Seismic Crimes - (Special Guest Blogger; Chrys Fey)

Disaster Love

With a Disaster Crimes Series, it should be no surprise
that I have a fascination with disasters. Last year for the April Blogging from
A to Z Challenge, my theme was all about disasters from avalanches to the
zombie apocalypse. A fellow blogger, Sage from Uncovered Hills, even gave me
the nickname Disaster Chrys. I was touched, because it meant I was doing
something right; branding myself with disasters.

My love for disasters only extends to fiction (movies and
books). Disasters in real-life are heartbreaking and devastating. I don’t want
disasters to happen anywhere in the world. In fiction, they can be just as
heartbreaking and devastating but also exciting.

Beth and Donovan met during a hurricane (Hurricane Crimes)
and fall deeply in love during an earthquake (Seismic Crimes). Passion and
danger go hand-in-hand with the disasters in my stories.

When disasters strike, everyone’s main concern is their
loved ones’ safety, especially if they’re separated. Reconnecting with loved
ones after a disaster can be bittersweet, lovely and even passionate.

In Seismic Crimes, Beth is desperate to free Donovan from
rubble, and Donovan wants to find Beth when she goes off alone to get him help.
What people do and how they react during a disaster reveals a lot about their
character.

I also show the impact these disasters have on nature and
the cities my stories take place. You can’t write about a disaster without
these details. Considering what the aftermath would be like is a lot of fun for
me. Nothing is unbreakable. Nothing is inconceivable when it comes to Mother
Nature’s destruction. It’s that unlimited range of possibilities that is
intriguing and fun to tackle.

So much can happen during and after a disaster, which is
where danger comes into play. One disaster can lead to another. With
earthquakes, there’s the threat of fires, sinkholes, landslides, tsunamis,
falling buildings/bridges, looting and death. Each of these adds excitement to
an already thrilling plot.

When I read and write, I love action. Action and romance, and disasters are the
perfect source for both. No wonder why I like using them in my
romantic-suspense!

Title: Seismic Crimes

Author: Chrys Fey

Series: Disaster Crimes Series (Book Two)

Publisher: The Wild Rose Press

Format: Digital and Print

Page Count: 282

DIGITAL LINKS:

Amazon US / Amazon UK / Amazon CA

NOOK / KOBO / All Romance eBooks

PRINT LINKS:

Amazon US / Amazon UK / Amazon CA

 The Wild Rose Press

BLURB:

An Internal Affairs Investigator was murdered and his brother, Donovan Goldwyn, was framed. Now Donovan is desperate to prove his innocence. And the one person who can do that is the woman who saved him from a deadly hurricane—Beth Kennedy. From the moment their fates intertwined, passion consumed him. He wants her in his arms. More, he wants her by his side in his darkest moments.

Beth Kennedy may not know everything about Donovan, but she can’t deny what she feels for him. It’s her love for him that pushes her to do whatever she has to do to help him get justice, including putting herself in a criminal’s crosshairs.

When a tip reveals the killer's location, they travel to California, but then an earthquake of catastrophic proportions separates them. As aftershocks roll the land, Beth and Donovan have to endure dangerous conditions while trying to find their way back to one another. Will they reunite and find the killer, or will they lose everything?

HURRICANE CRIMES 99¢ SALE!

DIGITAL LINKS:

Amazon US / Amazon UK 

Amazon CA / NOOK / KOBO 

All Romance eBooks

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BIO:

Chrys Fey is the author of Hurricane Crimes, Book One in the Disaster Crimes series, as well as these releases from The Wild Rose Press: 30 Seconds, Ghost of Death, and Witch of Death. She is an administrator for the Insecure Writer's Support Group and has participated in the Blogging from April A to Z Challenge.

When Fey was six years old, she realized she wanted to be a writer by watching her mother pursue publication. At the age of twelve, she started writing her first novel, which flourished into a series she later rewrote at seventeen.

Fey lives in Florida and is always on the lookout for hurricanes. She has four adopted cats who keep her entertained with their antics, and three nephews who keep her entertained with their antics. You can connect with her on Facebook, Twitter, and through her blog, Write with Fey. She loves to get to know her readers!

AUTHOR LINKS:

Website / Blog / Facebook / Twitter

Avoiding New Project Overload

Today I'm hosting guest blogger, Stephanie Faris. She will be discussing how to avoid becoming overburdened by a new project undertaking.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

You have a great idea for a book. You’ll just sit down, start writing, and 80,000 words later, you’ll be done
Wait…80,000 words?

The idea of writing a book can seem beyond daunting at the beginning. With so many words to get to “the end,” it’s hard to imagine you’ll ever get there. If it takes six months, a year, or longer to reach the final page, is it worth it? What if you never get it published? What if you self-publish and nobody buys it?

If you’re a planner, the best way to get past those early feelings is to sit down and map out your entire book. When you see the full trajectory of your book, you’ll at least see it as accomplishable. Then set small daily goals for yourself and try to stick to them. You don’t have to write 2,000 words a day, but at least try to write 100 words. Most days you’ll write more words than 100 and soon you’ll find you’re halfway to the end.

I’m not a planner, but I downloaded Scrivener last year and I’ve found it has helped in a lot of ways. One major way is that I can’t easily see the word count on my manuscript while I’m writing. So instead of watching that number at the bottom of my screen, I just write. Occasionally I “compile” to see how far along I am and I’m always surprised by how much progress I’ve made. You may find that’s easier.

National Novel Writing Month is also a great way to make serious progress on your manuscript. You commit to writing a book during the month of November and if you succeed, you get a nice little badge for your blog. If you don’t succeed, you almost always have made significant progress on your book. Finishing is just a matter of sticking with it into the new year.

Writing a book is hard work. It’s a long-term commitment but when you finally type “the end,” it is such a huge accomplishment. Like anything in life worth doing, you’ll put in long hours and sometimes feel like you can’t continue but if you just push through, you’ll have a finished book that you can then edit, revise, and (eventually) share with the world.

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Piper Morgan Joins the Circus

By Stephanie Faris

Blurb:
Piper helps some four-legged friends find the perfect home in the third book of the brand-new Piper Morgan series.

Piper is super excited to help out at Bark Street, a local animal shelter in town. Who wouldn’t want to be surrounded by adorable puppies and dogs all day? And when Piper sees Taffy, the cutest dog she has ever seen, Piper is determined to find a way to bring Taffy home. But it won’t be easy—especially when she finds out someone else wants to make Taffy a part of their family, too!

Bio:

Stephanie Faris knew she wanted to be an author from a very young age. In fact, her mother often told her to stop reading so much and go outside and play with the other kids. After graduating from Middle Tennessee State University with a Bachelor of Science in broadcast journalism, she somehow found herself working in information technology. But she never stopped writing.

Stephanie is the Simon & Schuster author of 30 Days of No Gossip and 25 Roses, as well as the upcoming Piper Morgan series. When she isn’t crafting fiction, she writes for a variety of online websites on the topics of business, technology, and her favorite subject of all—fashion. She lives in Nashville with her husband, a sales executive.


Links:

Website

Blog

Facebook

Twitter

Instagram

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Its Won More Grammer Post

I was reading an article written by my one time 'consultant', Professor Sanee. She has a fascination with using humour in counselling and therapy sessions. This particular article caught my eye because she picks apart a 'Weird Al' song. She also discusses her writing (which is pretty much what the article was about). How could I pass this up?

I asked if I could repost and she agreed on the 'proviso' (her word, not mine) I remind everyone her new book, "Giggle, Guffaw & Other Curious Words", is now in book stores. The book researches various word and phrase origins. It also identifies how certain archaic words fell into disuse.

Anyway, her abridged article on grammar is below.
Hope you enjoy it as much as I did.
J.A.Scott

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The humorist Al Yankovic recently penned a song describing the decline of proper grammar. You will note, the song is replete with both information and humour. In one of the first verses, he points out how the inability to conjugate results in mocking. This is especially true when you post your inability on social networks.

Is it not sad how social media is the catalyst for the inundation of 'grammar fools'? Simple words are suddenly lost from even the most basic nomenclature of written communication. It's enough to make a grown women cry. Particularly when editing students term papers.

Mr. Yankovic then uses the examples of words such as; be, see, are & you. He points out writing such as B, C, R & U is not only lazy and sloppy, but indicative of a lower intellect. If I might point out, the number 2 is also not a word. Unless you are utilizing it to indicate an amount of something.

In a similar vein, misusing a wrong can bring hours of entertainment to any 'Grammar Nazi'. Al points out the words 'its' and 'it's' differ in meaning. While one is possessive, the other is a contraction. A contraction is actually two words. The proper use should be apparent. As I continually tell my students, if you don't know, say it out loud. For example 'The dog wagged it's tail'. If you were to write it this way, you are saying the dog wagged it is tail. Does that makes sense to you?

I also appreciate how the song points to the incessant errant grammar found in almost every e-mail and blog post online. I was reading a blog not long ago and found this gem, "My wish is too B visiting london, Europe and it's surrounding countries this year." What sort of syntax is that? Hold my grammar pen! This sort of spastic writing gives me a migraine.

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Thanks again to Professor Sanee for letting me use a portion of her article. I love her writing style and how it's infused with humour. The rest of the article can found in the European magazine, 'A Writer's Right'. For anyone unfamiliar with the song she is referencing, I've included the video below.

Additional Questions:
What grammar errors drive you nuts?
What grammar errors have you had to work on?
Are you a 'Weird Al' Yankovic fan?
Have you read either of Sanee's books?



* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Professor Sanee resides in Italy
and teaches the course 'the
Ethics of Humour' at I.M.A.
She's also author of the book,
"Why Isn't Anyone Laughing?"

A Special Anniversary R.a.n.t. 2015

R.a.n.t. of week 07/26/15
I can't believe I've been r.a.n.t.ing on my blog for three continuous years straight. Even more to the point, I can't believe I've been seriously writing for over thirty years. What started with me keeping a simple creative writing journal in one of my English classes, has resulted in boxes full of short stories I've written and rewritten, an eight part short story series titled "Writer's Block", almost 200 poems and countless r.a.n.t.s on this very blog. You would think I'd have run out of things to write about, and I admit from time to time I wonder where I'll get more ideas and inspiration from. But they still keep coming. And since I do continue to keep getting inspiration, what better thing could I celebrate? As I did once before, I bring you my anniversary r.a.n.t with the help of a few friends.

Business

"We got hosed!" So say many customers of Telebrands Inc, also know as the "As Seen On TV" people. You may be tempted to purchase a few of their products such as the 'Pocket Hose', 'Lint Lizard' or 'Dump Cakes', but you better be prepared to order more than than what you are bargaining for. The company has recently come under fire for "scamming" customers with shady up-selling deals and inaccurate adverts. I can only image getting a refund would be as much of a nightmare. Honestly, who needs a useless 'Rabbit TV' USB so badly they are willing to risk getting scammed? I for one would be happy to stick with the CBC. Or better yet, read a good book.
Jenni Long
- Thanks for doing the anniversary r.a.n.t. again Jenni. I hope you are satisfied writing the business feature, per your request of last time.



Celebrities

I don't no if I can still be a Ariana Grande fan after I heard this report. If you know me like all my friends know me, you know I love my donuts. But I also love Ariana Grande, almost as much as I love One Direction. But then she licks all the donuts in the store and I'm like OMG! Did she really do that? It's a good thing I did not see her do that or I would have to fight her. Now every time I eat a donut I wonder if someone liked it. And I love my donuts. Did I mention that already? Why did you do that Ariana? Why? Now One Direction is my favorite music group. Expecially Liam Payne. I love you.
Katy
- I like your r.a.n.t. Katy. As always, your writing is extremely humorous. In more than one way.


Music

You know what grinds my gears? When someone says to me “I only listen to (insert music genre)” or “I simply can’t stand (insert music genre)”.
Maybe it’s just me, but I honestly believe that each genre represents a mood. If you are listening to only one music genre, you are not properly expressing your moods. For example, one cannot only listen to hymns and properly express anger or rage. And one simply cannot only listen to death metal and properly express a somber spiritual mood. There has to be balance in your life. Each genre provides the balance that is needed.
People have said “But I don’t like Rap (or Urban Street Music). What the music stands for is just wrong with the foul language and sexual innuendo.” If you actually took the time to listen and pay attention, you would realize that not ALL Rap (or Urban Street Music) is full of swearing and sexual innuendo.
There is good in ALL genres of music. and ALL music genres serve a purpose in life. What purpose or mood does Death Metal serve? As a menopausal female - I can honestly tell you that Death Metal is a wonderful release.
Mary Burris
- Lovely contribution Mary. I guess some people prefer only Highlander Music, "There can be only one." Personally, I listen to all sorts of music. Even country and rap. Though I'll admit, not very often, and usually more 80's style rap.


World News

I know you are not going to believe this, but something good has finally come out of the European Union. It seems by the year 2017, data and roaming charges will be abolished for those of us in the EU travelling to other EU countries. As an author looking to promote my new book, 'Giggle, Gaffaw & Other Curious Words', in other European states, this relaxation of data charges is going to help me keep in touch with friends and family back home, should I need my own humour transfusion to keep going. Of course 2017 is quite a time off and I start my book tour late October. Possibly within Foyles or some other chain. Sneak peak: Chapter One is titled, 'Snark, Snark, the Dog's Do Bark'. Hope to see you readers at one of the signings. More details later.
Arrivederci / Professor Sanee
- Sanee, I appreciate you taking time out of your busy schedule to provide a little something for my anniversary post. Even if it swayed more towards self-promotion. Make sure to give me details on your book tour when it's available and I will share with my readers.


Science

Are you as fascinated with the recent focus of Planet Pluto as I am? Yes, I said it, Pluto is a planet. Say what you want about the reasoning behind calling it a dwarf planet, in my opinion it's still a planet. What's the term - Grandfathered in? And truly, is the term 'dwarf planet' politically correct? Yes, I've read the articles on why it's classification was downsized. Yes, I have read the Science Journals with their facts and figures. I may even agree with a few of them. But when the New Horizons probe was initially launched in January of 2006, Pluto was still a planet. In my opinion, Pluto still IS a planet. But then again, perhaps the New Horizons probe is just a hoax, like the moon landing. Another rant for another time.
Charles Winthrop
- I love topics involving outer space. And yes, I am fascinated about this whole Pluto thing. The moon landing a hoax? LOL I assume you are being facetious.


This draws this years anniversary r.a.n.t. to a conclusion. Thanks to everyone who participated. As for you readers. You have a job to do now. Make sure you let the writers know what a great job they did. Did you find one of their short articles particularly interesting? Let them know in the comments. Did you disagree with their viewpoint on a subject? Let them know too.


* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Jenni Long is a writer and editor
of the Canadian children's magazine
'Fille Forte'. That being said, her
thoughts do not necessarily reflect
those of myself.


* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Professor Sanee resides in Italy
and teaches the course 'the
Ethics of Humour' at I.M.A.
She's also author of the book,
"Why Isn't Anyone Laughing?"



* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Charles Winthrop is a Washington
state writer & D.J. His interests
include music (both modern and
classical) and is a fine art connoisseur.
His articles have appeared in various
magazines including, 'Art Beautiful',
'Music of the Renaissance', and 'The Walla Walla Whistler'.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Mary is a 50 year old cancer survivor
and music lover. She blogs about music
artists and the stories behind the music.
You can find her at:
Jingle Jangle Jungle

Where Is Everybody In France

R.a.n.t. for week 05/17/15

Now that the April A-Z blogging challenge has come to a successful conclusion, I've suddenly found other duties I need to catch up on. This, coupled with the fact I've had a house guest the past week, I have found little time to work on writing. Fortunately, Muriel, a blogger at French Yummy Mummy has agreed to guest this week. If you enjoy her article, make sure you stop by her own blog and say hi. Take it away Muriel.

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Everybody knows that we French take a whole month off in August. But what you probably don’t know is that it is simply impossible to do any sort of business in France in May. Take my word for it: don’t even try. Why? Because we have at least four Bank holidays and, in my home country, Bank holidays don’t necessarily fall on a Monday. It can be any day.
If you don’t believe it, here is a quick recap of all the days off in France this month:
– 1st of May (A Friday this year)
– 8th of May (A Friday this year)
– 14th of May (A Thursday. This means that most French will ‘make the bridge’ and take Friday off as well. Don’t even try to call anyone in France today).
– 25th of May (A Monday this time)

This basically means that 5 days are off, and I have to do the same amount of work when all of France seems to be enjoying the sun somewhere nice (while it is grey or pouring in London, if you must know). My French friends and family don’t understand what the fuss is all about. They feel that they are entitled to the additional time. This Gallic sense of entitlement is driving me mad.

In fact, I must admit that I am fuming. Because of the various days off, bridges, and so on, and so forth, half of my clients (I have a small business in France) simply forgot to pay their invoices. Now that I am British too, I believe that there is such a thing as too much vacation. The excuses I got were simply priceless. Here are a few:

”But it’s a Bank holiday”
Maybe. But you see, my own bank didn’t forget me. How do I repay the loan if I am not paid?

“But my bank is closed today..”
Haven’t you heard of automatic transfer services?

”But I promise you, I am not a thief!”
Well why don’t you just pay then?

”Sorry, we went to Italy for a break”
Lucky you.

”Because of the Bank holidays we don’t know when we will be able to pay you.”
Right. I am losing fast my sense of humour here. Notice served.

It felt a bit like talking to a wall. They didn’t understand where I was coming from. I am feeling very British right now. So British that I am seriously considering selling the whole thing and investing somewhere else. I can’t put up with such attitudes any more. And life is too short, right? I told you, I am angry.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Muriel (pronounced MuriEL, not
MEWriel). is a French native
currently residing in London. She
is a recent collumnist for a popular
relationship website and maintians
her own personal blog:
French Yummy Mummy

G is for Guest Blogging

R.a.n.t. of day 04/08/15

Believe it or not, J.A.Scott is not the first blog I've written for. There is actually a history of how my blog got to where it is now. I mention this because for a time I was writing for two other blogs. One was 'Doctor Who' themed and the other a 'Biggest Loser' theme. Early in 2012 I was invited to guest blog for a friend who wrote for an online Philadelphia newspaper called PhillyBurbs. She also wrote Biggest Loser articles and had a feature called, "Tweets of the Week". The point of the article was to scan twitter for various comments on the current weeks episode of 'Biggest Loser' and chose the ones which best illustrated how the general populace viewed the particular episode. Then snarky replies were provided for the benefit and humour of those reading the article. Jennifer Weilgus, the writer, has a sarcastic wit, much like mine, so I seemed to be the perfect fit. It was a big thrill when she asked if I'd be willing to substitute for her. Though the article on the site has disappeared, I saved a copy of the article I wrote to my own blog. You can find it HERE.

Three years later and I've never guest blogged again, though I wouldn't mind it. Till then, I still love to host my own guest bloggers. I produced an anniversary article two years ago where I invited others to guest blog on one collaborative article. They were each given a small paragraph to write on a specific topic. I.E. Business, Food, Sports or Current affairs. You can find that article HERE. Only one of those guest bloggers has continued to do additional guest work for me. Since then, I've acquired two more who are willing to help out from time to time. Sure, I could skip a week when something comes up in my life and have no time to write. But I hate seeing gaps on my blog, times where nothing is being written. And to be honest, I sometimes make-believe they are staff; hired help. No, they don't get paid. Their reward is knowing something they wrote is being shared on my blog, and I always give them credit. Which to be fair, is all the reward I ever wanted when I guest blogged, once upon a time.

Some questions for discussion:
Would you ever be willing to guest blog?
Have you ever hosted a guest blogger?
Do you believe guest blogging is a good thing or bad thing? Why?



My current 'staff' writers are featured below.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Jenni Long is a writer and editor
of the Canadian children's magazine
'Fille Forte'. That being said, her
thoughts do not necessarily reflect
those of myself.


* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Professor Sanee resides in Italy
and teaches the course 'the
Ethics of Humour' at I.M.A.
She's also author of the book,
"Why Isn't Anyone Laughing?"



* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Charles Winthrop is a Washington
state writer & D.J. His interests
include music (both modern and
classical) and is a fine art connoisseur.
His articles have appeared in various
magazines including, 'Art Beautiful',
'Music of the Renaissance', and 'The Walla Walla Whistler'.

Stop Being Insecure

R.a.n.t. of week 08/24/14

I promise, this is the last month for a guest blog. I'll be back to complain once more next month. This time the blog entry will be provided from my long time friend, Jenni Long.

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After talking to a friend a few days ago, I got to realizing he was complaining about a non-issue. Something made up in his mind. But this isn't a problem he suffers from alone. Every day, things transpire in our lives which we worry about. Typically, the worries are unjustifiable. Each month, 'Fille Forte' receives many questions along these lines. I.E., "I think my friend is mad at me, what did I do?", "Why is my friend ignoring me?", and my personal favourite, "I heard my friend went out with another friend, but I wasn't invited. Why?" When you think of it, each question is just a form of insecurity; no real problem exists. When I responded to my friend, I told him the same thing the girls in the magazine are generally told.

1.) The problem is yours alone.
2.) You are causing the bad situation.
3.) It could be harming your friendship.
4.) You should seek to resolve the situation.

Let's take the first question, "I think my friend is mad at me, what did I do?"
"Dear Worried,
How certain are you your friend is mad at you? Did they tell you this specifically? Or are you just assuming? It's very possible you did nothing. In a true friendship, we should never try to read minds. When you start making assumption based on what you think the other person is thinking, you are simply inventing a problem that does not exist. If she is truly your friend, you need to develop trust. Trust she does not get mad for trivialities. Trust that if she is mad, she will let you know when she's ready. And if she is upset about something, she may come to realize it's silly and let it go."

Second question, "Why is my friend ignoring me?"
"Dear Ignored,
Sometimes we may think a person is ignoring us, but in reality they are involved in some other activity. If you send a text message to a friend and they do not respond right away, it does not mean they are ignoring you. Like you, they have other things going on in their lives. It would be hazardous to think you are the centre of your friends world. Perhaps they are dealing with parents, or have had chores assigned to them. Don't be pushy and selfish. Your friend will get back to you when they can. You wouldn't want them to think you are narcissistic. Whatever you do, don't complain about being ignored. This could actually push your friend away and they may truly start to ignore you. If you are having a hard time waiting to hear back from a friend, get involved in something else. Go for a walk, watch a funny film, read a magazine article. It's possible you are just being impatient."

Final question, "I heard my friend went out with another friend, but I wasn't invited. Why?"
"Dear Not Invited,
You are being insecure about something you needn't be. Like you, she has other friends to associate with. If you draw attention to this problem, you are likely to draw attention to your insecurity. Insecurity can be a turn-off, even among friends. It's not possible for you to invite all your friends to absolutely everything you do. The same is true for others. Let your friends have other friends. It doesn't mean they no longer like you. It simply means they decided to spend time with another friend. When you do something with a specific friend, does that mean you've stopped liking your other friends? No. The same is true for everyone."

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Jenni Long is a writer and editor
of the Canadian children's magazine
'Fille Forte'. That being said, her
thoughts do not necessarily reflect
those of myself.

The Impossible Girl

R.a.n.t. of week 07/13/14

Like last month, using another guest blogger this month. Professor Sanee has provided this months edition. Thanks for your patience and understanding.

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When a situation is presented to most people, it is either greatly accepted or looked at apprehensively. Those taken to apprehension have various views on the situation presented. Either it's not accepted because it's out of their comfort zone, or they view it as something rather difficult. Either difficult to believe, or difficult to accomplish. "It's impossible", they may call out. But what is impossibility? Alice (in Wonderland) was encouraged to believe impossible things. And yet, is something impossible, truly impossible? Look at a few of the things Alice found impossible to believe in. A cat who disappeared leaving only a cheesy grin, a bottle of mysterious fluid that allowed her to shrink in size, and a deck of playing cards following the orders of a tyrannical Queen who seemingly wanted to see everyone without a head. And all this before breakfast. So how capable would you be to accept any of these impossible scenarios? And are they really impossible?

To illustrate, let's journey back a couple hundred years. On our trip, we will bring a set of walkie talkies a flash-light and a digital camera. Before showing any of these items to any of the locals, we will describe each item. To which, they will declare them to be impossible. How can one cause a beam of light to shoot from one's hands? Or listen to a person from a mile away, as though they were standing right next to you? Or hold the perfect image of someone in an instant, within the palm of your hand. That's impossible! And then when you show them the items, they may gradually learn to accept them as possible. If they don't burn you for witch-craft.

So maybe not all situations presented to us are as impossible as we feel they are. I know there are several things to which I consider impossible, that I'd like to at least hope are just illusions of impossibility. What about you? Is there anything that others claim to be impossible, that you consider within the realm of possibility? And for the record, no, I don't believe the situations in Alice in Wonderland are possible. They are quite impossible.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Professor Sanee resides in Italy
and teaches the course 'the
Ethics of Humour' at I.M.A.
She's also author of the book,
"Why Isn't Anyone Laughing?"

A Thing of Beauty - Part 140

R.a.n.t. of week 06/08/14

I''m going to take a blog hiatus for a while. However, blog contributor Charles Winthrop has agreed to guest blog for the month. The following is part of one of his longest running series. I thought it would be interesting and he has agreed to share it here. I hope you enjoy it.

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It's truly amazing what some people discard and treat as garbage, when in actuality what they have is a prized possession, something of great beauty and value. I was reading this morning of a women who went to a rubbish sale (flea market) and procured a box of various items for only seven dollars. One report suggests a Paul Bunyan mini statue was in the box which is what caught her eye. (A clear indication of the typical junk found there). Going over the items, the painting barely caught her eye. The frame was of interest to her, but the actual object of the frame was not, much like the previous owner. On a gut feeling, she decided to have the painting appraised. Turns out, what she thought was worthless or unimportant, was a lost painting from Frenchman Pierre-Auguste Renoir (1841-1919). An auction was established with hopes of raising as much as $75,000. Certainly, this painting was worth far more than originally thought. And someone just threw it away? There are countless tales in the art world of works of art turning up in the oddest places, usually in attics, basements, or behind paintings of less value. So what about us? Is there a true objet d'art in your life? And how do you treat it? Would you devalue it? Damage it? Throw it in the garbage? Certainly not. It doesn't matter if it's a painting hanging on the wall, an antique piece of furniture or even a person. How we treat our valuable possessions is certainly an indication of who we truly are on the inside. How sad it is some people are miserable, horrible people on the inside, who feel the need to damage, destroy or devalue things of beauty.

This excerpt from the online publication - 'Art Beautiful',
used with permission.

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Charles Winthrop is a Washington
state writer & D.J. His interests
include music (both modern and
classical) and is a fine art connoisseur.
His articles have appeared in various
magazines including, 'Art Beautiful',
'Music of the Renaissance', and 'The Walla Walla Whistler'.


♫ Like a beautiful smile
 That fills I know why
 Such a beauty won't die
 It's eternity's mile 
 That we walk all this while ♪

Bonus Photo - Les Deux Sœurs

Making Plans

R.a.n.t. of week 02/16/14

It's been a rough past week, so I've asked Jenni to fill in for me. Essentially, this Winter is getting tiring and I've been very busy. Perhaps a r.a.n.t. for another time? I'll be back next week. Excuse the photo of the week, Jenni supplied it. Thanks for reading.

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Last Saturday I hosted a dinner party. Or attempted to host a dinner party would be more precise. Twenty-five invites went out in January, thirteen R.S.V.P.ed in the affirmative. Of these, three couples arrived; less than a quarter planned. This left me with various leftovers. The ham & horseradish spiral hors d'oeuvres are now sitting in the basement cooler, I don't eat horshradish. The poutine with oka cheese appetizers still linger, though I've eaten more by myself than I care to admit. The pan seared maple trout? This will likely find a new home in the dustbin, along with the rest of the culinary creations to which I was unable to persuade any of the three couples to part with. The Rossignol? Yes, I'll be holding on to that for a bit. I have several bottles, so it should last till the next time I decide to foolishly plan a dinner party.

A recent article in 'Fille Forte', we talked about proper etiquette when visiting a friend. The magazine has an 8 -12 year old girl demographic and yet it seems more people would benefit from reviewing the simple tips found within. Below are a few excerpts, with additional comments provided by me.

1.) Don't be a Debbi Drop-in.
Make sure the parents are aware of your visit. Just because your friend says it's okay, does not mean it's okay with the parents.
{The same can be said for adults. Just because I am home, does not mean I have free time.}

2.) Make a date. Set a time. Have some fun.
Be smart about plan making. When done wisely, you can schedule time for school-work and play.
{Again, as adults there is a reason scheduling is done. I don't ask you to RSVP for my health.}

3.) Be true to your word.
After awhile, people stop inviting Libby Liar over. Having better plans is no reason to cancel on your friend.
{Unacceptable excuses? 'We couldn't find a baby-sitter.' 'My dog was sick.' Or my personal favourite, 'My data planner crashed and I couldn't remember when the party was.'}

If you hadn't guessed, the three responses above were just a few of the pathetic juvenile replies I received. Is it any wonder I used portions of a children's magazine to give helpful tips? It's time to start acting like adults. And if you don't want to show up to an event I've planned, have the decency to let me know. Don't have your child call me. (Yes, that happened too).

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Jenni Long is a writer and editor
of the Canadian children's magazine
'Fille Forte'. That being said, her
thoughts do not necessarily reflect
those of myself.

Leave the Despising To Us

R.a.n.t. for week of 01/19/14

I've decided to take another week off so Professor Sanee can continue her travel horror story. Reflecting on this story, I recall my own travel horror story. It happened in Mexico. Perhaps I'll relate that next week if anyone would like to hear it. But I digress, Professor Sanee you have the conn.

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[WARNING] Those of you who have not read last weeks r.a.n.t. should, as this is a continuation. You can find it HERE.

Chapter seven of my book is titled, 'Frustration, Crying, Laughter'. In this chapter I try to help people stay positive despite the many perils they may be facing. The emotions one feels typically starts in frustration, then moves to crying and finally, later, laughter. Realistically, rage is one of the feelings too but the book tries to remain positive and I gloss over those feelings. Maybe I shouldn't have done so, because suddenly rage was all I was feeling. If you recall from last week, I left off relating how the Greyhound bus departed from New York City when I began to fall asleep. Let's pick up where I left off.

When I woke up, the bus was stopped in Newark, NJ. It seems after I fell asleep, the bus stopped to pick up a few people and let more get on. That was when they discovered the bus was unable to continue it's journey. For whatever reason, the door was jammed. It was not closing and "safety regulations required the door to be closed at all times while in operation", as I was told. This resulted in another forced layover. The time was now six-thirty. In the span of 3 hours, I had travelled exactly 30 miles! I began to wonder if taking the bus was the wisest choice.

'Joyce II' was not much friendlier than her predecessor. Reissuing new tickets for a bus load of wayward and cranky passengers most likely didn't help her demeanour. "Final destination", she yelled at me. Mr. Smiley was behind me listening in. "Cleveland", I said quietly. "WHAT?" she yelled at me. "Cleveland" I said leaning in. I gave her my previous ticket, hoping that would clear everything up. "You're gonna have to speak up!" she growled back. I again showed her the ticket which she snatched out of my hand and placed it on a pile of papers, she repeated the question. "Final destination!" I tried to explain she could take the information off the ticket I just handed her, but she replied with this nugget of gold, "Who do you think you're talking to! I happen to work here, and I know how to do my job. Final destination!" Reluctantly I told her it was Cleveland, loud enough for her, Mr. Smiley, or anyone else that wanted to know my information. Then the fun started because now she wanted my credit card and I.D. to confirm the previous ticket POS. I had an enjoyable 20 minute discussion with her about my credit card being missing and how easy it would be for her to confirm everything using my passport as reference. People started grumbling behind me, and I'm assuming that can be the only reason she finally gave in and printed out my replacement ticket for the bus which was now leaving at 10:00pm.

I spent the next few hours, crabby, tired, hungry and miserable. How I longed for the warmth and comfort of a cozy bed. I wanted to take my shoes off, but dared not. A few of the bus terminal transients were playing a game called 'name the stain on the floor'. I wanted to take my bra off, but dared not. I knew if I had it would only be a matter of time before I used said bra to strangle someone. Could I ever be that upset? Would I want to risk spending the night in jail? I wonder if prisons in America have nice cozy beds. Probably not. A few hours of waiting and my stomach was growling. I hadn't eaten since the morning. Mr. Smiley came over and offered me a sandwich he bought from the vending machine. He obviously had heard I was out of currency. Reluctantly I snatched the proffered sandwich and choked it down as he proceeded to sit down next to me. Five minutes later he was snoring loudly and slowly leaning closer and closer to my shoulder. That was the time I decided to NOT use the restroom. A second upon entering the toilet, I knew it was a mistake. It smelled worse than Mr. Smiley, there was no tissue, and a spider had decided the back of the tank was a great place to make it's home. No thank you!

Around 10:00 we were allowed onto the bus which I hoped was non-stop to Cleveland. Yes, I know the ticket said it was supposed to be, but I had a hard time taking anything for face value during this trip. As we were lining up, I noticed Mr. Smiley was still snoring loudly. Relief overtook me as I realized he would not be on this bus, his own idiocy would have cost him that. Standing in line, I was ecstatic knowing I would be close to the front. The seedier, degenerate people always tend to sit in the back. I was not one of those people, I was a fine upstanding individual. And yet, suddenly I felt very ashamed. Getting out of line, I walked back to Mr. Smiley and nudged him. He wiped the sleep out of his eyes as I told him the bus was boarding. I quickly took my place in queue while others were still collecting themselves. I sill managed to get a seat close to the front, Mr. Smiley went directly in back. No doubt to sleep more or drink more, I cared not which. One of the last to get on the bus was this rather obnoxious and portly women who refused to sit in the back of the bus, despite those being the only seats available. This was a crowded bus and no other seats in the front were available. Even the carry-ons and laptops had been stowed. I had a young Asian girl sitting next to me, I think she said her name was Kira. She looked scared, terrified and I wasn't even sure if she spoke English. The large women certainly scared the little girl as she continued bellowing out choice colourful metaphors. Eventually, someone relented and went to sit in the back with Mr. Smiley. I wish this rotund women had read chapter four of my book, 'Swearing and Cussing May Get You to the Front of the Plane, But it Won't Make You Any Friends'.

A few hours later, we arrived in Milesburg PA to refuel. I had learned from Kira she was having a traumatic experience of her own. She did speak English but had only been in the country a few years and this was her first trip travelling via bus. Like me, probably her last as well. As the bus took off again, we continued our conversation. Suddenly from the back of the bus, I heard what almost sounded like someone trying to stifle a cough. A few seconds later I was certain it wasn't a cough they were trying to hold in, but their 'lunch'. I'll give you just one guess who suddenly lost all control and vomited explosively. Gasps and shrieks awoke anyone who dared miss the adventure, the bus driver pretended not to notice. Kira turned to look and I suggested she not do so, explaining the man was probably sick. I knew better though. Kind of wish I had this guys address so I could send him my book and make him read chapter nine, "Laughter is the Best Medicine, But Your Doctor Won't Prescribe It For You'.

With the dawning of the sun, my horror story was drawing to a close. We were supposed to have arrived in Cleveland around 4AM, but we had a "quick" stop (45 minutes really) to a way-station so the back of the bus could be cleaned as best as possible. Any liquor Mr. Smiley had was confiscated. I'd like to think Kira still thought he was just 'sick', but I'm sure she knew better. Finally, my trip was over, but I felt bad for Kira. She was continuing her journey, as was Mr. Smiley. She showed me her ticket, her next transfers were Chicago, Milwaukee, Minneapolis, Worthington, then finally South Dakota. The poor sweet child, she'd be travelling for almost another 24 hours. I felt bad for her and gave her my direct phone number. I Told her to call me if she needed anything. As I departed, I again noticed Mr. Smiley snoring away. No, I didn't nudge him this time. I had a hot shower and a change of clothes calling me.

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Professor Sanee resides in Italy
and teaches the course 'the
Ethics of Humour' at I.M.A.
She's also author of the book,
"Why Isn't Anyone Laughing?"