Love & Loss (Part 3)

Then the inevitable happened. Why is it such a bad idea to forge a relationship so early on? Because you are still discovering yourself. As Jenni and I did so we realized we were drawing apart. I became more of a joker as she became a serious stick in the mud. Our relationship soured and we grew to despise each other.

When you break up with someone, you are supposed to do that ritual of exchanging back personal items. "I want my records back" is the classic line. I asked Jenni for any of my writing's I had lent her and she asked for nothing back. She said she doubted she would have left anything of value at my house. I suppose I should have reminded her she wrote an entry in her diary at my house and accidentally left it over.

As the rivalry between the two of us deepened, I couldn't help but to wonder if she forgot about her diary and thought she lost it, or the entries in the diary were not that important to her as they mostly centered around me. Yes, I was a cad. I read her diary. What do you expect? I was 16.

In 1987 the big news was Reagan challenging Gorbachev to tear down the Berlin Wall. But for me, there was even bigger news. Yes, 1987 was when I met Vicki. Kenny told me about her and invited me along next time him and Laura went out. I was hesitant, for obvious reasons. It seemed he was trying to 'set me up'. He claimed I was mopey since Jenni and I broke up.

You probably think the great sorrow suddenly filling my life has something to do with Jenni and nothing with Vicki. But you'd be wrong... so wrong. The bits about Jenni have been to describe my thoughts and feelings leading up to the tragedy. Of course I'll describe it, if I can do so without breaking down in uncontrollable tears.

Part 4 of 30

Love & Loss (Part 2)

I've always heard kids like to torment and tease each other as a form of endearment. That may be true, because Jenni and I became somewhat friends for a few years. But in 1978 (at the end of 2nd grade), her father took a job in Florida. This was the first time Jenni left me.



It shouldn't be hard to spot me. I'm almost exactly in the middle. As usual, almost by myself. Not hard to spot Jenni either. She's the one who looks like she's up to no good.

When you are a child things seem unchangeable. Whether someone arrives in your life or leaves, it seems written in stone for good. Flash forward 7 years. I was beginning my sophomore year in HS. Leaving my home-room I discovered Jenni was in the home-room right next to me. I wasn't certain if I should be glad or sad. Our relationship was always strained, at best.

Anyone that knows me, knows I'm the quiet and shy type. Perhaps it was this, or I was just using that as an excuse, but I decided not to call out to her. I decided it was perhaps for the best. Chances were she was going to be as annoying as she always had been. I headed towards my first class when she called out to me, using my nickname of course. The nickname she knew I was not keen on.

Sometimes I think back and wish I had kept going to my first hour class, I should have just ignored her. But then again, there were many good memories I had with her. To be honest, we became really good friends. So much so, that by 1986 you could almost say we were dating. My Junior year of HS we were a recognized couple.

Part 3 of 30

Love & Loss (Part 1)

Every feel like you've been walking around in a daze? Feels like that for me today. Sometimes it takes horrible news to awaken you. Is that for the best? How can it be? Yes, I received terrible shocking news, the kind that just makes you want to cry. But how can I even begin to explain it?

Back in school, many many years ago. My classmates called me Erick. Don't ask, it was a weird situation. But to explain whats going on in my life I almost have to start at the beginning. I mean the VERY beginning. That's where I first met Jenni. The girl I would later love, and love to hate. I told you, it's kind of complicated.

Jenni and I went to kindergarten together. She introduced herself to me by smacking me in the head with a toy fire-engine. I don't really recall why she did it. Knowing how lippy I was back then, I probably said something that offended her. I learned quickly it didn't take much to offend her.

If Jenni could find a way to annoy me, she would. I'd insist she called me by my given name and she'd insist on calling me Erick along with everyone else. Knowing how much that annoyed me. Every Friday, the teacher would reward one student by letting them bring in one song to play during nap-time. Jenni would bring in Gordon Lightfoot - The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald. Knowing how much I hated that song.

Even now it's hard for me to listen to this song. Kind of makes me want to cry because of the topic of the song, and the emotion that's attached to it for me.

Part 2 of 30

Travel Preperations for London

Well, May is fast approaching and with it my first trip outside the US. Well, I did travel shortly into Canada a few years back. I guess I should say this will be my first trip off the continent. I'm really stoked and can't wait for my travels to begin.

As this is my first major trip, I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed with what I need to do before I leave. Then I need to worry about what I'll actually do once I get to London.

I'm starting to work on two lists. One is a list of things to take care of before heading overseas, and the other list is things to do once I arrive. Following are the few lists I have made so far. (I'll likely keep editing this post as I think of more things or other items are suggested by others.

Things to do before leaving.
Receive and make sure Passport is in order. [Check]
Make flight reservations. [Check]
Make hotel reservations. [Leads on a few nice places]
Prepare check-list of things I'll need. [Work in progress]
Finish itinerary. [Research ongoing]
Purchase luggage. [I'm thinking I'll need one suitcase and a backpack]

Things to do once I arrive.
Visit Paris? - Look into Chunnel travel.
Eiffel Tower
Arc de Triomphe
Louvre

London / England
Thames
London Eye
British Museum
Tower of London
Big Ben
Cardiff?
Dublin?

Yes, it's a work in progress. I will flesh out my plans and am seriously thinking of keeping up my blog as I travel. I'll have to see how economical it will be to bring my laptop computer or the availability of internet cafes.

As always, feel free and please do leave comments or suggestions.

Haiku

Dreary, cloudy day.
Looks like they are here to stay.
Sun has gone away.

Remember?

Do you remember
the time I relate,
so much fun we had
it was really great.

What do you mean
you have no clue,
everything went wrong
you lost your left shoe.

You have to remember
such an embarrassing time,
they brought me the drink
with the rotten lime.

You did not forget
you are winding me up,
remember being peed on
by that adorable pup?

Don't be a buffoon
though I fell in the bay,
we laughed so hard
the very next day.

You surly remember
the fish and chips so bad,
stop denying it all
you're making me mad!

We ended the day
attending the Mecca.
Wait! Now I remember
it was Rebecca!

J.A.Scott

Will you miss me?

Only around,
for a little while longer.
Enjoy me while you can.

Do not treat me,
with hurtful ire, despise my name.
I can make you happy.

Children love me,
despite the pain I will cause them.
You must search for my charm.

I am dying,
in just a few months I am dead.
You may wish I were back.

Will you mourn me?
Will you secretly long for me?
Will you miss my embrace?

J.A.Scott