R.a.n.t. of week 06/16/13
1. a horrific globule of matter. - i.e. Semi-truck driver or something similar.
2. a semi-sentient appearing matter, but having no realistic function.
3. a dull, slow-witted, and uninteresting person.
4. an object, having no redeeming qualities.
It's shouldn't be very surprising, but I've never really been happy with my self image. To be honest, ever since childhood I've battled with low self esteem problems. Of course self esteem comes in many forms. Some of the ways a person can feel good or bad about themselves includes looks, accomplishments, personality or social skills. This week, I've decided to touch on these aspects, and how I'm dealing with each. Additionally, there is a semi-quiz involved. How well do you know me?
P.S. The quiz is NOT about Semi's.
A). Driving semi-trucks.
B). Reading fitness magazines.
C). Baking low-fat brownies and cookies.
D). Listening to motivational speakers.
E). Watching 'Biggest Loser' on TV.
F). Working out in my dreams.
G). Planning marathons I'll never run in.
This is the one I have the most problem with. As a youth, I was never happy with my appearance. Being teased and made fun of in school because of my 'goofy' looks never helped the matter much. I look back now and realize it was mostly just mean kids being mean kids, really how many children are EVER happy with their looks (teased or not)? I'm assuming not many, or maybe I really did/do have a problem. In one of those funny twists of life, one thing I hated most about myself was being a 'stick'. My metabolism was so high, I never gained any weight. I was continually teased I would blow away. Anyone remember the ad in the back of comic books where the big tough guy is kicking sand in the scrawny guys face? Yes, I was the model for the scrawny guy. And now, I'm the other extreme. I now have such a hard time taking any weight off. Lately I've been managing to stay below 300 pounds, but just barely. Certainly makes it hard for me to maintain a high self esteem, at least in this area.
A). Semi-truck driver.
D). Green Bay Packer Quarterback.
G). A contestant on Wheel of Fortune.
How often do we look at what we've accomplished in our life and criticize it? Once again, maybe not everyone does, maybe it's just me. But it's true, I criticize myself for lack of accomplishments in my writing. Ever since High School I've wanted to be a writer. Okay, I "AM a writer", I hear you saying. But I have always wondered if I could have done MORE with my writing. Could I have ever published a book if I had applied myself more? Could I have sold a poetry collection? Maybe had an article published in a magazine? Maybe, guess I'll never know unless I actually try some time. And why is it I put off doing so? I guess, that's where the low self esteem comes into play. I'm always worried that what I write, will automatically be rejected by anyone. So why bother? I know that's foolish, I just wish I didn't believe it so much.
A). Swearing like a semi-driver.
B). Believing I'm superior to others.
C). Not having a sense of humour.
D). Loving to belittle others.
E). Being bossy and overbearing.
F). Having an "I don't care" attitude.
G). Always quiet, shy and withdrawn.
Unlike the first two aspects, this one has never bothered me too much. Of all the options in the question, I'd pick being quiet and shy over any of them. Not surprisingly, the rest in the list are things I have to one degree or another, already ranted about. I've never understood the need to use foul language in every sentence. It really just shows a lack of creativity and/or vocabulary. As for the sense of humour, I once knew this girl who never laughed at any of my jokes, and in fact, thought I was making fun of her. No, I really don't try to crack belittling jokes. It's just not my style. Still, being quiet, shy and withdrawn does affect my self esteem. At times I wish I wasn't so much, especially when put in new situations or with new people. Being shy, I have a hard time introducing myself to people and being quiet means I'm not a chatterbox, so have a hard time striking up or maintaining a conversation. How I envy others who do this so well.
C.) Being empathetic
D.) Being kind and courteous.
E.) Being positive.
F.) Being humble.
G.) Crafting semi-truck jokes.
We can all improve in every aspect of our lives, some more than others. I'm not suggesting I have nothing to work on, but maybe some people need to work on a few of these skills more than I do. Like personality, I'm not so distraught over my handling of this topic. Personally, I think I've got very good social skills. True, I may be quiet and shy, but if you get me talking, I'm a motor-mouth. Also, if asked a question, I'll answer and try to find some way to continue the conversation. So why is it some people reply with one word answers, look away or just pretend you didn't ask a question. That's not good communication, and it certainly isn't good listening. By listening to what a person says, you can better identify with the person. If it's not something you can identify with, you can at least be empathetic to what the person is trying to tell you, show concern. If it's something you don't know how to handle, just listening and trying to be supportive may be enough. When you try to show them support, you show yourself to be a kind and courteous person. Keeping these few things in mind will have quite the positive effect on how people view your own social skills. As for being humble? I don't really need to work on this. I know I'm a humble person. In fact I'm so humble, I've actually won awards, and proudly display them in my house..
Quiz Bonus Points are awarded this week if you can identify all four of the blobs.
Answers revealed next week
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