There Can Be Only One

R.a.n.t. of month March 2016 (Additional)

Once again, March Madness is upon us. And once again, I have no interest in who's playing or who's winning. But that's not going to stop my third annual NCAA Sweet 16 Basketball Breakdown. If you've read my picks in the past, you'll probably already be aware I know next to nothing about basketball "stats or statistics" (As Michael Scott would say). My biggest gripe in the past is being unsure how people can actually fill out a bracket and feel confident in their picks. I know nothing about the teams playing and last year I had three teams in the final four. I still ultimately lost. But perhaps I'll do better this year. Or perhaps you'll be the one mad at me, since I am making a mockery of the whole bracket picks, or whatever it's called. Anyway, enough chatter, it's time for me to decide who I think will advance and why.

Sweet 16
Maryland Terrapins vs. Kansas Jayhawks- Winner: Jayhawks. Not only do they have a jazzier looking Heckle and Jeckle mascot, but a Terrapin is a turtle. Is it not? Come one Maryland! Don't make this so easy for me.

Miami Hurricanes vs. Villanova Wildcats - Winner: Wildcats. My old High School mascot was also the Wildcats, so how could I choose anything else? Especially in the first round? The Hurricanes will most likely blow away or peter out before they hit land.

Duke Blue Devils vs. Oregon Ducks - Winner: Blue Devils. I once had a dream about a weird blue devil like creature. I never knew where that dream came from. Perhaps I had seen this mascot as a child and it scared me. But if it scared me, it's sure to scare a duck.

Texas A&M Aggies vs.  Oklahoma Sooners - Winner: Sooners. When I was a child, we used to play marbles on the playground all the time. My favourites were the aggies, but then a bully wanted them so he beat me up and took them from me. So Aggies have bad memories for me.

Indiana Hoosiers vs. North Carolina Tar Heels - Winner: Tar Heels. I love the colour blue and their logo is blue. That's it. So sue me.

Wisconsin Badgers vs. Notre Dame Fighting Irish - Winner: Badgers. Come on, I live in Wisconsin. Why wouldn't I pick my home state team? Sure, the Fighting Irish are tough, but you don't want to back a Badger into a corner. Trust me.

Iowa State Cyclones vs. Virginia Cavaliers - Winner: Cyclones. You can't truly fight against the forces of nature. Would that apply to Basketball teams as well? I'm not sure, but better to be safe than sorry.

Gonzaga Bulldogs vs. Syracuse Orange  - Winner: Bulldogs. I was attacked by a bulldog, it was vicious and I hated it. I also had an orange soda once. It wasn't the best tasting, but at least it wasn't vicious.



Elite 8
Kansas Jayhawks vs. Villanova Wildcats -Winner: Kansas Jayhawks. Last round I picked the Wildcats because they reminded me of my High School team. But what High School team can rival a College team?

Duke Blue Devils vs. Oklahoma Sooners - Winner: Duke Blue Devils. I'm about to head for the evening. If I don't want that Blue Devil to be in my dreams again. I should probably choose them to win this round. Perhaps I'll finish this in the morning.

North Carolina Tar Heels vs. Wisconsin Badgers - Winner: North Carolina Tar Heels. I was informed that it is bad form to choose your favourite team to win. Because it can jinx their playing. I can certainly see that point. If I were to pick Badgers, then they would all suddenly play horribly. Yep, that makes perfect sense to me.

Iowa State Cyclones vs. Gonzaga Bulldogs - Winner: Gonzaga Bulldogs. I've never had to live through a cyclone, but I have been attacked by a bulldog. Oh right, I mentioned that before, didn't I? Well, I don't think I told you I was attacked by a dog twice in my life. So the reasoning still holds for me.


Final 4
Kansas Jayhawks vs. Duke Blue Devils - Winner: Kansas Jayhawks. Birds are amazing creatures. Sure, I could be threatened in my dreams by the blue devil mascot, but I could also be threatened in real life with a massive amount of birds. It's happened before! Or was that just a film? 
North Carolina Tar Heels vs. Gonzaga Bulldogs - Winner: North Carolina Tar Heels. I said I was only attacked by a dog two times. After that, perhaps the dog gave up the fight. Much like how this battle will likely turn out.

Championship Game
Kansas Jayhawks vs. North Carolina Tar Heels - Winner: Kansas Jayhawks. The court will be all tarred up from those tarheels, which will slow everyone down. Or not. The Jayhawks are birds and can just fly around the court. Wait! Why do I keep confusing he mascots with the actual players? I don't know, I should probably not do that. It's really a stupid way to pick a team. But, it's late and I've made my picks already. I'm not going to change them.

Lambeau Field Green Bay

This weeks photo collection is from when I was drove to Egg Harbor a month ago. I decided to stop in Green Bay and visit Lambeau Field for my father. My dad was a big Packer fan. Ironically enough, some of my fondest memories of him were watching the Packers play and listening to him shout at the TV, usually at our own team. When I was growing up, the Packers were not as good as they are now. My dad gave me my first beer when I was 16 watching the football game. I was watching the game with him and joked, "Can I have a beer too?" He replied, "If you want." I drank it, but wasn't very fond of it. I didn't really drink beer again till I moved out years later. The day my dad died of cancer, he watched the Packers play. He even managed a cheer for the team when they were winning. He passed away a fe hours later. And yet, even though he was such a big fan, he never made it to an actual game in the stadium. So you can imagine, I had many thoughts of my dad as I visited Lambeau Field. I dedicate this blog post to my father. My favourite Packer fan.

The entrance to Lambeau Field

The building is absolutely gorgeous.

"Curly" Lambeau, founder of the Packers.

Vince Lombardi, head couch of the Packers.
He couched the Packers, winning the first two
 Super Bowls. Name sake of the Lombardi trophy.

During the tour we are given a Packer history lesson on the
origin of the team and and how it came to be publicly owned.

Some organizations can rent this room for social events
during Packer games. If you rent this, please invite me.

A few Packer mementos.

Vince Lombardi trophy

A view of Lambeau from the upper levels.

Another view of the field.

A view of the Ray Nitschke training facility.
Practice is never held on Lambeau Field.

A View of the large screen, retirees are shown below.
Soon Favre will be added to the list.

One of my favourite parts of the tour, we are taken out to the field
through the same tunnel the Packers use to take the field.

A view of the field from ground level.
I felt like running across the field, but I didn't.

I took this photo for my dad who always used to joke around
and perform Lite Beer commercials for his friends.
"Is Uecker around?" was his favourite catch phrases.

Mad As A Hatter

R.a.n.t. of week 03/22/15

It's March, I'm mad. You know what that means don't you? That's right. It's time for the official Jeffrey Scott March Madness NCAA bracket selection. As you'll recall from last year, I'm not a basketball person. In fact, I probably know less about college basketball than I do about cosmic string theories. Which admittedly, is not much. From what I gather, they are theories, and quite possibly strings in space. Correct? No? Well, now you've got a good idea how well I know college basketball. So why do I do it? Why do I fill out a sweet 16 bracket? Why does anyone climb mountains? Because they can. And because it's fun. Or at least it's something better to do than poke a sharp stick in my eye. Which is something a person who's mad as a hatter might be prone to do. Gotta love mercury sickness. So where was I? Oh, that's right. March madness and my NCAA bracket. Below is how I predict the rest of the tournament will go. My method of selection can't be any worse than anyone else, can it?

Sweet 16
West Virginia vs. Kentucky - Winner, West Virginia because their logo kind of looks like the Wonder Woman symbol. And I'm a big comic book fan. (Like you couldn't figure that out already).
Wichita St. vs. Notre Dame - Winner, Notre Dame because their mascot looks like he's fighting mad. And being mad is sort of the theme this week. Isn't it?
North Caroline vs. Wisconsin - Winner, Wisconsin because there's $350,000 buried under the Big W. Or so I"m told in 'It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World. That's MAD times 4.
Xavier vs. Arizona - Winner, Xavier because last year I picked Arizona and they didn't win, I would be mad to pick them again.
N.C. State vs. Louisville - Winner, Louisville because the Cardinal is a mad (or angry) bird. (Get it)?
Michigan St. vs. Oklahoma - Winner, Michigan St. because the name Sooners is such a ridiculous name it makes me mad.
Utah vs. Duke - Winner, Duke because the mascot reminds me of a weird dream I once had.
UCLA vs. Gonzaga - Winner, Gonzaga. Mostly because it's fun to say and all my friends think I"m not a fan of dogs.

Elite 8
West Virginia vs. Notre Dame - Winner, West Virginia because if Wonder Woman were real she'd disapprove of the word 'dame'. Never call chicks, dames.
Wisconsin vs. Xavier - Winner, Wisconsin because I still haven't found that money and need them to stick around till I can find it under that Big W. Okay, it's a running gag, don't be mad.
Louisville vs Michigan St. - Winner, Michigan because when I think of Sparta, I think of madness. And this is madness, after all.
Duke vs. Gonzaga - Winner, Duke because I'm not a dog person. So yes, my friends are right.

Final 4
West Virginia vs. Wisconsin - Winner, Wisconsin because truthfully Wonder Woman isn't real and she really isn't playing for West Virginia. However Wisconsin is real and I believe so is the Big W.
Michigan vs. Duke - Winner, Michigan because I can't think of any more jokes for either. Einney Meinney, Meinney, Mo!

Championship Game
Wisconsin vs. Michigan - Winner, Michigan because I've always heard you are supposed to bet against your team. Because if you bet for them, they will certainly lose. And though I'm not putting any money on this game, I always root for the home team. Errrrr, but not this time, because they are going to lose. Know what I mean? They will definitely lose. Okay? Got it? Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, know what I mean?

Take Me Out To The Ball Game

R.a.n.t. of week 05/11/14

I could sit at home and watch a baseball game on TV. Sit in the comfort of my own recliner with perhaps Taco Bell nachos, a bag of peanuts purchased from the local store and an ice cold Guinness, what could be finer? But what about seeing the game live? That would be finer. Being in the crowd when a home-run is hit! That would be finer. The fresh air, the excitement, going with a group of friends, a chance to sing 'Roll Out the Barrel', these are all great reasons to go to a game. So why don't I go more often? Typically I go to one or two games a year and that's about it. The biggest reason is I simply can't afford it.

Prices - At the Game:
Ticket - $ 25.00
Parking - $ 10.00
2 Mediocre Beers - $ 16.00
2 Hot Dogs - $ 9.00
Nachos - $ 5.50
Total - $ 65.50

That's a pricey trip to the ball field! Sure, the price may fluctuate depending on whatever professional park you go to, and assuming during the course of three hours you consume the food listed. But remember, these prices are for one person alone. Add children, add more money. Even if you cut back by what you take into the park, kids may hound you for mementos of the day. Key chains, mascot figurines, T-shirts, jerseys, whatever. So yes, the price may change drastically. But the point is......
Adjusted price - $ 50.00 to $150.00

Prices - At home:
Ticket - Free
Parking - Free
2 Quality Beers - $ 4.50 (average price)
2 Hot Dogs - $ 2.00
Nachos - $ 3.50 (from Taco Bell)
Total - $ 10.00

And if you are like me, you are not watching the game alone. I tend to invite my friends over when I want to watch a game. If you have friends like my friends, one may bring over a couple six packs for everyone to share, another may bring a large bag of peanuts and just about everyone chips in for beer. Sometimes I end up with more beer in my fridge than what I began with, and left over pizza or chips. I almost make money hosting my own ball game.
Adjusted price - $ Free to free with more beer in my fridge.

Madness in March

R.a.n.t. for week of 03/23/14

Lately, everyone seems to be talking basketball. Radio morning DJ's, friends, sports reporters, bartenders. That's everyone, right? However I have to make a confession, and if anyone out there knows me at all, will not be surprised by the following revelation. I'm not much into basketball. To be honest, all I know about our local team is they are called the Bucks and don't win very often. As for who plays on the team, not sure I could name a single player. And that's professional basketball. This March Madness is all about college basketball. With so many colleges, and so many people who apparently love basketball, I have no idea how they devise standings for 64 slots. The question continually being asked is, 'how are your brackets'? I've never taken the time to fill out a bracket. I have no idea how to rate teams of ball players from colleges in my own state, let alone from other states. But if you really want to see a bracket filled out by me, okay. But how I decide who wins will be completely different from how most other people will rate the teams. But at the end of the championship, will I have done any worse than anyone else?

Sweet 16
Florida vs UCLA - Winner, Florida because the alligator mascot looks cool.
Dayton vs Stanford - Winner, Stanford because the S reminds me of Superman.
Virginia vs Michigan St. - Winner, Virginia because I used to have a friend named Virginia.
Iowa St. vs Connecticut - Winner, Connecticut because huskies are cool.
Arizona vs SDSU - Loser, Sdsu. Mostly 'cause it sounds like a sneeze. What is a sdsu anyway?
Baylor vs Wisconsin - Loser, Baylor. Sounds like a bear needing aspirin.
Kentucky vs Louisville - Loser, Louisville. It sounds like a bat, and aren't Cardinals baseball?
Tennessee vs Michigan - Loser, Michigan. Pick 'M' to lose since it'll irritate one of my friends.

Elite 8
Florida vs Stanford - Alligator or Superman? Easy, Stanford wins.
Virginia vs Connecticut - Old friend or a dog? Always friend, Virginia wins.
Arizona vs Wisconsin - As much as I love Wisconsin, I love friends more, Arizona wins.
Kentucky vs Tennessee - Just had a shot of Jack Daniels, so Tennessee wins.

Final 4
Stanford vs Virginia - Virginia will win. She knows how to use Kryptonite.
Arizona vs Tennessee - Tennessee will win. They don't drink and Arizona will get hooched up.

Championship Game
The same tactic Virginia used last time (Kryptonite) won't work against Tennessee. But Virginia won't fall for the same trick Tennessee last used either (Jack Daniels). It'll come down to the wire, but I think Virginia will be victorious. At least they won the coin toss I just performed.

Super Bowl 48 Review

R.a.n.t. of week 02/02/14

Every year there is one day in particular we all look forward too. Yes, that's right: Groundhog Day! But on this particular Groundhog Day there was a special event taking place. This year, Super Bowl 48 was between the Seattle Seahawks and the Denver Broncos. Did you watch this exciting game? If you are like me, you got together with friends, food, beer, excitement, disappointment and above all, entertainment. But if you are not like me, then perhaps the Super Bowl came and went and you are none-the-wiser. So for those select few, I've decided to give my in-depth review of all that transpired during 2014 Super Bowl XLVIII. Below are all the hight-lights. But first a few words from our sponsors.

The Top 10+ Super Bowl Commercials

Doritos - Time Machine


Volkswagon - Getting Wings


Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee


Wonderful Pistachios - Stephen Colbert


Audi - Doberhuahua


Radio Shack - Flashback 80's


Dannon Oikos - Full House


Budweiser - Puppy Adoption


Toyota - Terry Crews & The Muppets


Sodastream - Scarlet Johansson


Honda - Bruce Willis Hug Fest


Coca-Cola - Going All the Way


T-Mobile - Tim Tebow / No Contract


Transformers Movie Preview



Now that the commercials are out of the way, let's get back to the Super Bowl 48 Review.
First Quarter:
Seattle Scores a Safety
Seattle Scores a Field Goal
Seattle Scores a Field Goal
End of First Quarter
Seattle 8 / Denver 0

Second Quarter:
Seattle Scores a Touchdown
Seattle Scores a Touchdown
End of Half
Seattle 22 / Denver 0

Half time show consisted of Red Hot Chili Peppers and Bruno Mars

Third Quarter:
Seattle Scores a Touchdown
Seattle Scores a Touchdown
Denver Scores a Touchdown and 2 point conversion
End of Third Quarter
Seattle 36 / Denver 8

Fourth Quarter:
Seattle Scores a Touchdown
End of Game
Seattle Wins 43 - 8

Done With American Football

R.a.n.t. of week 01/05/14

"Well, there's always next year." That's what we're suppose to say when our favourite sports team has finished their season, not coming out on top. Right? Currently, that's what I'm saying about my own favourite sports team, the Green Bay Packers. However, contrary to what the title of this rant says, I'm not done watching football games forever. Let's just say I'm done for this season.

There certainly are a few reasons I could be done with American Football. First, it's so shocking to see how much these players get paid. Millions of dollars just to play a few games a year. Of course, there is more involved than just that, but when you know other people work so hard in the daily grind for pennies on their dollar, it's a little discouraging.

With the salaries so high, there is a lot of advertising that needs to be done. Adverts are seen everywhere during the game; clothes, sidelines, equipment, stadium, and of course the commercials. At least in the million and a half commercials run during the game, there are many which are humorous, so that's okay. Probably the best commercials are the ones which makes us laugh so much we forget what they were hawking in the first place. Good for me, any way, maybe not for the product. But what do I know?

One of the other things that gets me disgruntled about watching football are the over enthusiasts. The ones who know every stat and figure from every team. Okay, that's a little unfair, it doesn't offend me so much. Talk to me about Doctor Who and I could probably give you a trivia list on each episode. But it's the ones who are so overly adamant about their football team, they belittle anyone who disagrees with their choice. It goes beyond just rooting for their team, it includes the onslaught of taunts when any team opposite of their own plays a bad game. As I said before, I love watching my Packer games, but as for any other team, I could care less if they win or lose. Unless of course it affects how my team could finish in play-offs.

The 49rs can play a fantastic game or they can go suck an egg. The Steelers too can play well or go suck their thumbs. The Lions & Vikings & Bears (oh my!) can just suck for all I care. At least you won't find me rubbing it in the face of their fans. They have their team, I have mine.

True, I know it's all in good fun and I usually let the Team insulting cartoons and posts roll off my back, yet in a way, it hurts. But for a specific reason. My dad was a big Packer fan. And on the day he died, he watched his final Packer game and mustered a "Go, Go, Go" cheer for them. He barely had strength to talk any more, but he still cheered. So every game I watch, I think of my dad. He may be done watching American Football, but for me, there is always next year to cheer for his team.

A Poets Football Game

R.a.n.t. of week 12/02/12

This weekend I was invited to a "flag" football game. Now of all sports, American football happens to be my favourite (unless darts counts). Some might think I'd be more interested in European football, but I'm not very agile on my feet and can't really run up and down the field like I used to. A few months ago we played Football (Soccer), and I really tired myself out (though I probably wouldn't have played if I wasn't trying to impress a girl). Truly, I need to lose weight; okay, another r.a.n.t. for another time. One of the main reasons I came to this game was for my son. Though there were many younger players for which we were playing flag football, us older ones were not always so passive when we went up against each other. I somehow managed to injure a few of my ribs and my arms and legs are extremely sore today. But, I wouldn't take the pain away (as long as they heal), for anything. I wear these pains as trophies, in honour and glory, satisfied knowing I went out there and played despite my initial misgivings.

What misgivings? Well, as indicated above, I'm not exactly the athletic type. And even if I were more fit, the drive to play somewhat alludes me. I was picked last in the 'school-yard pick-em' and the reason showed several times as I was playing, quite probably looking lost. At one point I remember thinking to myself, "I'm a poet, not a footballer". So that got me thinking. Can a poet be an athlete? I started to imagine a team playing football, comprised of poets. Here's how the game went in my mind:

* * * * *

"Hello, I'm Alex Flanagan. I'll be your sideline reporter for this first ever, poets football game. The players are on the field and the game is about to commence. Some might wonder why the game is so late at night. It seems most of the poets felt it was more 'poetic' this way. Number 12, Robert Browning, suggested this 'meeting at night'. Kick-off is about to begin and I'm joined by Pam Oliver who'll be interviewing a few of the players. Pam, I understand you are with Lewis Carroll, this teams quarterback."

"Yes Alex, Now Lewis, what do you feel are your teams chances of winning this game?"
"Twas brillig, and the slithy toves."
"I've forgotten, he doesn't usually make much sense. Back to you Alex."

"The game is now under-way and the poets have received the ball first. John Keats is returning the ball, wait, what's he doing? He's stopped and staring ahead, he seems to be paralysed in place, pointing down field and mumbling. Can we hear what he's saying?"
"Tiger, Tiger burning bright!"
"He's taken down at the 15! This is not good field position for the poets. It's first down and looks like they are going to try a run play. It's handed off to Robert Frost who, yes he's actually made a first down. The defence assumed he was running a different route, but he tricked them all and took the one less traveled by. They are now in better field position, but can they do anything again? Lewis Carroll is hiking the ball."
"One two! One Two! And Through and Through, hike!"
"It's going to be a pass play. Stephen Crane is running down field as though he's pursuing the horizon. William Wordsworth is running all about the field. I'm not sure he knows what he's doing. He seems to be fluttering and dancing in the breeze. Here's the throw, it's to W.H.Davies but he's just standing there. He could have caught the ball but he didn't even try. He's now being ejected from the game. Pam, can you get a comment from him?"

"Davies, what happened out there?"
"What is life if full of care, we have no time to stand and stare."
"Thanks for that incite. Alex, back to you."

"Thanks Pam. The team is now sending in Emily Dickenson. Earlier, she felt the game was going to be a breeze and said, 'success is counted sweetest'. Seems she's very hopeful. It's second down and they are going for another run play. It's handed to Emily but she's turned from the defender and has started to run backwards. Oh no, she is taken down for a loss of ten yards. I think we can hear her on the field."
"How DREARY to be somebody!"
"She seems to be taking this very hard. It's third down now and they need to make a conversion here. But can they do it? Lewis Carroll hikes the ball again."
"Callooh! Callay! Hike!"
"The ball is passed to A.E.Houseman, he's running for the first down but.... oh no. He's taken down and it doesn't look like he's getting back up. He took a hard hit, I'm not sure he's going to be back in the game either. Pam, you are right there, how bad does it look."

"Alex, he seems to have taken quite a hit. He's slowly getting to his feet. The crowd is cheering, but he's hobbling to the sideline. Houseman, are you okay?"
"Miles around they'll say that I am quite myself again."
"There you have it, Houseman seems to think he'll be okay."

"It's now fourth down so the poets will have to kick the ball away. Edgar Allan Poe is kicking the ball and it's received by the other team. They are running down the field but no one is stopping them. Edgar Allan Poe is actually running off the field yelling 'Nevermore'. He's being followed by the rest of the poets. Why are they running off the field? Pam, Stephen ran past you. What was he shouting?"

"Incredibly Alex, he seems despondent. As do the rest of the poets. 'It is futile' he cried and ran on. It seems this poets football game has come to an early close. Back to you."

"I guess that just about does it for the first annual poets football game. It seems there will be no joy in Mudville tonight. On behalf of myself and Pam Oliver, have a good night."

Milwaukee Brewers Vs. New York Mets - 16, September 2012

It was a beautiful day for a ball game on Sunday.

The brew crew were playing the Mets and started off strong.

Bernie Brewer was waiting and hoping for a home-run.

I went with my buddy, Ray, who works for MillerCoors. I was his +1 for the MillerCoors baseball outing. Thanks for the food and the game MillerCoors!

Finally it happened. A HOMERUN! Then ANOTHER homerun! You can see Bernie on the slide in this photo. He barely got up in time for the next homer.

Needless to say, the fans were ecstatic!

Many continued to stand for the rest of this fantastic inning.

Everyone looks forward to the Sausage Race. I always vote on #2; Polish Sausage. Who do you vote for?

It's good to dream. After the 3-0 win over the Mets, we have a good reason to.

A panoramic view of Miller Stadium.