My Top 25 Favourite Films

I'm participating in Stephen T. McCarthy's 25 Favourite Movie project.
I came to find this was not as easy a task as one might think. First of all, I don't go see films often. Not even when it's a film that interests me. As a result, I had a difficult time thinking of what films I thought were best. In the end, I looked into my DVD cabinet and discovered I own almost 50 films. Well, if I own it, I must like it. So I've gone over what I own, and tried to determine which I felt were my favourites. I have also tried to include a few from the various genres in the cabinet. i.e.; Superhero, Adventure, Western, Sci.Fi., Comedy, Oldie, Disaster or a few others types. I realized I seem to lean more towards sci.fi., campy or goofy comedies. What do you think of the list? Have you seen any on my list? Which ones do you like?
More importantly, I'm wondering which on the list is no surprise to you. And which are surprising to find in my list.



My Top 10 Favourite Films

1. Scavenger Hunt (1979)
Starring: Richard Benjamin, James Coco, Scatman Crothers, Cloris Leachman, Cleavon Little, Roddy McDowall, Robert Morley, Richard Mulligan, Tony Randall, Dirk Benadict, Willie Aames, Stephanie Faracy, Maureen Teefy, Richard Masur
Featuring: Ruth Gordon, Stephen Furst, Vincent Price, Meat Loaf, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Liz Torres, Avery Schreiber
Plot: To inherit a fortune, various addressees of a will must compete in a wild scavenger hunt to collect selected items, but cannot be simply bought.
Quotes
Charles Bernstein: I'm Charles Bernstein. Attorney for the late Milton Parker.
Marvin Dummitz: You mean someone else is late now?

Babbette: Montclair! Montclair! They have killed Montclair!
Jenkins: There, there, Babbette, we will get you another toilet.

2. Back to the Future (1985, 1989, 1990)
Starring: Michael J. Fox, Christopher Lloyd, Thomas F. Wilson, Lea Tompson, Crispin Glover
Plot: A young man is accidentally sent 30 years into the past in a time travelling DeLorean invented by his friend, Dr. Emmett Brown, and must make sure his high-school-age parents unite in order to save his own existence.
Quotes
Marty McFly: So you're my Uncle Joey. Better get used to these bars, kid.

Stella Baines: He's a very strange young man.
Sam Baines: He's an idiot. Comes from upbringing. His parents are probably idiots, too. Lorraine, you ever have a kid who acts that way, I'll disown you.

Marty McFly: Silence, Earthling. My name is Darth Vader. I am an extraterrestrial from the planet Vulcan!

3. Groundhog Day (1993)
Starring: Bill Murray, Andie MacDowell, Chris Elliott
Plot: A weatherman finds himself living the same day over and over again.
Quotes
Phil: Come on, ALL the long distance lines are down? What about the satellite? Is it snowing in space? Don't you have some kind of a line that you keep open for emergencies or for celebrities? I'm both. I'm a celebrity in an emergency.

Phil: Uh, Mrs. Lancaster, uh, was anybody looking for me here this morning? Perhaps a state official? Maybe a blue hat, gun, nightstick?
Mrs. Lancaster: Oh, no, no one like that. Will there be?
Phil: Apparently not.

4. Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)
Starring: Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Eric Idle, Terry Gilliam, Terry Jones, Michael Palin
Plot: King Arthur and his knights embark on a low-budget search for the Grail, encountering many very silly obstacles.
Quotes
Sir Bedevere: What makes you think she's a witch?
Peasant: Well, she turned me into a newt!
Sir Bedevere: A newt?
Peasant 3: ... I got better.

King Arthur: I am your king.
Woman: Well, I didn't vote for you.

King of Swamp Castle: Please! This is supposed to be a happy occasion. Let's not bicker and argue over who killed who.

5. Stalag 17 (1953)
Starring: William Holden, Don Taylor, Otto Preminger, Robert Strauss, Harvey Lembeck, Richard Erdman, Peter Graves
Plot: When two escaping American World War II prisoners are killed, the German POW camp barracks black marketeer, J.J. Sefton, is suspected of being an informer.
Quotes
Triz Trzcinski: I believe it. My wife says, "Darling, you won't believe it, but I found the most adorable baby on our doorstep and I've decided to keep it for our very own. Now you won't believe it, but it's got exactly my eyes and nose." Why does she keep saying I won't believe it? I believe it! I believe it.

Sefton: If I ever run into any of you bums on a street corner, just let's pretend we've never met before.

6. Star Wars (1977, 1980, 1983, 1999, 2002, 2005)
Starring: Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, Peter Mayhew, Billy D Williams, Anthony Daniels, Peter Mayhew, Kenny Baker, Alec Guinness & Liam Neesan, Ewan McGregor, Natalie Portman, Ian McDiarmid, Hayden Christiensen, James Earl Jones (as the voice of Darth Vader)
Plot: Luke Skywalker joins forces with a Jedi Knight, a cocky pilot, a wookiee and two droids to save the universe from the Empire's world-destroying battle-station, while also attempting to rescue Princess Leia from the evil Darth Vader.
Quotes
Princess Leia: Why, you stuck up, half-witted, scruffy-looking Nerf herder.
Han Solo: Who's scruffy-looking?

Anakin Skywalker: I sense Count Dooku.
Obi-Wan Kenobi: I sense a trap.

Admiral Ackbar: It's a trap!

7. A Knight's Tale (2001)
Starring: Heath Ledger, Rufus Sewell, Shannyn Sossamon, Paul Bettany, Laura Fraser, Mark Addy, Alan Tudyk
Plot: After his master dies, a peasant squire, fuelled by his desire for food and glory, creates a new identity for himself as a knight.
Quotes
Wat: I don't understand women.
Chaucer: Nor do I. But they understand us. Well, maybe not you.

Jocelyn: I demand poetry, and when I want it, and I want it now.
William: Your breasts... they're beneath your throat.

Roland: Are you a woman or a blacksmith?
Kate: Sometimes I'm both.

8. Dream Team (1989)
Starring: Michael Keaton, Christopher Lloyd, Peter Boyle, Stephen Furst, Lorraine Bracco
Plot: On the way to a baseball game, sanitarium patients get stranded in New York City after their chaperone is hospitalized and they're being pursued by criminals.
Quotes
Jack: Great! Breakfast. I'm starved.
Henry: That's not ours. That's Ed's.
Jack: Did Ed make the sun shine? Did Ed make the wheat grow?
Henry: I don't know the man.

Billy: Ah, it's great to be young and insane!

Henry: This is Brian's cupcake. Every day an innocent man is deprived of his dessert while we sit here and do nothing.

9. Time Machine (1960)
Starring: Rod Taylor, Alan Young, Yvette Mimieux
Plot: A man's vision for an utopian society is disillusioned when travelling forward into time reveals a dark and dangerous society.
Quotes
George: What have you done? Thousands of years of building and rebuilding, creating and recreating so you can let it crumble to dust. A million years of sensitive men dying for their dreams... FOR WHAT? So you can swim and dance and play.

Filby: If that machine can do what you say it can do, destroy it, George! Destroy it before it destroys you!

10. Napoleon Dynamite (2004)
Starring: Jon Heder, Jon Gries, Aaron Ruell, Efron Ramirez, Tina Majorino
Plot: A listless and alienated teenager decides to help his new friend win the class presidency in their small western high school, while he must deal with his bizarre family life back home.
Quotes
Napoleon Dynamite: Who are you gonna ask?
Pedro: That girl over there.
Napoleon Dynamite: Summer Wheatly? How the heck are you gonna do that?
Pedro: Build her a cake or something.

Napoleon Dynamite: It's a piece of crap it doesn't work!
Uncle Rico: Well, I could've told you that.



The other 15 top movies I like.

11. Rat Race (2001)
Starring: Beckin Meyer, Cuba Gooding Jr., Seth Green, Vince Vieluf, Whoopi Goldberg, Lanei Chapman, Jon Lovitz, Kathy Najimy,John Cleese, Dave Thomas, Amy Smart, Rowan Atkinson
Featuring: Gloria Alred, Paul Rodriguez, Wyane Knight, Dean Cain, Brandy Leford
Plot: An eccentric Las Vegas casino magnate, determined to find a new avenue for wagering, sets up a race for money.
Quotes
Enrico Pollini: Am I too late ? Look I won a coin, a gold coin! Oh, isn't this wonderful? Look at this room, what a beautiful room, have you seen this room?
Randy Pear: Yes! We're in it!

Merrill: I think this is some kind of scam!
Vera Baker: Oh good, a scam! We'll do it!

12. Aliens (1986)
Starring: Sigourney Weaver, Carrie Henn, Michael Biehn, Paul Reiser, Lance Henriksen, Bill Paxton, Jenette Goldstein
Plot: The planet from Alien (1979) has been colonized, but contact is lost. This time, the rescue team has impressive firepower, but will it be enough?
Quotes
Hudson: Hey Vasquez, have you ever been mistaken for a man?
Vasquez: No. Have you?

Ripley:These people are here to protect you. They're soldiers.
Newt:It won't make any difference.

Hudson: That's it, man. Game over, man. Game over!

13. Princess Bride (1987)
Starring: Cary Elwes, Mandy Patinkin, Chris Sarandon, Wallace Shawn, Christopher Guest, Andre the Giant, Robin Wright
Featuring: Peter Falk, Fred Savage, Carol Kane, Billy Crystal, Mel Smith
Plot: While home sick in bed, a young boy's grandfather reads him a story called The Princess Bride.
Quotes
Inigo Montoya: Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

Prince Humperdinck: Surrender.
Westley: You mean you wish to surrender to me? Very well, I accept.

14. Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure (1989)
Starring: Keanu Reeves, Alex Winter, George Carlin, Hal Landon Jr.
Plot: Two seemingly dumb teens struggle to prepare a historical presentation with the help of a time machine.
Quotes
Ted: Okay, the lady in that car over there said that Marco Polo was in the year 1275.
Bill: It's not just a water sport, I knew it!

Ted: Uh, Ms. Preston. We'd like you to meet some of our... friends.
Bill: Yeah. This is Dave Beeth-Oven. And, uh, Maxine of Arc, Missy. Herman the Kid.
Ted: Bob "Genghis" Khan. So-cratz Johnson. Dennis Frood. And, uh, uh... Abraham Lincoln.

15. Unbreakable (2000)
Starring: Bruce Willis, Samuel L. Jackson
Plot: A man learns something extraordinary about himself after a devastating accident.
Quotes
Elijah Price: Do you know what the scariest thing is? To not know your place in this world, to not know why you're here. That's - that's just an awful feeling.

David Dunn: Friends listen to each other! And they don't shoot each other, do they Audrey?
Audrey Dunn: N-... No shooting friends, Joseph...

16. American Graffiti (1973)
Starring: Richard Dreyfuss, Ron Howard, Paul le Mat, Charles Martin Smith, Cindy Williams, Candy Clark, Mackenzie Phillips
Featuring: Wolfman Jack, Harrison Ford, Suzanne Summers
Plot: A couple of high school grads spend one final night cruising the strip with their buddies before they go off to college.
Quotes
Carol: Your car is uglier than I am! Uh... that didn't come out right.

Terry Fields: Let me have a Three Musketeers, and a ball point pen, and one of those combs there, a pint of Old Harper, a couple of flash light batteries and some beef jerky.

17. Three Amigos (1986)
Starring: Steve Martin, Chevy Chase, Martin Short, Patrice Martinez
Plot: Three unemployed actors accept an invitation to a Mexican village to replay their bandit fighter roles, unaware that it is the real thing.
Quotes
Juanita: Which one do you like?
Carmen: I like the one that's not so smart.
Juanita: Which one is that?

El Guapo: Are gringos falling from the sky?
Jefe: Yes, El Guapo.

18. Poseidon Adventure (1972)
Starring: Gene Hackman, Ernest Borgnine, Red Buttons, Carol Lynley, Roddy McDowall, Stella Stevens, Shelley Winters
Plot: A group of passengers struggle to survive and escape when their ocean liner completely capsizes at sea.
Quotes
Linda Rogo: What happened?
Reverend Frank Scott: We've turned over.

Robin Shelby: I'm sorry Mrs. Rosen, I didn't mean it to sound like that.
Mrs. Belle Rosen: What, I miss something?
Robin Shelby: When I said I helped my dad pull in a 600 pound swordfish. I didn't mean that I thought you weighed that much.
Mrs. Belle Rosen: All that's going on and THAT'S what you're worried about?

19. The Good, The Bad and The Ugly (1966)
Starring: Clint Eastwood, Eli Wallach, Lee van Cleef
Plot: A bounty hunting scam joins two men in an uneasy alliance against a third in a race to find a fortune in gold buried in a remote cemetery.
Quotes
Blondie: You see, in this world there's two kinds of people, my friend: Those with loaded guns and those who dig. You dig.

Tuco: Don't die, I'll get you water. Stay there. Don't move, I'll get you water. Don't die until later.

Blondie: It's not a joke, it's a rope, Tuco. Now I want you to get up there and put your head in that noose.

20. Star Trek II: The Wrath of Kahn (1982)
Starring: William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy, Ricardo Montalban, Deforest Kelley
Plot: With the assistance of the Enterprise crew, Admiral Kirk must stop an old nemesis, Khan Noonien Singh, from using a life-generating device, the Genesis Device, as the ultimate weapon.
Quotes
Khan: I've done far worse than kill you. I've hurt you. And I wish to go on hurting you. I shall leave you as you left me, as you left her; marooned for all eternity in the center of a dead planet... buried alive! Buried alive...!
Kirk: KHAAANNNN!

McCoy: Where are we going?
Kirk: Where they went.
McCoy: Suppose they went *nowhere*?
Kirk: Then this will be your big chance to get away from it all.

21. Jurassic Park (1993)
Starring: Sam Neil, Laura Dern, Jeff Goldbloom, Richard Attenborough, Samuel L. Jackson, Wayne Knight
Plot: During a preview tour, a theme park suffers a major power breakdown that allows its cloned dinosaur exhibits to run amok.
Quotes
John Hammond: All major theme parks have delays. When they opened Disneyland in 1956, nothing worked!
Dr. Ian Malcolm: Yeah, but, John, if The Pirates of the Caribbean breaks down, the pirates don't eat the tourists.

Dennis Nedry: Dodgson!
Lew Dodgson: You shouldn't use my name.
Dennis Nedry: Dodgson! Dodgson! We've got Dodgson here! Nobody cares. Nice hat. What are you trying to look like, a secret agent?

22. Mars Attacks (1996)
Starring: Jack Nicholson, Glenn Close, Annette Bening, Pierce Brosnon, Danny Devito, Martin Short, Sarah Jessica Parker, Michael J. Fox, Rod Steiger, Tom Jones, Lukas Haas, Natalie Portman, Jim Brown, Lisa Marie
Plot: Earth is invaded by Martians with unbeatable weapons and a cruel sense of humor.
Quotes
President Dale: I want the people to know that they still have 2 out of 3 branches of the government working for them, and that ain't bad.

Martian Translator Device: We come in peace! We come in peace!

23. Cannonball Run (1981)
Starring: Burt Reynolds, Roger Moore, Farrah Faucet, Dom DeLuise, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr., Jack Elam, Terry Bradshaw, Adrienne Barbeau, Jackie Chan, Bert Convy, Jamie Farr
Plot: A wide variety of eccentric competitors participate in a wild and illegal cross-country road race. However, the eccentric entrants will do anything to win the road race, including low-down, dirty tricks.
Quotes
J.J. McClure: I'm sure that doctor's a very sweet man, basically.
Victor Prinsi: Oh, thank you.
J.J. McClure: But don't you ever tell me where you found him. Ever.

J.J. McClure: Excuse me. Excuse me. Hey, Mad Dog!
Mad Dog: Hey, J.J!
J.J. McClure: Look, you probably didn't realize this, but the parking lot's outside.

24. Flash Gordon (1980)
Starring: Sam J. Jones, Melody Anderson, Max von Sydow, Topol, Timothy Dalton, Brian Blessed
Plot: A football player and his friends travel to the planet Mongo and find themselves fighting the tyranny of Ming the Merciless to save Earth.
Quotes
Prince Vultan: GORDON'S ALIVE!

Princess Aura: Look! Water is leaking from her eyes.
The Emperor Ming: It's what they call tears, it's a sign of their weakness.

Princess Aura: But my father has never kept a vow in his life!
Dale Arden: I can't help that, Aura. Keeping our word is one of the things that make us... better than you.

25. Superman II (1980)
Starring: Christopher Reeve, Margo Kiddder, Gene Hackman, Ned Beatty, Jackie Cooper, Jack O'Halloran
Plot: Superman agrees to sacrifice his powers to start a relationship with Lois Lane, unaware that three Kryptonian criminals he inadvertently released are conquering Earth with the help of Lex Luthor.
Quote
General Zod: We have no more use for this one. Kill him.
Lex Luthor: Me? Lex Luthor? General, you came to me with nothing. I gave you Superman!

Clark Kent: General, would you care to step outside?
General Zod: Come to me, son of Jor-El, kneel before Zod!

The Listing Hop - Top Five Favourite Songs

I was recently with a group of friends when the topic of top five favourite songs came up. A few had a hard time deciding what to put on their top five, one had songs they liked, but couldn't remember the names of the artists. The interesting thing is, it doesn't matter if you remember the names of the artists, or if you can fill out your top five favourite songs on a moments notice. It doesn't even matter what the top five songs are. The thing is essentially a Kobayashi Maru test. (A no-win test that judges a persons internal character) There is no right way to answer the question correctly. But in this case, it's a test of determining what sort of music you listen to. A lot can be told about a person by the music they listen to. However, the question never got around to me. So you can say I got off "Scott" free. But I started wondering and created my top five list. So when I agreed to do this listing hop, I thought it would be a good time to explore my top five favourite songs. The list may surprise a few people (for what is or is not included), but there are specific reasons I have chosen the songs I have chosen and I shall explain.

Top Five Favourite Songs
5. Bond - 1812 Overture - I love this song as performed by Bond because it's always motivating and inspiring. Even when I'm in a lazy mood, when I play this song, I'm suddenly energized and raring to go. It's my go-to song for when I jog.

4. Beatles - Hard Days Night - I would be remiss if I didn't throw in a Beatles song. The Beatles were an amazing band and help revolutionize the music industry. As a Beatles fan, this is my favourite. Though if you ask me, it could use more cowbell.

3. Blondie - The Tide is High - "Wow! That is an odd choice", I hear you say. Though I do love the group Blondie, there is a specific reason I have this included in my list. It was the early 80s and I was sitting in my living room when suddenly a guy across the street walked past with his ghetto blaster blairing. The song at the time was this one. It was so catchy, I ran to see if I could find it on a radio station. Side note, till I heard this song, I never listed to music on the radio. So this is the song that got me interested in listening to music on the radio. I was probably 15 at the time.

2. Huey Lewis - The Power of Love - Unsurprisingly, another of my favourite 80s. Unlike the other selections, this song is chosen because for me, it typifies 80s music which I have come to love so dearly. There is no coincidence this is also the signature song from one of my favourite films as well. Can you guess it?

1. Michael Bublé - Haven't Met You Yet - One of only a few songs where I absolutely love the video as well as the song. As a single guy, I'm still looking for that one special lady. There has to be at least one special person for everyone. Shouldn't there be? But the problem is I've broken my hear so many times I've stopped keeping track. But I believe she is out there. Wherever she is and whenever it's right, she'll come out of nowhere and into my life. And I know we are going to be so amazing, and her love is going to change me. But I just haven't met her yet. One day I shall.

Top Five Questions:
5. What song really motivates you?
4. What song do you feel revolutionized music?
3. Do you remember a song that got you into music?
2. What is your favourite genre of music?
1. Which song best fits your life?
Bonus Question: Who did you think you would see on this list that you didn't see?

Perhaps I shall do a follow-up post indicating who my top five favourite artists are and why.
Hint: My top artists will not ALL be in that list.

Thanks for stopping by and visiting me on this Listing Hop.
For other cool and fantastic lists, visit the hosts of this blog hop.
Host - Bish Denham
Co-Host - Alex J. Cavanaugh

Battle of the Bands Results - The Lazy Song

In line with this weeks song, I'm going to be lazy and just post the results. No play by play action this week. I'm too lazy to do an in-depth report. Also no photo.
Round One goes to Bruno Mars:
Bruno Mars votes: Arlee, Holli, Robin & Debbie
Kimmi & Jake: Shady
Total: Bruno Mars 4 / Kimmi and Jake 1

Round Two goes to Kimmi & Jake
Bruno Mars votes: Stephanie and Tammy
Kimmi & Jake votes: Hilary, Madilyn, Michele & Janie
Total: Bruno Mars 6 / Kimmi and Jake 5

Round Three goes to Bruno Mars
Bruno Mars votes: Cherdo, FAE, Stephen, Cathy & Birgit
Total: Bruno Mars 11 / Kimmi and Jake 5

Round Four goes to Kimmi & Jake
Bruno Mars votes: Dixie and The Armchair Squid
Kimmi & Jake votes: Guilie, Dolorah, Mike & Jeffrey Scott
Total: Bruno Mars 13 / Kimmi & Jake 9

Congratulations Bruno Mars!

Top Comments

Arlee Bird -Jake and Kimmi do a very capable cover, but it is a bit too true in its coverishness and a bit too cutesy for me. Now let me go back to bed and be lazy.

Shady Del Knight – You are one lazy dude, Jeffrey! When I listened to version #1 by Kimmi & Jake, the sweetness made my teeth ache.

Debbie D. - Kimmi's voice makes me grimace.

Madilyn Quinn - I guess I'll give my vote to Kimmi and Jake, if just not to vote for Bruno Mars haha

Michele Truhlik - Lol! You cracked me up with your lazy post! I think I like the blend of the male/female vocals with Kimmi and Jake. I liked both videos too.

Stephanie Faris - She has an amazing voice, but how can you beat Bruno Mars? Although the gorillas have always been a little disturbing.

Tammy - I vote for Bruno. I love this song, it goes through my head every morning! lol

Janie Junebug - I am so tired, and I want to be lazy. Then I hear Kimmi's voice. Suddenly I want to get up to dance. I vote for the first contenders.

FAE - Anyone who appears with monkeys in their video gets my vote. Most fun BATTLE of the day.

Stephen T. McCarthy - Well, that first version was just so damned sweet that I immediately made an appointment with the dentist.

Birgit - The first version gave me the shakes...because I had too much sugar:)

Dixie - OH Jeffrey! The Lazy Song and yet, now I feel energized. Help!

Guilie -BoTB this time seems to have hit on pretty much my top 5 Most Hated Songs of All Time. The only thing I dislike more than the actual song here is Mr. Bruno himself.

dolorah - I'll have to remember those Chimps for the next time I don't feel like an actual post, lol. Watching them was loads of fun.


Winners Circle
Congratulations to Bruno Mars
A few people felt energized and wanting to dance this week. So for the winners circle, her are 100 movies dancing along with Bruno Mars in Uptown Funk.


Thanks to everyone who stopped by and placed a vote.
Come back again for a new battle November 1st.
Who will you vote for?
What song will I choose?
Which artists will battle it out?
Stay tuned.

Don't forget to visit the other participants in the Battle of the Band to see who won their battles.

FAR AWAY SERIES
STMcC PRESENTS 'BATTLE OF THE BANDS'
TOSSING IT OUT
WOMEN: WE SHALL OVERCOME
YOUR DAILY DOSE
BOOK LOVER
MIKE'S RAMBLINGS
CURIOUS AS A CATHY
DCRELIEF - BATTLE OF THE BANDS
THE DOGLADY'S DEN
CHERDO ON THE FLIPSIDE
ANGELS BARK
NOVEL BREWS
QUIET LAUGHTER
HOLLI'S HOOTS AND HOLLERS
JINGLE JANGLE JUNGLE
THE SOUND OF ONE HAND TYPING

Are you currently in the BOTB and don't see your name in the list above? Let me know in comments and I'll include it.

It's 2015, Do You Know Where Your Hydrator Is?

I'm posting this entry from the past.
My bloggers flux capacitor is primed and ready.
Posting this entry now, and should be seen October 21, 2015
The same date Doc Brown and Marty arrive from the past. November 5, 1985
If my calculations are correct. When this post hits 88 comments, you're going to see some serious wit.


R.a.n.t. of week 01/04/15

According to the film, Back To The Future II, 2015 is an exciting time for us. We have a plethora of awesome inventions making our life simpler, cooler and more enjoyable. Take the Black and Decker Food Hydrator. Gone are the days of heating up the oven to 350°, placing a frozen pizza in the oven and waiting twelve minutes. Now we simply place a dehydrated pizza into the hydrator (which is voice activated mind you), tell it to cook at level four and wait a mere twelve seconds before taking the piping hot pizza out, already sliced. The only draw-back of this model is it's not as fast as those new models which can accomplish the same task is just six seconds, but boy oh boy, your mother will sure know how to hydrate a pizza.

Unfortunately, a few days ago, I had a bad experience at Target. When I asked where I might find a food hydrator the sales clerk just laughed at me. So it appears Back to the Future lied to us! All those great inventions they promised us do not actually exist. Whoa! That's heavy! And yes, to all you who are about to point out to me that it's just a movie and I should not get overly excited about all this, I do know that. It's just a bit of fun. If you truly want to be over critical of my blog post, you can make like a tree and get out of here!

Other inventions we won't see in 2015.

Fashion (Part One) Self Adjusting Jacket

This brings new meaning to 'one size fits all'. No more worrying about finding a jacket that fits just right. Every jacket in 2015 will be the perfect fit. This particular one comes with the additional feature of drying itself, so never worry about being caught in the rain. (If that's a problem for you, perhaps you should pay more attention to the weather service.)

Fashion (Part Two) Ties

Gone are the boring days of wearing a single silk tie. Now we can wear two ties at once. Ever have a problem deciding which tie goes best with your suit? Now you don't have to decide, wear both ties. Or in a few rare occasions, you can still wear a single tie, just make sure the tie is invisible, or clear at the very least.


Our list will continue in just a minute. But first...

We are back!

Fashion (Part Three) Nike w/ Power Laces

Never bend over to tie your shoes again. With Power Laces, you simply place your foot in the shoe and the power laces do the job for you. Comfortable and secure shoes are now the norm. Never be fooled that your shoes is untied ever again.

 Hover Tech (Part One) Automatic Dog Walker

Back in my day, when we had a dog, we had to take care of it. If the dog wanted to go out, we had to take him, when he went poo, we had to pick it up, when he wanted to be petted, we had to pet it. You kids are spoiled these days. You can have a dog and not have to give it any attention.

Hover Tech (Part Two) Hovercam

On the plus side, hovercams can go where they are needed as quickly as possible. Additionally, they can go to remote areas hard to get at. Having many on stand-by hovering over the city, they can be where the action is almost immediately. Bad news is, Jimmy Olsen is out of a job.

Hover Tech (Part Three) Hover Conversion

Tired of sitting in traffic on the roads? Get a hover conversion and you can sit in traffic in the air. Getting from point A to point B has never been easier, and you can get there as the crow flies. Goldie Wilson III can install an affordable conversion for only $39,999.95. BEWARE! Some con-artists will try to sell you a Hoover Conversion. Mayor Goldie Wilson wanted to clean up this town, but I don't think that was what he had in mind.

Hover Tech (Part Four) Hoverboard

Doing tricks and being slick was never easier. Whether you are using a Mattel, No Tech or Rising Sun brand, you are likely to find the right board for you. Just remember, a hoverboard does not work on water, unless you've got power. For that, I'd suggest the Pit-bull.

Holo Tech (Part One) Holobillboards

Remember back in the day when billboards were just large paper advertisements? Everything had to be written and there was no automatic updates when needed. With holobillboards, we can hear additional information about acquiring hover conversion and how things used to be in the past. Or how about automatic updates when our favourite team wins the World Series! I hear the Milwaukee Brewers are favoured to win in 2016.

Holo Tech (Part Two) Holomax Theater

Why just watch a movie when you can experience it? Holomax theaters make you feel like you are right in the thick of things. In Star Wars XII you can BE the Jedi. Indiana Jones VIII lets you accompany Indy on his perilous journeys. Go head to head with Rocky in Rocky XIII. Want to know what it's like to be eaten by a shark? See Jaws XIX. Be forewarned though, reviews say the shark still looks fake.


We will return to our blog post, but first a word from our sponsor

We now continue the blog post.

Binocular Card

Small enough to fit in your back pocket and advanced enough to zoom in clearly. Utilizing the photographic feature of this binocular card makes it perfect for bird watching. Get it? Bird watching? Well, my friends in the UK will understand.

Bionic Implants

We can rebuild man, we have the technology. Better, stronger, faster. Of course for peak performance, a decent upgrade can cost upwards of six million dollars. Or you can go the bargain basement route. Unfortunately, you get what you pay for and should expect a few short circuits in your bionic implants.

Garden Center

Tired of buying fruits at the super market only to have them go bad in a day or so? Of course not, you have the Garden Center. Fruits grown at home and preserved for just the moment you crave a bunch of grapes, apple or whatever else you decide to plant. No worries about the time it takes, the Garden Center does most of the work for you. Besides, you have extra time, you no longer have to walk the dog.

Master-Cook

Don't know how to cook? Who does? We have Master-Cooks now, so who has to? The Master-Cook is fully stocked with recipes of all sorts, helps with the preparing and cooking as well. Still having problems? Well, you can always hydrate a pizza.

Home Energy Reactor

"Never take the trash out again!" Remember that slogan when Mr. Fusion first came out? That caught every guys attention right away. But it's true, with your own home energy reactor you can turn your garbage into energy. Let the wife nag you all she wants about eating too many bananas and drinking too much beer. You know you are just doing your part to keep your homes energy level maxed out. Tell her to leave you alone and go watch her soaps.

Illuminated Parking

Back in the old days, you had to search hi and low for signs which indicated where you could or could not park. Not so any more. You'd have to be colour blind to get a ticket now. If the curb is blue - there's parking for you. If the curb is red - park up ahead.

Pepsi Perfect

Vitamin enriched soda. My grandfather had to eat cereal if he wanted to get all his daily allowance of vitamins and minerals. Now you can make Pepsi a 'Perfect' part of this complete dinner.

Rejuvenation Clinic

Add years to your life at a rejuvenation clinic. When you get a natural overhaul, you never again have to worry about a botched facelift. Are you looking for something simple like hair repair? We can do that. Or perhaps you need a spleen or colon replaced. Yes, we can do that do. You will feel and look years younger. Just don't spook the kids or animals when you get home with how much more different you'll look.


Once again, we are taking a break to pay our bills.

Welcome back to our blog post.

Scenery Channel

Technology that's really not that futuristic. The biggest problem is finding an actual need. Will watching a display screen over your window convince you you have been transported into a nicer neighbourhood, or one of your favourite locations overseas? Would the cost of the screen and the subscription to the scenery channel make you feel any more relaxed? Certainly the scenery channel repairmen won't. Typically they like to make fun of you and call you a chicken, for whatever reason.

Sleep Inducing Alpha Rhythm Generator

Ugggghhh, my wife hates me! After a hard day of work installing the scenery channel at losers house-holds, she makes me walk the dog, then put the kids to bed. Fortunately my sleep inducing alpha rhythm generator helps knock the kids out in ten seconds flat. Next she'll be asking me to hydrate a pizza as soon as I walk in the door. Oh great! Now she wants to talk about her day. I'll rant later, I need to go charge my sleep inducing alpha rhythm generator. Time for some quiet time. For her or for me, not sure which yet.

Automated Service Stations

Have your windows washed, oil changed, gas filled landing gear checked, all at the same time. Never before in history has going to the service station been any easier. And you never have to get out of your car. Compu-serve comes right to your window where you can pay with just a press of your thumb. Thank you. Please come again.

Thumbprint Technology

Once upon a time, we had to carry an odd assortment of items along with us wherever we went. Keys, credit cards, identification cards, money, so on and so forth. Now all we need is our thumb print. If we want to enter our homes, we just scan our thumb. Finished shopping at the store? Scan your thumb. Start our cars? Scan our thumb. Police need to know who we are if they find us tranked in a back alley somewhere? They can scan our thumb. Historical society badgering us for funds to preserve the clock tower? Just thumb them $100 bucks to shut them up. Transient begging us for money? Hit the road! Just be careful, there are thumb bandits out there. They won't steal your wallet, but they might steal your thumb.

Video Glasses

An essential part of any teenagers life. Video glasses make it easier to cut off the rest of the family and pretend they don't exist, than ever before. If you want to watch a few channels of television in privacy or you just want to chat with a friend or two. Check out our beautiful model displaying her video glasses. All the cool kids have one, and you have to believe that, because it's posted on the internet.

Video Waiter Simulacrum

Remember when Max Headroom was all the rage? No? Well, if you blinked in the 80s then you missed it. Despite that, these Max Headroom inspired video waiters are ready to serve you. Ronald Reagan is anxious to take your order. But watch out, Ayatollah Khomeini wants you to have the 'Hostage Special' and he doesn't care who he has to push out of the way to make sure you get exactly what you want, as long as it's what he wants you to have. A Michael Jackson video waiter is also available and he'll be thrilled to take your order too. Want an egg? He'll Beat It any way you want it. Sorry, was that joke Bad? Don't blame me, It was Billie Jean's fault. Can you fault her? It's only Human Nature. (These jokes just get worse and worse).

Video Phone

Another invention not so far off the mark. Scype anyone? However, a video phone is not exactly a standard feature in most homes, certainly not one that gives off personal details of who you are talking to. Seriously, do we really need to know how many kids our phone acquaintance has? Or their job, or address, or food preferences, or vital statistics or body measurements? No wonder Needles is such a jerk.

Weather Service

More reliable than the postal system, the weather service accurately predicts the weather to the tick. But it not only predicts the weather, it makes the weather. Worried about a coming blizzard? Don't be. All of this moisture coming up out of the Gulf is gonna push off to the east and hit Altoona. Do you remember life before the weather service? We also had to worry about sub-zero temperatures in the Winter. Glad that's not a problem any more.

Battle of the Bands - The Lazy Song

Sometimes I feel lazy. Like finding the perfect picture for my blog post, or finding an awesome song for the Battle of the Bands feature. Or coming up with something unique  to say about the vidoes I'm posting. Not today. Today I'm just too lazy.
In other words: Here's two songs. Vote!

Kimmi Smiles & Jake Broido


Bruno Mars



Pasted from my last battle. Don't feel like writing this out today.
Those are the two contenders. Ignoring the actual videos, who do you think performs the song best? I collected the two bands to battle it out, now it's your job. Time to vote on your favourite. Please vote for your preferred song choice and let me know in the comments. Additionally, let me know why you feel the way you do. Voting ends on the 8th when I'll cast my own vote and announce the winner in a separate posting.

Additional Questions:
Are you lazy sometimes?
Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah?
Yaddda Yadda Yadda?
Ask me a question today. I'm lazy and can't think of any more.

Did you enjoy this Battle of the Bands feature? Come back on 15th October when I'll have a new battle. Also, be sure to check out my friends below who have banded together to offer up their own musical battles.

FAR AWAY SERIES
STMcC PRESENTS 'BATTLE OF THE BANDS'
TOSSING IT OUT
WOMEN: WE SHALL OVERCOME
YOUR DAILY DOSE
BOOK LOVER
MIKE'S RAMBLINGS
CURIOUS AS A CATHY
DCRELIEF - BATTLE OF THE BANDS
THE DOGLADY'S DEN
CHERDO ON THE FLIPSIDE
ANGELS BARK
NOVEL BREWS
QUIET LAUGHTER
HOLLI'S HOOTS AND HOLLERS
JINGLE JANGLE JUNGLE
THE SOUND OF ONE HAND TYPING

Are you currently in the BOTB and don't see your name in the list above? Let me know in comments and I'll include it.

Random Rants - III

R.a.n.t. of week 10/12/15

I've been ranting for (four) years now, but every once in a while I like to see what is irritating other people. This is where Random R.a.n.t.s comes in. Once a year I like to turn to Twitter and see what other people are ranting about. I certainly can't be the only one complaining all the time. Right? In true R.A.N.T. fashion (rage against nothing, typically), some of the rants I discovered from September are small and petty. No worries, that's what a good rant is about. And yet, several people I know have made fun of me for r.a.n.t.s. Well, turn about is fair play. Below are my third annual random rants, along with humorous retorts provided by yours truly. Enjoy the session and look below for information on how you too can join in on the fun once a month.

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S. Cook ‏ - Im so rude to cold callers its unbelievable! Not being funny though but if I wanted your product don't you think Id ring you myself!
>What if they were selling a book on funny ways to deal with cold callers? I might actually buy that from them.

B. Skrabanek - Why does curry always get such a bad rap? My apartment reeks of it tonight and it's absolutely divine.
>Why the bad rep? REEK - [rēk] VERB to smell strongly and unpleasantly.

T. Plumpton - The roadworks are ridiculous at Temple @CornwallCouncil not a single worker in sight! Also the new car park phone system is a pain!
>Please, only one rant per customer.

A. Bensing - I wish people would be honest with me, instead of this tip toe through the tulips bull crap
>Great, now I have Tiny Tim's song running through my head.

L. Williamson - It feels like every week new 'rare' photos of the #Beatles are released. How many more 'rare' photos are there?
>42

J. Gromest - I have come to the conclusion that people from Maryland don't know how to drive.
>Oddly I was just thinking the same thing about Wisconsin people.

L. White - don't hate me for this, but I'm so bored of Clara! WE NEED A NEW COMPANION ALREADY (pick me pick me pick me pick me)
>Sounds like she'll be gone soon enough. Personally, I'll miss her. I just hope they don't kill her off.

Max - Not happy with the trend in modern dramatic TV series of killing main characters after they fulfill their plot role.
>I hate when they do that in comic books. But then again, no super hero has ever truly died, have they? That's just as annoying.

B. Sachan - Here we go again. Food blogger = a person who WRITES a blog dedicated to all things food. Blog =a regularly updated website. WEBSITE.
>Feel free to follow my blog. Why only last month I was ranting about rotten fruit.

Sher - Why are there never coupons for fruit??? Grapes are expensive and necessary in my diet. Ugh!
>If only there was a food blogger who discussed this topic. I hate how expensive fruit is too, especially when it's rotten when you eat it.

KewlBabe - Getting tired of the @USPS paying for 2 day shipping only for it not to be there in 2 days, not even 3 days, today makes the 4th day.
>Where you using The United States Procrastinators System again?

Nerdarchy - I'm tired of "articles" where you have to click, click, click to view next piece of content- it's just a scam to up click rates!
>I hate those as well, so I'm not even going to joke about this. But if you really, really want to see my joke on this, click to the next article.

Nicole - Rage cleaning is a thing I do. In fact, I am doing it right now. I need to put on some music and dance like no one is watching.
>I hope using your tweet upsets you. My house could use a good cleaning. Stop over any time you want.

Mac - When did "used cars" turned into "pre-owned vehicles"? It's still the same thing.
>It's a politically correct phrase. Hey, cars are people too. Right mother?

Anna ‏- Drive thru rules:if ur ordering the whole store GO inside (this way u dont hold up the drive thru line)
>And who trained the cashiers to give you the bills first, then place the change on top. Making all your change fall to the ground. Drive Thru - Certainly a First World Problem if I ever saw one.

I. McDermott - I thought @jimmyjohns were the guys with the fast delivery, until they were 18 minutes late with my order and made me late for class.
>You think that is bad? I was at their drive through the other day and the guy in front must have been ordering every sub in the place. That was freaky and I waited a freaky long time for my sub.

Ray ‏- Does anyone know a place online where I can #rant in private? Like #real private.
>If you want real private try this. Pen, Journal, Bedroom. Can't get any more private than that. Unless you want t go find a cave to write in somewhere.

DiceShamingIsAThing ‏- Ugh that was rough. Lost the wizard. Had to spend cash on his res. Got no prestige. No items. GM screwed us at a couple points. Ugh.
>For my joke reply, please roll 2D6 and tell me the results. If you have a +2 jocular sword, let me know.

Patti - Here's an idea: let's pay for groceries @ pharmacy so u can hold up the line waiting for .....oh yeah PRESCRIPTIONS!!!!
>Just to get back at everyone, you should pay for your medicine in cosmetics.

TФDD ИФΔLL - Quit apologizing because you haven't posted in a while. No one noticed/cared.
>It's been 13 months since my last random rants and no one has noticed or cared? :'(

J. Brown - Signal lights - use them to tell people what you WANT to do, not what you're ABOUT to do. They're useless if you don't.
>It's like, "In case you couldn't tell, I'm turning." Yes, we know.

J. V. Relph - After spending hours in a movie theater, I'm left to wonder if they ever shampoo those damn chairs *feeling itchy*
>This might be one of my subconscious reasons why I don't go very often, Alex J. Cavanaugh.

K. Barth - I really hate home owner associations. Nit pick over the stupidest stuff.
>Isn't nit-pick supposed to be hyphenated?

E. Olmstead - don't tell me you're an animal lover but you still eat meat
>Would this be a bad time to mention I always thought PETA stood for People Eating Tasty Animals?

Aharon - Cannot understand why Profs find it surprising that students could fall sick. Should ask them to try the mess food.
>Hey, who's writing the jokes around here? Stop stealing mine.

Faith Guy - What does community college have in common with Mars? Well there's no intelligent life there, but people still keep trying to go!
>Perhaps they really enjoy the food in the mess hall.

M. Aprison - I know it shouldn't bother me so much but my name is Margaret. It's not Marge or Margie or Mags. It's Margaret.
>So I guess Large Marge is inappropriate too? I'll let Pee-Wee know.

A. Carney - It's 75 and sunny out. I don't understand these people at the gym running on treadmills.
>No kidding, it's a perfect day for an ice cream on the beach.

Barrister Moses - When a person drinks alcohol, everyone says he's alcoholic but when I drink Fanta no one says I'm fantastic.
>Can I hire you next year for the next random rants article?

Craig - NO Voters must feel like right idiots. They're the type that actually give their bank details to the Nigerian Lottery winning Prince
>Why is it a bad thing to give my bank details to the Nigerian Lottery board? I've won and soon they are going to forward £2,500,000 into my account. First I have a clearing fee of £1,000 to give them and another transfer fee of £500. But then the money is all mine!!!!

Brewstock - Anyone see @CervezaModeloMX advertising the clear bottles their beer comes in? It helps "show its character" and skunk your beer!
>Maybe their campaign character should be Pepé Le Pew.

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Do you like to r.a.n.t. too?

A few people have wondered where my R.a.n.t. series has gone. It really hasn't gone anywhere. It's still here. But having joined a few blog hops and working on my own short story series, my time for writing has been cut drastically. So I had a thought. What about ranting once a month?

When will I be ranting?
I'm hoping to write the second Monday of each month. This way I only need to write one r.a.n.t. a month.

Can I join in on the fun?
YES! I'm interested in reading what other people are r.a.n.t.ing about.

How do I join you?
Grab the banner below and let me know you are interested.

What should I r.a.n.t. about?
What you want to complain about. Preferably, something that's been bugging you lately.
Examples: Your writing - the supermarket - annoying people. The sky is the limit.
If you need additional suggestions, re-read the random rants above.

*Please note. This article is not my typical format. I only do random rants once a year.

This is the banner I've created. Thoughts? Anyone interested in joining?

See you all next month for my next r.a.n.t. article.
November 9th