreciate you taking time out of your busy schedule to provide a little something for my anniversary post. Even if it swayed more towards self-promotion. Make sure to give me details on your book tour when it's available and I will share with my readers.


Science

Are you as fascinated with the recent focus of Planet Pluto as I am? Yes, I said it, Pluto is a planet. Say what you want about the reasoning behind calling it a dwarf planet, in my opinion it's still a planet. What's the term - Grandfathered in? And truly, is the term 'dwarf planet' politically correct? Yes, I've read the articles on why it's classification was downsized. Yes, I have read the Science Journals with their facts and figures. I may even agree with a few of them. But when the New Horizons probe was initially launched in January of 2006, Pluto was still a planet. In my opinion, Pluto still IS a planet. But then again, perhaps the New Horizons probe is just a hoax, like the moon landing. Another rant for another time.
Charles Winthrop
- I love topics involving outer space. And yes, I am fascinated about this whole Pluto thing. The moon landing a hoax? LOL I assume you are being facetious.


This draws this years anniversary r.a.n.t. to a conclusion. Thanks to everyone who participated. As for you readers. You have a job to do now. Make sure you let the writers know what a great job they did. Did you find one of their short articles particularly interesting? Let them know in the comments. Did you disagree with their viewpoint on a subject? Let them know too.


* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Jenni Long is a writer and editor
of the Canadian children's magazine
'Fille Forte'. That being said, her
thoughts do not necessarily reflect
those of myself.


* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Professor Sanee resides in Italy
and teaches the course 'the
Ethics of Humour' at I.M.A.
She's also author of the book,
"Why Isn't Anyone Laughing?"



* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Charles Winthrop is a Washington
state writer & D.J. His interests
include music (both modern and
classical) and is a fine art connoisseur.
His articles have appeared in various
magazines including, 'Art Beautiful',
'Music of the Renaissance', and 'The Walla Walla Whistler'.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Mary is a 50 year old cancer survivor
and music lover. She blogs about music
artists and the stories behind the music.
You can find her at:
Jingle Jangle Jungle

G is for Guest Blogging

R.a.n.t. of day 04/08/15

Believe it or not, J.A.Scott is not the first blog I've written for. There is actually a history of how my blog got to where it is now. I mention this because for a time I was writing for two other blogs. One was 'Doctor Who' themed and the other a 'Biggest Loser' theme. Early in 2012 I was invited to guest blog for a friend who wrote for an online Philadelphia newspaper called PhillyBurbs. She also wrote Biggest Loser articles and had a feature called, "Tweets of the Week". The point of the article was to scan twitter for various comments on the current weeks episode of 'Biggest Loser' and chose the ones which best illustrated how the general populace viewed the particular episode. Then snarky replies were provided for the benefit and humour of those reading the article. Jennifer Weilgus, the writer, has a sarcastic wit, much like mine, so I seemed to be the perfect fit. It was a big thrill when she asked if I'd be willing to substitute for her. Though the article on the site has disappeared, I saved a copy of the article I wrote to my own blog. You can find it HERE.

Three years later and I've never guest blogged again, though I wouldn't mind it. Till then, I still love to host my own guest bloggers. I produced an anniversary article two years ago where I invited others to guest blog on one collaborative article. They were each given a small paragraph to write on a specific topic. I.E. Business, Food, Sports or Current affairs. You can find that article HERE. Only one of those guest bloggers has continued to do additional guest work for me. Since then, I've acquired two more who are willing to help out from time to time. Sure, I could skip a week when something comes up in my life and have no time to write. But I hate seeing gaps on my blog, times where nothing is being written. And to be honest, I sometimes make-believe they are staff; hired help. No, they don't get paid. Their reward is knowing something they wrote is being shared on my blog, and I always give them credit. Which to be fair, is all the reward I ever wanted when I guest blogged, once upon a time.

Some questions for discussion:
Would you ever be willing to guest blog?
Have you ever hosted a guest blogger?
Do you believe guest blogging is a good thing or bad thing? Why?



My current 'staff' writers are featured below.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Jenni Long is a writer and editor
of the Canadian children's magazine
'Fille Forte'. That being said, her
thoughts do not necessarily reflect
those of myself.


* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Professor Sanee resides in Italy
and teaches the course 'the
Ethics of Humour' at I.M.A.
She's also author of the book,
"Why Isn't Anyone Laughing?"



* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Charles Winthrop is a Washington
state writer & D.J. His interests
include music (both modern and
classical) and is a fine art connoisseur.
His articles have appeared in various
magazines including, 'Art Beautiful',
'Music of the Renaissance', and 'The Walla Walla Whistler'.

R.S.V.P.

Dinner -
Party -
An evening plan.

Prep the food,
Buy the wine,
Make a list.

Respond -
Please -
R.S.V.P.

Be on time,
Kiss the host,
Associate.

- Jenni Long

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Jenni Long is a writer and editor
of the Canadian children's magazine
'Fille Forte'. That being said, her
thoughts do not necessarily reflect
those of myself.

Guess Who's Coming To Dinner

R.a.n.t. of week 01/11/15

To come or not to come? That is the question for this week. When invited to a friends house for dinner (or other function), do you accept? And if so, what are the reasons for you to not accept? For me, it's usually dependant on whether I have previous plans or not. In some cases, I'm just not in the mood. To some degree, it might have something to do with whose inviting me and who I'll likely encounter there. If it's a very close friend, I know who they associate with and will be more likely to go. If it's a lesser known friend, I may be hesitant. But that doesn't mean I'm going to exclude myself right out. So the next question arises, "Who's all coming?" The problem is, is this a question you want to ask the host? And if so, when? I thought about answering these questions myself, but then I remember I have a friend who writes for a magazine that addresses a lot of these questions for young girls. So I decided to Skype her and ask a few questions. Below is the transcribed conversation we had. It's only been amended slightly.

Jeffrey Scott: "How are things in Canada?"

Jenni Long: "Cold"

JS: "But you're personality warms everyone up, right?"

JL: "Uh huh" (Looks impatient, I decide to get to the point)

JS: "This week I'm writing an article..."

JL: "In your blog."

JS: "..... Yes. I'm writing an article on my blog having to deal with etiquette and I thought this was right up your alley. Do you have your bowling ball handy?" (Failed attempt at a joke. She ignores it, per usual.)

JL: "So what's the question? I don't have a lot of time."

JS: "Is it taboo to ask the host of a party you are invited to, who's coming?"

JL: "It depends. Are they asking before or after they have accepted or declined?"

JS: "Does it make a difference?"

JL: "Yes, as does the reason they are asking. There might be a good reason they are asking. If they want to know who's coming after they have accepted, they may be wanting to know in case they want to car-pool. Or they may want to avoid mentioning the party to others who are not invited. If they ask the question after declining, they may also be wondering so they don't mention the party in front of others. Generally, it's a good idea to let your guests know who's coming, for whatever reason they might have. Does that answer your question?"

JS: "Sort of, but you also said the reason may be different if they are asking before they accept or decline. That's primarily what I'm curious about. Are they basing their decision to come depending on who's coming to the party? And if so, what are your thoughts on that? I'd feel slighted if a person were to decide not to come after they found out who was coming. As if my companionship isn't enough motivation for them to come."

JL: "Again, the person may be asking before they accept fearing someone may be there they don't want to run into. I can understand why you might feel the way you do, but ultimately, they are looking out for themselves and if they decide not to come, they are the ones missing out. So I can understand why they might ask that before they decide to accept or decline. But for the record, and I don't believe I'm going to say this, I agree with you. It's poor taste to ask someone who's coming before they decide to accept. If they feel uncomfortable later, they can politely call and excuse themselves."

JS: "Okay, thanks for answering the question for me."

JL: "Let me know how the blog post goes."

JS: "Feel free to check it out. Remember, you are always welcome to write another guest article for the blog."

JL: "I'll keep that in mind. Well, I gotta go. Have some more editing to do on the latest edition of the magazine. We have a new writer, so that means I have a lot of work to do."

JS: "Well, have fun with that. Talk to you later."

(Insert weird noise Scype makes when someone hangs up on you).

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Jenni Long is a writer and editor
of the Canadian children's magazine
'Fille Forte'. That being said, her
thoughts do not necessarily reflect
those of myself.

Stop Being Insecure

R.a.n.t. of week 08/24/14

I promise, this is the last month for a guest blog. I'll be back to complain once more next month. This time the blog entry will be provided from my long time friend, Jenni Long.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

After talking to a friend a few days ago, I got to realizing he was complaining about a non-issue. Something made up in his mind. But this isn't a problem he suffers from alone. Every day, things transpire in our lives which we worry about. Typically, the worries are unjustifiable. Each month, 'Fille Forte' receives many questions along these lines. I.E., "I think my friend is mad at me, what did I do?", "Why is my friend ignoring me?", and my personal favourite, "I heard my friend went out with another friend, but I wasn't invited. Why?" When you think of it, each question is just a form of insecurity; no real problem exists. When I responded to my friend, I told him the same thing the girls in the magazine are generally told.

1.) The problem is yours alone.
2.) You are causing the bad situation.
3.) It could be harming your friendship.
4.) You should seek to resolve the situation.

Let's take the first question, "I think my friend is mad at me, what did I do?"
"Dear Worried,
How certain are you your friend is mad at you? Did they tell you this specifically? Or are you just assuming? It's very possible you did nothing. In a true friendship, we should never try to read minds. When you start making assumption based on what you think the other person is thinking, you are simply inventing a problem that does not exist. If she is truly your friend, you need to develop trust. Trust she does not get mad for trivialities. Trust that if she is mad, she will let you know when she's ready. And if she is upset about something, she may come to realize it's silly and let it go."

Second question, "Why is my friend ignoring me?"
"Dear Ignored,
Sometimes we may think a person is ignoring us, but in reality they are involved in some other activity. If you send a text message to a friend and they do not respond right away, it does not mean they are ignoring you. Like you, they have other things going on in their lives. It would be hazardous to think you are the centre of your friends world. Perhaps they are dealing with parents, or have had chores assigned to them. Don't be pushy and selfish. Your friend will get back to you when they can. You wouldn't want them to think you are narcissistic. Whatever you do, don't complain about being ignored. This could actually push your friend away and they may truly start to ignore you. If you are having a hard time waiting to hear back from a friend, get involved in something else. Go for a walk, watch a funny film, read a magazine article. It's possible you are just being impatient."

Final question, "I heard my friend went out with another friend, but I wasn't invited. Why?"
"Dear Not Invited,
You are being insecure about something you needn't be. Like you, she has other friends to associate with. If you draw attention to this problem, you are likely to draw attention to your insecurity. Insecurity can be a turn-off, even among friends. It's not possible for you to invite all your friends to absolutely everything you do. The same is true for others. Let your friends have other friends. It doesn't mean they no longer like you. It simply means they decided to spend time with another friend. When you do something with a specific friend, does that mean you've stopped liking your other friends? No. The same is true for everyone."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Jenni Long is a writer and editor
of the Canadian children's magazine
'Fille Forte'. That being said, her
thoughts do not necessarily reflect
those of myself.

Making Plans

R.a.n.t. of week 02/16/14

It's been a rough past week, so I've asked Jenni to fill in for me. Essentially, this Winter is getting tiring and I've been very busy. Perhaps a r.a.n.t. for another time? I'll be back next week. Excuse the photo of the week, Jenni supplied it. Thanks for reading.

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Last Saturday I hosted a dinner party. Or attempted to host a dinner party would be more precise. Twenty-five invites went out in January, thirteen R.S.V.P.ed in the affirmative. Of these, three couples arrived; less than a quarter planned. This left me with various leftovers. The ham & horseradish spiral hors d'oeuvres are now sitting in the basement cooler, I don't eat horshradish. The poutine with oka cheese appetizers still linger, though I've eaten more by myself than I care to admit. The pan seared maple trout? This will likely find a new home in the dustbin, along with the rest of the culinary creations to which I was unable to persuade any of the three couples to part with. The Rossignol? Yes, I'll be holding on to that for a bit. I have several bottles, so it should last till the next time I decide to foolishly plan a dinner party.

A recent article in 'Fille Forte', we talked about proper etiquette when visiting a friend. The magazine has an 8 -12 year old girl demographic and yet it seems more people would benefit from reviewing the simple tips found within. Below are a few excerpts, with additional comments provided by me.

1.) Don't be a Debbi Drop-in.
Make sure the parents are aware of your visit. Just because your friend says it's okay, does not mean it's okay with the parents.
{The same can be said for adults. Just because I am home, does not mean I have free time.}

2.) Make a date. Set a time. Have some fun.
Be smart about plan making. When done wisely, you can schedule time for school-work and play.
{Again, as adults there is a reason scheduling is done. I don't ask you to RSVP for my health.}

3.) Be true to your word.
After awhile, people stop inviting Libby Liar over. Having better plans is no reason to cancel on your friend.
{Unacceptable excuses? 'We couldn't find a baby-sitter.' 'My dog was sick.' Or my personal favourite, 'My data planner crashed and I couldn't remember when the party was.'}

If you hadn't guessed, the three responses above were just a few of the pathetic juvenile replies I received. Is it any wonder I used portions of a children's magazine to give helpful tips? It's time to start acting like adults. And if you don't want to show up to an event I've planned, have the decency to let me know. Don't have your child call me. (Yes, that happened too).

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Jenni Long is a writer and editor
of the Canadian children's magazine
'Fille Forte'. That being said, her
thoughts do not necessarily reflect
those of myself.

Insomnia

R.a.n.t. of week 12/22/13

It's 2:00 AM and unlike the rest of the city, you are wide awake. The sheep have run off, you are out of warm milk and suddenly you notice how loud the bathroom tap drips. I've had this problem the past few nights. There always seems to be some other reason why I can't fall asleep. Either I've had too much coffee in the day (okay, my own fault), or my back is hurting (I may need a new bed), or there is too much on my mind. Trust me, with two teen-age kids in the house, there is a LOT to worry about. So, what's a person to do? I posed this question earlier today and came up with a few suggestions which I'll post in a bit, but first, you may wonder what ways I have found to combat this sort of malady.

Find something to pass the time. In January of this year, I discussed the benefits of Facebook. Certainly, Facebook isn't for everyone, but it has it's uses when one is bored, or needs to find something tiring to do. Spend a few minutes on one of the Facebook games and you'll be sure to start sawing logs soon enough. Not a fan of playing games online? There is always the option of scrolling Facebook and replying to updates others have left. Or peruse the many photos and articles your friends have shared with everyone.
Click HERE to recall this rant.

Do a bit of studying. March was when I seriously started dedicating myself to learning a foreign language. So lately my evenings have been spend practising reading the Karen Sgaw language which is written in a different script than what most Westerners are used to. By the time I'm done with a full page, I'm yawning and getting restless. Perhaps doing something like learning a foreign language may be the thing to do when you are sitting wide awake early in the morning. At least it's a consideration.
Click HERE to recall this rant.

Facebooking and learning something new not your style? Perhaps you can spend the wee hours preparing grocery lists and making sure you have all items needed for whatever intended recipe you plan to prepare for the week. I just ask one simple favour. How about finding a recipe or two that does not include cooking vegetables? In April I was relating how much I hated onions, really cooking vegetables in general, but most specifically onions. Go on, give it a try. It's early morning, you are battling insomnia, certainly you can be creative enough to devise some type of dish that does not require nasty onions or fungus? If you are unsure how your cooking will be without the use of such items, I'll happily come along and sample for you.
Click HERE to recall this rant.

Sometimes when I'm awake at night I use music to change my mood. Soft music can do wonders for a restless spirit. My particular favourite type of music when trying to fall asleep is soothing jazz, classical, or even light contemporary. The problem with light contemporary, though, at times radio stations play music with a faster beat to it, which really doesn't lull one to sleep. More often, it tends to make a person want to get up and dance. One such song I heard played on a soft rock station on evening in June dealt with the year 1985. True, I've always been pre-occupied with that very year so I took a liking to it. So much in fact, I mocked it in one of my weekly rants. Essentially I took each line of the song and moulding it to fit my own particular lifestyle.
Click HERE to recall this rant.

One of the last things I can suggest is a light snack to help the body along it's journey towards slumber. I'm not talking about running to Taco Bell or throwing a pizza in the oven. After all the fuss of running around outside or in the kitchen, you'll be more likely to keep awake instead of falling back to sleep. Go with something simple, a piece of cheese, a chicken leg, maybe even a balogna sandwich. Something simple and easy you can enjoy all to yourself. Speaking of dining alone, I talked about this very subject back in September. Granted, it was more about dining out alone at restaurants, but I think the point is taken. Sometimes it's good to dine alone, sometimes - not.
Click HERE to recall this rant.

Finally, the last thing I've found to do when I'm wide awake, is utilize the quiet time to get some writing done. Like a few of the suggestions given above, I know this isn't for everyone, but it does work for me and I know a few other people this works for too. Jenni, one of my literary friends, has expressed to me how insomnia is even a blessing for her when she's trying to get an article finished for her magazine. As for Jenni, she came in handy several weeks ago in November when I decided to write a blog article on Ghost-writing. I secretly had her write the intro for my rant of the week, though I revealed it was her writing it, in the next paragraph. So what about you?
Click HERE to recall this rant.


What do you find to do when suffering insomnia? Do you or will you utilize one of the suggestions above? Or maybe you have something else that helps. As mentioned before, here are a few suggestions from what other people this morning said about the topic.

Terry - I've memorized all 66 books of the bible... I go over them in order in my head and that helps.

Courtney - I just got this really good idea for a great story...at 1:57am and has kept me up, now 3:09am.

Mondo - When I start to get some good sleep, a co-worker would start spraying me with water.

Jenni Long - I go over Jeffrey's blog and count all the errors and typos.

Professor Sanee - When I can't sleep, I go out for a drive.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Jenni Long is a writer and editor
of the Canadian children's magazine
'Fille Forte'. That being said, her
thoughts do not necessarily reflect
those of myself.
____________________________________________ 

Professor Sanee resides in Italy and
teaches the course 'the Ethics of
Humour' at I.M.A. She's also author of
the book, "Why Isn't Anyone Laughing?"

How To Get Free Gas

R.a.n.t. of week 12/15/13

Gas prices seem to be lower now than they have in months. But I recently found a sure way to get even cheaper gas. So cheap, in fact, they are practically giving it away. Just follow the 15 easy steps below.

As an additional bonus, my good friend Jenni Long has infused her own comments after I mistakenly showed her this weeks r.a.n.t. while preparing it for publishing. Of course, she doesn't know I have decided to include her smart alec responses. Well, she will NOW!

1.) Visit new gas station.
Jenni Long - It does NOT have to be a new gas station.

2.) Notice credit card reader not working.
JL - NOT a step one takes, it's simply an observation.

3.) Go inside and prepay $10.00 worth of gas. Maybe buy some Ding-Dongs.
JL - We ALL have to do this now, nothing outstanding. And yes, I have already identified the ding-dong.

4.) Go back outside to pump gas.
JL - YAWN, really a step?

5.) Be told you are at a pre-pay pump and need to come inside.
JL - It's NEVER a step when someone else does the action.

6.) Go back inside and show your receipt so they activate the pump.
JL - By my count, this is only the THIRD step.

7.) Have the clerk only release the pump so you can pump gas.
JL - Once again, someone else is.... SIGH, never mind.

8.) Leave gas unattended as you work on windows.
JL - Has nothing to do with the involvement of free gas. Maybe you could COMBINE "steps" eight & nine.

9.) Suddenly notice prepay pump has not stopped and has continued to fill up tank.
JL - Personally, I feel this is YOUR fault.

10.) Worried and upset because you only have $10.00 to spend on gas, reluctantly go inside to pay the difference.
JL - You won't believe I'm going to say this, but I commend you for THIS step.

11.) Explain to the clerk you are inside to pay for the gas that went over your pre-pay selection.
JL - Hopefully you explained you were being inattentive and this is all YOUR fault.

12.) Have clerk stand dumb-struck, scratching her head for a minute trying to figure out what happened.
JL - I give up. Yes, sure. This is a step YOU do.

13.) Have clerk call over manager who only half-understands the problem and quickly voids the transaction when he misunderstands.
JL - And of course you immediately corrected the manager. Right, RIGHT?

14.) Realizing he just voided a live transaction, simply tells you, "Have a good day. Don't worry about the gas overage."
JL - Hmmmmm.

15.) Later in the day, check online bank and despite what the receipt shows, notice they only charged you for the ding-dong purchased. Yep, make sure the Ding Dongs are paid for!
JL - Isn't this kind of DISHONEST? Just asking......?

No Jenni, I don't consider this dishonest. I did everything in my power to pay for the gas. That is everything short of getting on my hands and knees begging the manager to take my money.
But I appreciate your two pence worth.
* Please note, words in ALL CAPS were capitalized by me for emphasis.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Jenni Long is a writer and editor
of the Canadian children's magazine
'Fille Forte'. That being said, her
thoughts do not necessarily reflect
those of myself.

Ghost Writing

R.a.n.t. of week 11/10/13

As many of you know, I'm a very busy man. When I'm not working on some sort of literary piece, be it prose or poem, I'm likely engaged in one of my many other interests. Currently, this list includes learning the Sgaw language, photography, watching Doctor Who, and complaining about the weather (gratuitous joke). Mix all that together with my regular daily regimen, and I suddenly become overwhelmed. What's a poor slob like myself supposed to do? The same thing any sub-par, hack writer does, hire a ghost-writer. I'd like to assume everyone knows what a ghost-writer is, but for the laymen, I'll explain. A ghost-writer is someone whom writes for another person and generally does not get credit. But today, having nothing better to do, I decided to write about a ghost-writer I've used in the past. Her name is Jenni Long and she's the most talented and influential writer I know. She's currently employed by a well known local newspaper which shall, for the time being, remain nameless.

Okay, confession time. The paragraph above was actually written by my ghost-writer. I thought today it would be interesting if I introduced her, but turn the tables slightly. One reason I did this was to provide an example of what a ghost-writer can actually do. So today I asked if she would ghost-write a short simple paragraph of myself introducing her. Besides a few things I normally would have changed, I doubt anyone would have figured out it was being written by someone else. So what else has she written for me? All I'm prepared to say at the moment is she helped out on my anniversary blog post and has written one more of my entries since then. But I won't say which one, see if you can figure it out. So why the ghost-writer? Jenni's explanation wasn't entirely accurate. To be honest, it was a week we both were involved with a blog exchange. So I actually ghost-wrote for her on one of her online articles. How cool is that?

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Jenni Long is a writer and editor
of the Canadian children's magazine
'Fille Forte'. That being said, her
thoughts do not necessarily reflect
those of myself.

An Anniversary R.a.n.t. Special

R.a.n.t. of week 07/28/13
One year ago, I started ranting about ants invading my house. It's something I've done before, r.a.n.t.ing I mean. Back in 2004 I had a personal website I maintained which came with a discussion group. On a weekly basis, I would find something to complain about, to inspire people talking. It lasted for about four months till I started running out of time and forgetting about it. In 2008 I started my blog and continued with my r.a.n.t.'s where I left off, but this time it only lasted five weeks. Finally, in 2012, I began to r.a.n.t. once more. Here it is a year later and I'm still ranting. A week ago, I asked several people if they'd be interested in helping me do an anniversary r.a.n.t and a few agreed. I asked them to be short, light and as humorous as they could possibly be. I would have done all these topics myself, but sometimes it's nice to get a fresh perspective from someone else. Plus, with such a variety of topics, I'm afraid I'd get writers block before to long.


Business

Thanks for the opportunity to write something. Sorry it took me so long to get back to you, but it hit me this morning what I can write about. Just heard the local coffee house Alterra is changing it's name. It's now going to be called Colectivo Coffee. What? So ridiculous. What was wrong with the Alterra name? And they sold the name to another company. Now I'll be confused when I see the Alterra name. Is it the coffee, or the coffee cafe? What's in a name? Such upsetting news, and before I've even had my morning coffee.
By, Erick / Visit my blog at erickthered.blogspot.com
- I couldn't agree more. (Jeffrey Scott)


Food

They are back! Yes, Twinkies are back. I love these golden baked goods. So tasty and fun. What were they thinking not selling them anymore. Everyone loves the Twinkies and thats why they ahd to bring them back. So in a way, us the buyers win. They thought they could deprive us. #Fail. One of the biggest times I ever got in trouble was when my mother came back from the store and I found the box of Twinkies. I remember taking them into the basement and eating them all. I was maybe five. When my mom looked for them I said I didn't no where they were so she thoguht the store forgot to put them in the bags. I was dumb though, and crusehd the box up and stuffed it under the dryer. About two years later we got a new drier and my dad found the empty box. By that time I forgot I put them they're.

- I appreciate the humorous story Katy.


Sports

Dude, check it. The Milwaukee Brewers are lame, and everyone knows it. But not as lame as Ryan Braun having to forfeit the rest of the season. The rest of the season? And just because he wanted to help out his team and his career? "But his performance was enhanced" (I hear you whine). Suck it up, buttercup! That's such a bad thing? I can certainly see the tragedy in that.... NOT! Complaining that PED's are a disadvantage to other players is like complaining my wife's coupons are a disadvantage to other shoppers. She uses what resources are available to her advantage, so did Braun. I'm no Braun fan by any stretch of the imagination, but I'll call a duck a duck. I could go on, but I won't. I've got tickets to see the Detroit Tiger's tonight. Now that's a ball team!


- Your fascination with the Tigers baffles me Kenny. But I'm not really in a good position to dispute that at this time. LOL Go Brewers!


World News

Kate Middleton,
Most people are so upset with all the press Kate Middleton is getting lately regarding the birth of her baby. My complaint is about all THOSE people. If you don't like the news, shut it off. Having a baby is a wonderful blessing, and Kate is such a beautiful mother. It's not beneath me to say I'm a little jealous. And how adorable is George Alexander Louis. How could you not fall in love with that precious bundle of joy. Kate, you really have it all; you are gorgeous, have a great fashion sense, a wonderful husband and the cutest baby ever. What more could a girl ask for?
With love,
Vicki

- You know what they say, haters are gonna hate. Nice job Vicki.


Rebuttal
My rant is a rebuttal to something you wrote last year - describing feelings of "being invisible". I wonder if it's ever dawned on you, you are likely the biggest part of the problem. Being quiet and shy isn't an excuse. Get over it and approach people. How can you complain about others doing this to you, if you do this to them? And explaining your problems using Doctor Who? Yawn, give it a rest. Maybe the next time you do this, you can give ME the 'business' section. I'd cover something more informative than a simple name change.
Jenni Long.
- Thanks for the kind thoughts Jen. I can always rely on you to call me out. You certainly like to complain more than I do. I don't know why you don't have your own r.a.n.t. blog.


This anniversary r.a.n.t has come to it's conclusion. Lately, it's been hard when trying to help others celebrate their own anniversaries, when I don't currently have anything to celebrate myself..So now, in a way, I have. Maybe it won't be so bad for me any more.

Once again, thanks to everyone who contributed something! It means a lot. Even if I don't 100% agree with all of your views. I'm looking at you Jen!

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Jenni Long is a writer and editor
of the Canadian children's magazine
'Fille Forte'. That being said, her
thoughts do not necessarily reflect
those of myself.