Sunday, March 22, 2015

Mad As A Hatter

R.a.n.t. of week 03/22/15
It's March, I'm mad. You know what that means don't you? That's right. It's time for the official Jeffrey Scott March Madness NCAA bracket selection. As you'll recall from last year, I'm not a basketball person. In fact, I probably know less about college basketball than I do about cosmic string theories. Which admittedly, is not much. From what I gather, they are theories, and quite possibly strings in space. Correct? No? Well, now you've got a good idea how well I know college basketball. So why do I do it? Why do I fill out a sweet 16 bracket? Why does anyone climb mountains? Because they can. And because it's fun. Or at least it's something better to do than poke a sharp stick in my eye. Which is something a person who's mad as a hatter might be prone to do. Gotta love mercury sickness. So where was I? Oh, that's right. March madness and my NCAA bracket. Below is how I predict the rest of the tournament will go. My method of selection can't be any worse than anyone else, can it?

Sweet 16
West Virginia vs. Kentucky - Winner, West Virginia because their logo kind of looks like the Wonder Woman symbol. And I'm a big comic book fan. (Like you couldn't figure that out already).
Wichita St. vs. Notre Dame - Winner, Notre Dame because their mascot looks like he's fighting mad. And being mad is sort of the theme this week. Isn't it?
North Caroline vs. Wisconsin - Winner, Wisconsin because there's $350,000 buried under the Big W. Or so I"m told in 'It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World. That's MAD times 4.
Xavier vs. Arizona - Winner, Xavier because last year I picked Arizona and they didn't win, I would be mad to pick them again.
N.C. State vs. Louisville - Winner, Louisville because the Cardinal is a mad (or angry) bird. (Get it)?
Michigan St. vs. Oklahoma - Winner, Michigan St. because the name Sooners is such a ridiculous name it makes me mad.
Utah vs. Duke - Winner, Duke because the mascot reminds me of a weird dream I once had.
UCLA vs. Gonzaga - Winner, Gonzaga. Mostly because it's fun to say and all my friends think I"m not a fan of dogs.

Elite 8
West Virginia vs. Notre Dame - Winner, West Virginia because if Wonder Woman were real she'd disapprove of the word 'dame'. Never call chicks, dames.
Wisconsin vs. Xavier - Winner, Wisconsin because I still haven't found that money and need them to stick around till I can find it under that Big W. Okay, it's a running gag, don't be mad.
Louisville vs Michigan St. - Winner, Michigan because when I think of Sparta, I think of madness. And this is madness, after all.
Duke vs. Gonzaga - Winner, Duke because I'm not a dog person. So yes, my friends are right.

Final 4
West Virginia vs. Wisconsin - Winner, Wisconsin because truthfully Wonder Woman isn't real and she really isn't playing for West Virginia. However Wisconsin is real and I believe so is the Big W.
Michigan vs. Duke - Winner, Michigan because I can't think of any more jokes for either. Einney Meinney, Meinney, Mo!

Championship Game
Wisconsin vs. Michigan - Winner, Michigan because I've always heard you are supposed to bet against your team. Because if you bet for them, they will certainly lose. And though I'm not putting any money on this game, I always root for the home team. Errrrr, but not this time, because they are going to lose. Know what I mean? They will definitely lose. Okay? Got it? Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, know what I mean?


  1. I'm not big on watching basketball, but I did love to play it when I was younger.

    1. I tried out for the basketball team when I was in High School. I was encouraged because I'm so tall. But then they made my take my glasses off, so I couldn't see and then a basketball hit me in the nose and I ran to the nurse, bloody, crying and thus ended my basketball career.