Random Rants - IV

R.a.n.t. of month November, 2016

It's coming back! That's right, my R.A.N.T. feature is coming back. I've gotten so engrossed in musical posts lately, I've let my other love (ranting) fall by the way-side. Well, it's finally back.

And what better way to get into the swing of things, than with my annual Random Rants feature. Yes, every 13 month I head over to Twitter and give the job of ranting to you. (Can you believe this is the fourth year)? It's fun listening to other people rant for a change and I don't have to do the hard work of preparing a rant. Truth be told, it's a lot more work than coming up with my own. And, of course, I try to come up with some humorous and/or witty responses.

Note: I didn't say I'm successful (at writing humorous and witty), I said I try.

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(Random) Random Rants
@stinestinks - I like to rant. I was on Big Brother 16 or something.
You like to rant too? I knew there was a reason I liked you season 16.

@chakri_iiith - Life, is sometimes like the game Jenga, you make one wrong move and it all comes crashing down.
I always thought life was more like the Game of Life from Milton Bradley.

@hello_andi - when I feel like waiting 2 hours, have none of my questions answered, and leave with a still-glitching phone, I visit a #sprint store
Now I know where to go when I feel like that next time.

@rahimaxarsenal - I don't understand people who plagiarise jokes and pass them off as their own. I may be unfunny but at least I'm original.
I agree, it's as ridiculous as a box of Grape Nuts. I looked inside a box once, no grapes, no nuts. What's the deal with that?

@TARDISArchives - I can't watch a scene of Doctor Who with Donna Noble in it without the urge to rant about how AMAZING SHE IS
(rant) I do not think that word means what you think it means.
(But I agree, Donna is amazing!)


Grammar Department
@MarkMolloy - I really dislike writing "that that" in a sentence - how is this allowed in the English language?
It's not that that is allowed, it's that some people don't care how awkward it sounds. Trust me, there are worse things afflicting the English language...

@summertimedrive - Here's the think like you know what you're doing dude like you're not dumb you
...for example this sentence. I think my IQ just dropped 10 points.

@deanashraf - So I can be trusted to pay for all items I pick up in a shop, but I have to ask for a 5p bag? I KNOW THEY'RE ARE 5P IT'S BEEN A YEAR
And then... "They are are". Almost as bad as Michael Scott's "ASAP as possible."


Time is Money Department
@davidmarsh - Do you have time critical information to pass on? Just send an email and then sit around for hours waiting without saying a word.
Sorry about that. I guess an email was not the best way to let everyone know the building was on fire.

@AldWells - If you wanted something urgently don't give it to me two days ago knowing it takes two days to setup.
The building is on fire. Is it too late to ask you to install the smoke alarms today?

@HYost_Photo - Pricing goes a lot father than just for the photos. You're paying for my time, travel & editing. Good photography isn't cheap.
Speaking of editing (perhaps this should be in the grammar department), what does your father have to do with your photography?


Coffee Department
@lpatrao - Coffee with a huge dose of some rudeness from someone this morning. So unnecessary.
I guess your barista didn't have her cup of coffee that morning?

@sniperkc - " DO YOU NEED A CUP HOLDER " nah Ima walk all 5 of these drinks in the house with my hands
If you can balance all five on top of each other, I'd pay $10.00 to see that. Could you please?

@natshane - Popcorn, headphones, coffee and a good book. Then you realise, you have work tomorrow.
Gee thanks a lot! Here I was enjoying my rants article and you had to remind me I have work tomorrow.

@milda_cup - @FDNCoffee your WiFi is a joke! Came in to do some work and couldn't connect! Also music in clubs is quieter than here! Not OK!!!
If their WIFI is a joke, I wonder if I could use it to help me write better jokes. No, I agree, probably not. Nothing can help improve my lame jokes.

@Skegee_Man - The worse ones are the parents who have on the new shoes, fancy clothes, fancy car, but complain about $3. $50 worth of starbucks tho.
According to the film Back to the Future, Starbucks is supposed to cost $50 a cup. I can't imagine that. I still complain about $3 Starbucks. 


Parking Department
@Kendal_22 - I'm glad I paid $140.00 to park on campus and it takes me 30 minutes to find a spot
For my humorous comment on parking, click HERE for a short poem I wrote last year. You must read and see if you agree.

@iMello12 - Why do we have to pay parking at the hospital or no parking at the emergency? "Okie, I'm almost dying but first lemme pay my parking"
How am I supposed to make jokes if you already include one on your rant?

@alternajock33 - For the people that dont have the street numbers for their house posted for people to find you, you are a horrible person
You should see me looking for house numbers at night. I have to use a pair of binoculars. And yes, I have been reported to the police a number of times. 


Driving Department
@drdrehole - Yield does not mean come to a complete stop when you're in a merging lane that's a half mile long and the speed limit is 45.
It's either that, or people ignore the yield sign altogether. "What yield sign? I don't see no sign." Where's Bill Engvall when you need him?

@Brady_01 - Beet truck drivers can drive a man to the brink of insanity.
When I was married, my ex-wife drove me to drink all the time. Then when I was done, she came and picked me up.

@Al_Apun - Tho there's a lot of roundabouts here but people still fails to use common sense. They'd stop even tho d incoming car is miles away.
Were they looking for a yield sign?

@AmandaKingcup66 - when did it become a choice whether to stop for a red light??!
I must have missed the notification too. I guess peoples lives don't matter much to some people. And how much time are they really saving? 30 seconds? Where are they going they need an extra 30 seconds?


Restaurant Department
‏@hwiley10 - Rant for the night: DO NOT COME INTO A RESTAURANT IF YOURE NOT GOING TO TIP
And certainly don't order food if you are not going to tip. Honestly, don't you wish you knew in advance who is not going to tip?

@emmypickle18 - PSA: Please don't tip your waitress/waiter in change, you are not helping them out, and it never leaves their apron or change pouch!
My friend and I shared a hotel once for a convention we were at. Every morning he kept leaving a few dollars and some change for a tip. At night the bills would be gone but the change remained. I kept trying to explain to him why, but he never got it. Finally, on the last day, he left five dollars in quarters. After he left, I picked up the quarters and left a five dollar bill instead. (On top of the tip I was leaving, of course).

@fan_breakeven - ... because of course the point of takeaway is to order something 1-2 days after you actually want to eat it. What a joke
It wouldn't be such a bad thing if you were a traveller. Somehow, I'm guessing you are not.


Technology Department
@k8seren - As an IT person, I hate Adobe programs. I can't figure them out, the licensing is confusing, and they take 6 years to install.
Have you tried turning it off and on again?

@FrogMichaels - Pet hate: when ppl try to make their #twitter profile interesting with varied, random facts. 'Tofu, yoga & knitting'. Stop it!‏
So what's your stand on random rants?

@LauraSeeber - Anyone else get annoyed by pop ups that block the web content? If you want to lose me as a potential customer, this is how.
I have no pop-ups on my blog. Is that enough to retain you as a reader?

@Larooooon - Replacing the pistol emoji with a water gun was such a great decision. I'm sure that's really gonna cut down on gun violence.
Water guns can be dangerous. If they are filled with acid, and you are the Joker.

@browncoatgrimm - only recently started referring to emoji's as "emoji's". they were emoticons back in my day,
Back in my day, we didn't even have emoticons, we had to smile with our face. You kids today are so spoiled.

@sheilajoymags - #rant rant rant rant rant Rant Rant Rant Rant Rant Now that's how you rant on social media
So I've been doing it wrong all these years?