Where is the Changing Room?

R.a.n.t. of month January 2016

I'm on vacation this week so I'm going to be short and sweet. Well, short anyway. If I were ranting about candy, I'd say sweet. But digress.

This weekend I needed to run to the store for something I needed. It was then that I started to realize something. There have been a few stores I've shopped in, and when I needed to try something on, I couldn't find a dressing room. Not in the men's department anyway.

No, it's usually in the women's department. And not just the women's department, but the intimates. In my opinion, there is nothing stranger than a single guy who suddenly has to start walking around in the intimates department. I can't imagine it would be any less uncomfortable for a women to be shopping for intimates and then suddenly see a strange single guy walking around. It just feels odd.

Additional questions:
Would this be awkward for you?
What's the most bizarre thing you've had to deal with in a store?
Have you ever gone on holiday and left something important at home?

Random Rants - III

R.a.n.t. of week 10/12/15

I've been ranting for (four) years now, but every once in a while I like to see what is irritating other people. This is where Random R.a.n.t.s comes in. Once a year I like to turn to Twitter and see what other people are ranting about. I certainly can't be the only one complaining all the time. Right? In true R.A.N.T. fashion (rage against nothing, typically), some of the rants I discovered from September are small and petty. No worries, that's what a good rant is about. And yet, several people I know have made fun of me for r.a.n.t.s. Well, turn about is fair play. Below are my third annual random rants, along with humorous retorts provided by yours truly. Enjoy the session and look below for information on how you too can join in on the fun once a month.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

S. Cook ‏ - Im so rude to cold callers its unbelievable! Not being funny though but if I wanted your product don't you think Id ring you myself!
>What if they were selling a book on funny ways to deal with cold callers? I might actually buy that from them.

B. Skrabanek - Why does curry always get such a bad rap? My apartment reeks of it tonight and it's absolutely divine.
>Why the bad rep? REEK - [rēk] VERB to smell strongly and unpleasantly.

T. Plumpton - The roadworks are ridiculous at Temple @CornwallCouncil not a single worker in sight! Also the new car park phone system is a pain!
>Please, only one rant per customer.

A. Bensing - I wish people would be honest with me, instead of this tip toe through the tulips bull crap
>Great, now I have Tiny Tim's song running through my head.

L. Williamson - It feels like every week new 'rare' photos of the #Beatles are released. How many more 'rare' photos are there?
>42

J. Gromest - I have come to the conclusion that people from Maryland don't know how to drive.
>Oddly I was just thinking the same thing about Wisconsin people.

L. White - don't hate me for this, but I'm so bored of Clara! WE NEED A NEW COMPANION ALREADY (pick me pick me pick me pick me)
>Sounds like she'll be gone soon enough. Personally, I'll miss her. I just hope they don't kill her off.

Max - Not happy with the trend in modern dramatic TV series of killing main characters after they fulfill their plot role.
>I hate when they do that in comic books. But then again, no super hero has ever truly died, have they? That's just as annoying.

B. Sachan - Here we go again. Food blogger = a person who WRITES a blog dedicated to all things food. Blog =a regularly updated website. WEBSITE.
>Feel free to follow my blog. Why only last month I was ranting about rotten fruit.

Sher - Why are there never coupons for fruit??? Grapes are expensive and necessary in my diet. Ugh!
>If only there was a food blogger who discussed this topic. I hate how expensive fruit is too, especially when it's rotten when you eat it.

KewlBabe - Getting tired of the @USPS paying for 2 day shipping only for it not to be there in 2 days, not even 3 days, today makes the 4th day.
>Where you using The United States Procrastinators System again?

Nerdarchy - I'm tired of "articles" where you have to click, click, click to view next piece of content- it's just a scam to up click rates!
>I hate those as well, so I'm not even going to joke about this. But if you really, really want to see my joke on this, click to the next article.

Nicole - Rage cleaning is a thing I do. In fact, I am doing it right now. I need to put on some music and dance like no one is watching.
>I hope using your tweet upsets you. My house could use a good cleaning. Stop over any time you want.

Mac - When did "used cars" turned into "pre-owned vehicles"? It's still the same thing.
>It's a politically correct phrase. Hey, cars are people too. Right mother?

Anna ‏- Drive thru rules:if ur ordering the whole store GO inside (this way u dont hold up the drive thru line)
>And who trained the cashiers to give you the bills first, then place the change on top. Making all your change fall to the ground. Drive Thru - Certainly a First World Problem if I ever saw one.

I. McDermott - I thought @jimmyjohns were the guys with the fast delivery, until they were 18 minutes late with my order and made me late for class.
>You think that is bad? I was at their drive through the other day and the guy in front must have been ordering every sub in the place. That was freaky and I waited a freaky long time for my sub.

Ray ‏- Does anyone know a place online where I can #rant in private? Like #real private.
>If you want real private try this. Pen, Journal, Bedroom. Can't get any more private than that. Unless you want t go find a cave to write in somewhere.

DiceShamingIsAThing ‏- Ugh that was rough. Lost the wizard. Had to spend cash on his res. Got no prestige. No items. GM screwed us at a couple points. Ugh.
>For my joke reply, please roll 2D6 and tell me the results. If you have a +2 jocular sword, let me know.

Patti - Here's an idea: let's pay for groceries @ pharmacy so u can hold up the line waiting for .....oh yeah PRESCRIPTIONS!!!!
>Just to get back at everyone, you should pay for your medicine in cosmetics.

TФDD ИФΔLL - Quit apologizing because you haven't posted in a while. No one noticed/cared.
>It's been 13 months since my last random rants and no one has noticed or cared? :'(

J. Brown - Signal lights - use them to tell people what you WANT to do, not what you're ABOUT to do. They're useless if you don't.
>It's like, "In case you couldn't tell, I'm turning." Yes, we know.

J. V. Relph - After spending hours in a movie theater, I'm left to wonder if they ever shampoo those damn chairs *feeling itchy*
>This might be one of my subconscious reasons why I don't go very often, Alex J. Cavanaugh.

K. Barth - I really hate home owner associations. Nit pick over the stupidest stuff.
>Isn't nit-pick supposed to be hyphenated?

E. Olmstead - don't tell me you're an animal lover but you still eat meat
>Would this be a bad time to mention I always thought PETA stood for People Eating Tasty Animals?

Aharon - Cannot understand why Profs find it surprising that students could fall sick. Should ask them to try the mess food.
>Hey, who's writing the jokes around here? Stop stealing mine.

Faith Guy - What does community college have in common with Mars? Well there's no intelligent life there, but people still keep trying to go!
>Perhaps they really enjoy the food in the mess hall.

M. Aprison - I know it shouldn't bother me so much but my name is Margaret. It's not Marge or Margie or Mags. It's Margaret.
>So I guess Large Marge is inappropriate too? I'll let Pee-Wee know.

A. Carney - It's 75 and sunny out. I don't understand these people at the gym running on treadmills.
>No kidding, it's a perfect day for an ice cream on the beach.

Barrister Moses - When a person drinks alcohol, everyone says he's alcoholic but when I drink Fanta no one says I'm fantastic.
>Can I hire you next year for the next random rants article?

Craig - NO Voters must feel like right idiots. They're the type that actually give their bank details to the Nigerian Lottery winning Prince
>Why is it a bad thing to give my bank details to the Nigerian Lottery board? I've won and soon they are going to forward £2,500,000 into my account. First I have a clearing fee of £1,000 to give them and another transfer fee of £500. But then the money is all mine!!!!

Brewstock - Anyone see @CervezaModeloMX advertising the clear bottles their beer comes in? It helps "show its character" and skunk your beer!
>Maybe their campaign character should be Pepé Le Pew.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Do you like to r.a.n.t. too?

A few people have wondered where my R.a.n.t. series has gone. It really hasn't gone anywhere. It's still here. But having joined a few blog hops and working on my own short story series, my time for writing has been cut drastically. So I had a thought. What about ranting once a month?

When will I be ranting?
I'm hoping to write the second Monday of each month. This way I only need to write one r.a.n.t. a month.

Can I join in on the fun?
YES! I'm interested in reading what other people are r.a.n.t.ing about.

How do I join you?
Grab the banner below and let me know you are interested.

What should I r.a.n.t. about?
What you want to complain about. Preferably, something that's been bugging you lately.
Examples: Your writing - the supermarket - annoying people. The sky is the limit.
If you need additional suggestions, re-read the random rants above.

*Please note. This article is not my typical format. I only do random rants once a year.

This is the banner I've created. Thoughts? Anyone interested in joining?

See you all next month for my next r.a.n.t. article.
November 9th

Egg Harbor (Part Two) - Egg Harbor Shops

Last week I shared a set of flora pictures from a recent trip to Egg Harbor, WI. This week I thought I'd share a few photos I took of the intriguing store-fronts. Which would you like to visit? Let's play a game. Can you guess the six stores I visited? The answer is revealed below.

As always, click on the photo to see them enlarged.

1.) Signature Pieces - A unique shopping & retail adventure.

2.) Fat Louie's - Olive Oil Company. Wine & Spirits

3.) Double Delites - Gourmet Popcorn & Gelato

4.) Greens N Grains - A Natural Food Mart

5.) Made In Britain, Ltd. - Imported foods & gifts from England.

6.) Main Street Shops - A small indoor mall.

7>) Door County Confectionery - Fudge & Nostalgic Candy

8.) Shipwrecked Brew Pub -Restaurant & Brewery

9.) Cupola House - Jewellery, Antiques & Collectibles

10.) Casey's BBQ - Barbecue Pub and Restaurant

11). Door County Sunglass Company - Sunglasses and such.

12). Main Street Market - Groceries, Beer and Wine

13). Grumpy's - Ice Cream & Popcorn

14.) Island Orchard Cider - Stop in for free samples of cider.

15.) Eames Cherry View Park - Music Pavilion

So, how well do you know Jeffrey Scott? Which stores did I visit and spend time shopping in? There were a few clues above to help you along.

Tha Answer:5, 6, 7, 8, 12 & 14.
But to be fair, there are many more I would visit and some places I didn't take photos of.

Next Week: Egg Harbor (Part Three) - This n That

Shipping Wars

R.a.n.t. of week 06/07/15

A few months ago I was sitting at home, very bored. Idly flicking through the channels, I found an interesting show. Well, I say interesting. What I mean is, it was the only channel not airing a commercial. This particular show happened to be about the exciting world of items being shipped from point A to point B. It featured a variety of people bidding to win the rights to ship various item(s). If that were not exciting enough, the next part of the show should grab your attention. The person who wins the bid, (hold on to your hats), must prepare the item for shipment. Now comes the drama. Will the item for shipment make it to point B in one piece? You probably think the show ends on a dramatic cliffhanger. "Will the collection of Looney Tunes Memorabilia make it to the buyer in one piece? Will it be on time?" But fear not! No cliffhanger! All is revealed by the end of the show. That's right, no need to have to watch another episode. Phew!

So why am I ranting about this show? Mostly to be funny. It's not like I haven't watched pointless television before. Shows about bidding on storage lockers or what happens inside a pawn shop. But I pick on this show because I have my own shipping dilemma. You see, a few weeks back I ordered a novelty pen as a gift for a friend. The order was placed 20th May. It's current status is "shipped" and the estimated delivery date is 2nd July. Is this really a reasonable amount of time to ship a simple pen? I've ordered things from other countries and had the item delivered to my door a week later. But a pen? I guess not. I can only imagining it's coming from Alaska. The package was placed on a sled dog team and is now making it's way East through Canada. At some point, it will arrive via train to Toronto. From there, it's loaded onto a special go-kart for delivery to Wisconsin. The final delivery instructions suggest the post office to deliver it on pogo-stick.  So yes, I suppose getting the pen I purchased by 2nd July is quite fast. Unless, of course, the delivery date was 2016. To be honest, I never did check the year. Perhaps I shall do that now. Well, I mean after this next episode of Shipping Wars.

Some questions for discussion:
What mindless show do you watch?
What's the oddest piece of memorabilia you own?
Does a month and a half seem like an acceptable amount of time for delivery?



Stay tuned next week for a new feature.
Battle of the Bands!
On the 1st and 15th of every month, I will be showcasing two artists, featuring the same songs.
Who sang or performed it best? You will decide!

Fresh Ground Coffee

R.a.n.t. of week 03/15/15

I don't know if this makes me a coffee snob or not, but I refuse to buy pre-ground coffee. Personally, I don't understand it. There is nothing I enjoy more than waking up and grinding a fresh pot of coffee.

WARNING! This is the paragraph showing how I'm not such a coffee snob. You see, when I'm shopping for coffee, I'm attracted to various different flavoured coffee. If it's something I'm going to enjoy, I'm going to buy it.

Now time for the complaint. It seems most coffee I find is pre-ground instead of whole bean. What good is that to me? For a time I was wondering if maybe flavoured coffee doesn't come in whole bean. But that can't be true. One of my favourite coffee places, Berres Brothers, has an abundance of awesome and different flavours available. All whole bean! (Or ground if you prefer). The down side to Berres Brothers, if there is one, is they  are not in my neighbourhood. I need make a special trip to Watertown Wisconsin and personally buy from them there in the cafe. Well, I guess it's not such a down side. I usually go with my sister and her family and we make a special day of it. It's our Berres Brothers time. And as they say in their store...

What is Berres Brothers Time?
BB time is a time to relax, talk, chill out, warm up. Just be you. It's time to think, laugh, whatever.
BB time is a feeling. A state of mind. An experience. A place where you're in control of the moment, protected from the stress, the noise and the hassle of the day. Whether it's with friends, family or all alone. First thing in the morning or late at night. Simply put, BB time is your time. And it's a little different for everyone. But when you're in it. You know it.

But let's be honest. No matter how special Berres Brother Time is to my sister and I, I'd still like to find whole bean coffee in the stores. I mean, is that such a hard thing?

Picnic Shopping

He asked the clerk for a bit of cheese,
a bottle of wine and tin of nuts.
"Perchance some meat. Oh pretty please?"
"Make it of your finest Cuts."

"I'll need a cloth, so here's my pick,"
"and this exquisite tray of choicest fruit."
The register tabulated click, click, click,
then greedily accepted all his loot.

J.A.Scott

Brady Street Storefronts

Not much to say with this set. The photos really speak for themselves.

Essentially, a few of my favourite Brady Street storefronts.

Which are your favourites? Hope you enjoy the set.

J.A.Scott

Brady Street Signs

Not much to say with this set. The photos really speak for themselves.

Essentially, a few of my favourite Brady Street signs.

Hope you enjoy this set.

J.A.Scott

Grocery Shopping

Run in quick
for a loaf of bread.
Also butter,
or other spread.
Remembered soda
for me to drink.
And something to clean
the bathroom sink.
I'll put some grapes
on the scale,
What the heck,
they are on sale.
Product sample,
have a taste.
I think I'll buy
this tomato paste.
While I'm here,
some cheesy mac.
With some chips
for an evening snack.
As I check out
it isn't funny.
Lost my wallet
and all the money.

J.A.Scott

Checking Out the Fast Lane

R.a.n.t. of week 12/16/12

Let's suppose you went to a Nascar race, only to find out the cars in the race were a soap-box derby type, using pedal power. The roar of the cars zipping past replaced with a deafening sound of nothingness from the derby cars. Probably not an event you'd write home about, unless to r.a.n.t. and complain. Even if you were a soap-box derby fan, you'd have to admit compared to the Nascar you were hoping to see, the derby cars were not very speedy. Keep in mind, being speedy is relative to how fast you expect something to go. A snail racing along at 10MPH could hardly be called slow. Why then, do grocery stores put monikers on their 'self-serve checkout' lines such as "Speed Zone" or "Fast Lane", when they are anything but. Have you ever tried using these lanes and actually watched the people in front of you? This weekend I was entertained with a three act show. With four checkouts, only three ever work at any given time. The first customer is a lady who ignores the 12 item limit and proceeds to self-checkout her cartload. I've also noticed the more a person has at the checkout, the slower they move. The next checkout is a lady who has a stack of coupons. I won't bash coupons if they work for you, but most machines require the attention of a checkout clerk. So every coupon the lady scans, the clerk has to come over and approve it. If she's going to be seeing the clerk that much, why not just use a regular lane? The final customer is an older gentleman who has his grandson along. First of all, the gent has a 'not so bright' look on his face. Everything he scans puzzles him and he tries to scan other items before putting the previous into a bag. This sets off the alert and the clerk is called over to find out what the problem is. His grandson keeps telling him to put the item in a bag, but for reasons unknown the grandfather doesn't listen. After a few more items being processed this way, I literally hear him say, "Maybe I should have used the other lane". Sir, you took the words right out of my mouth.

Mexico - Day 3

My sister and I actually planned something for our last full day in Mexico. On Saturday we decided to visit Playa del Carmen and do a bit of shopping. As a person who loves to shop and experience new things, I was all in favour of this. Here is our first view of the city, and one we wanted to remember as our bus back was to be from this exact location.



The driver gave the layout of where various things were, so we set out. This appears to be a park/common area of the city. I love the walk-way.



Prime example of why I'm such a nerd. Not only is the first stop a local Wal-Mart, (I love to visit international versions of local stores for comparison) but I take a photo of the Spanish version of Apples to Apples, one of my favourite games.



Turns out our trip to Wal-Mart was just as eventful as anything else that happened. As we were walking around, we noticed the smell of smoke. Suddenly, one of the associate doors flew open and two staff members ran out carrying axes. A fire broke out towards the front of the store. We were horrified to realize the store was not being evacuated. So after we finished our shopping, a picture was taken of the police and fire truck outside.



We spent the rest of the time at the local street shops. Chris was searching for gifts for home, most importantly a hammock for the family.



I wasn't really looking for anything in particular, probably a good thing since I'm not good at negotiating prices and that seemed to be the trick of the trade. Essentially, I went all the way to Mexico and all I got for my kids were those stupid T-shirts.



Lately, it seems Gelato is the next trendy thing. Even the local Metro Market has suddenly started selling it. So once I saw this shop, I decided it was time to give it a try. Of course I opted for the Mango flavour. Problem is, isn't gelato an Italian ice cream? And I had it in Mexico. So what exactly did I eat? Mexican/Italian ice cream?



I saw this place and really wanted to get a coffee, but we decided to save it for later in case we didn't have time. Turns out Chris really wishes we had gone. Once our time in Playa del Carmen was over we headed back. The two of us were the only ones in the bus and it didn't seem to be taking a direct route back to the highway. Also it was going through some really rough parts of town. I got the feeling she thought we were being kidnapped so I talked to the driver to make sure he was heading back to the highway. This broke the ice and Chris started talking to him in partial Spanish and soon we were on the highway, and more importantly back at our resort.



After our ordeal in the city, we decided to relax on the beach for the rest of the day. On our way I decided to stop at the swim-up bar and get a drink. I need to try any new experience, at least once. I believe the drink 'special' of the day was a Bahama Mama.



After the drink, I spotted a bird I was unfamiliar with. In an attempt to bolster my artistic skills with shots of the local flora and fauna, I decided to shoot this bird, with a camera of course.
Update: I believe this is called a 'Purplish-Backed Jay'.



Finally we made it to the beach where we spent the rest of the day, till evening came upon us. It was time for dinner so we went back to the steak place. Afterwards we decided to do as much packing as we could so we'd have the entire next morning to eat breakfast and say goodbye to the resort.

(To be concluded)