Madness in March

R.a.n.t. for week of 03/23/14

Lately, everyone seems to be talking basketball. Radio morning DJ's, friends, sports reporters, bartenders. That's everyone, right? However I have to make a confession, and if anyone out there knows me at all, will not be surprised by the following revelation. I'm not much into basketball. To be honest, all I know about our local team is they are called the Bucks and don't win very often. As for who plays on the team, not sure I could name a single player. And that's professional basketball. This March Madness is all about college basketball. With so many colleges, and so many people who apparently love basketball, I have no idea how they devise standings for 64 slots. The question continually being asked is, 'how are your brackets'? I've never taken the time to fill out a bracket. I have no idea how to rate teams of ball players from colleges in my own state, let alone from other states. But if you really want to see a bracket filled out by me, okay. But how I decide who wins will be completely different from how most other people will rate the teams. But at the end of the championship, will I have done any worse than anyone else?

Sweet 16
Florida vs UCLA - Winner, Florida because the alligator mascot looks cool.
Dayton vs Stanford - Winner, Stanford because the S reminds me of Superman.
Virginia vs Michigan St. - Winner, Virginia because I used to have a friend named Virginia.
Iowa St. vs Connecticut - Winner, Connecticut because huskies are cool.
Arizona vs SDSU - Loser, Sdsu. Mostly 'cause it sounds like a sneeze. What is a sdsu anyway?
Baylor vs Wisconsin - Loser, Baylor. Sounds like a bear needing aspirin.
Kentucky vs Louisville - Loser, Louisville. It sounds like a bat, and aren't Cardinals baseball?
Tennessee vs Michigan - Loser, Michigan. Pick 'M' to lose since it'll irritate one of my friends.

Elite 8
Florida vs Stanford - Alligator or Superman? Easy, Stanford wins.
Virginia vs Connecticut - Old friend or a dog? Always friend, Virginia wins.
Arizona vs Wisconsin - As much as I love Wisconsin, I love friends more, Arizona wins.
Kentucky vs Tennessee - Just had a shot of Jack Daniels, so Tennessee wins.

Final 4
Stanford vs Virginia - Virginia will win. She knows how to use Kryptonite.
Arizona vs Tennessee - Tennessee will win. They don't drink and Arizona will get hooched up.

Championship Game
The same tactic Virginia used last time (Kryptonite) won't work against Tennessee. But Virginia won't fall for the same trick Tennessee last used either (Jack Daniels). It'll come down to the wire, but I think Virginia will be victorious. At least they won the coin toss I just performed.