Spam & Scam - Click HERE For Viagra

R.a.n.t. of week 12/23/12

One of the things I hate more than not receiving any feedback is getting spam feedback. It's kind of sad when most of the comments I receive have to be deleted. What's worse is most of those spam message are also scam messages, i.e empty promises or ineffective products. Following are the last five comments I received on various blog posts:

1. Unbelievable, I just found this software that can promote your website. Click here for....
-- And this relates to the Isle of Man TT how?

2.Crucial Factors Of Philadelphia car accident lawyers - What You Need To Know Also see my page...
-- Yea, that really relates to my article on supermarket checkouts. Or is the point that in Philadelphia only accident lawyers use the speedy checkouts?

3. Hey there jeffreyascott.blogspot.com admin found your website via search engine but it was hard to find and I see you could have more traffic because there are not so many comments yet. To dramatically increase traffic to your site visit....
-- This was left on the Isle of Man Glen photos. I think I liked the Glen just fine without traffic.

4. Торговля двигатель рекламы !!!
-- To be honest, I'm not sure what to make of this. Google translate translates this to "Trade Engine Advertising!!!" This was left on one of my 'Auto Show' posts. Well, maybe this wasn't spam??? If I'm wrong, sorry about that comrade.

5. We procession inasmuch as all kinds of crazy qualitys that separate mistaken in a inconsistency of styles, colors and sizes at wholesale price....
-- This was left on my 'Cinema Talkers' rant. And isn't the irony of the broken English above criticising "crazy qualitys & inconsistancy" just as annoying as a movie talker? And then there is the unrelated topic of this spam directing me to a website where I can buy cheap wedding and prom dresses. I'm like ???

To be honest though, the last response reminds me of the email scams from Nigeria. Years ago I used to respond to them, just to mess with them and waste their time. I don't think they usually had any idea what I was talking about. Included below are a few key moments of one such correspondence. I, of course, used a fake name.

The Setup: In these emails, the scammer tries to obtain the bank information of unaware people. Usually they pose as Nigerian barristers, lawyers or businessmen, trying to move money to a "safe" place in America. They claim to need bank information to move the money into your account. When they acquire the needed information, they drain the account of money and disappear. My goal was to waste their time so they were not doing this to other, more gullible, people. I won't bore you with his first email as it's usually 5 pages long. Suffice it to say I responded favourably and willing to help, though I didn't send him any bank details.

From: Ali (Scammer)
To: Mark Krall (Me)
Dear Mark,
I have acknowledged the reciept of your mail.Please if you are not ready to send your banking information where the fund will be transafered, you should forget about helping me and I dont want any other person to be involve in this transaction.

From: Mark Krall (Me)
To: Ali (Scammer)
Oh my! You do not trust me? I just figured it would be easier to have my personal banker give you all the necessary information. I was trying to be efficient and fast and you are now saying I am not trustworthy?

From: Ali
To: Mark Krall
Please, if my last mail to you offended you, I appologies for that, you should forget and forgive, let us forge ahead, so that we can be able to achieve the gold ahead of us.

From: Mark Krall
To: Ali
I accept your apology. Account number will be sent to you this evening when I arrive home. All my bank information is at home. I was going to bring it in to work in case you wrote back but forgot to grab in my haste, I was running late earlier. I heard a loud crash outside my apartment building this morning and saw an overturned milk truck. There was milk everywhere and all the neighborhood cats were running over. I tell you, I never had such a hard time driving down my own city block. With luck, the milk and the cats will be gone when I get home.

From: Ali
To: Mark Krall
I HAVE RECEIVED YOUR MAIL, TAKE NOTE THAT I HAVE NOT RECEIVE YOUR ACCOUNT NUMBER , PLRASE YOU SHOULD ENDEAVOUR TO SEND IT TO ENABLE ME FORGE AHEAD. I recieved your mail.Thanks for your urgent response. You have to send the inforamtion asfollows:
Name Of the Bank/Address:
Bank's Tel and Fax:
Acoount No/Routline No:

From: Mark Krall
To: Ali
My best friend, Ali
How are you doing? I hope all is okay with you. Please tell me things are okay. I must get right to the point. Please Ali, we are best friends; you have never told me a lie. Are you being serious or is this just a joke for you? We need to take this serious if it is serious. If it is just a joke to you, then why do you write me? You seem a very busy man and important to be making jokes and just fooling around. If you are truly serious then contact Jenny at my bank. Her number is 867-5309. Please! This is very important!!!

From: Ali
To: Mark Krall
I AM NOT JOKING,YOU HAVE TO BE SERIOUS WITH ME AND YOU SHOUL NOT ALLOW THE DELAY FORM YOU SIDE TO BE A HENDRANCE TO OUR PAYMENT.

From: Mark Krall
To: Ali
I did not want to delay in this. Here is the information you needed.
Bank: Maggody Tri-N-Save / 100 Main, Maggody - Stump Cty C
Phone: Jenny - 867-5309
Account: 25OR624
Now we should be able to get our deal concluded. I can't wait. Do you mind if I go shopping right away? I could buy both of us a brand new car and when we meet we can have drag races. Just like in the movies.
Dragster buddy,
Mark

From: Ali
To: Mark Krall
Coming to your request, I will not give any answer to any of the question until the fund is approved for payment on your behalf, you know what to invest with your own money and I know what to invest with my money. Be informed that I am investing a lot of money here to ensure that our dream become true. All you need to do now is to make a good arrangement on where I will stay.

From: Mark Krall
To: Ali
I still want to buy us a pair of matching cars. If you'd like I can take out the remaining money and put a down payment on them. They will look nice and we can cruise and pick up chicks. They will like our new cars. You never got back to me and specified which color you preferred, puke purple or outrageous orange? Please, this is VERY important you get back to me on this since I can go to bank today to take the money out to put the down payment on the cars. You will really like them!!!! Don't worry about a place to live, you can live with me.

To: Mark Krall
From: Ali
You refused to mention the Name of your Country as the desination where the Fund will be routed, I don't want you to hinder our Payment since I have not see any seriousness in you, even your last mail proved that you are joker, Look at the way you address me on your last mail, talking meaningless things that does not make sense.

To: Ali
From: Mark Krall
I am looking forward to the completion of this transaction as well. In regards to you calling me joker, I can truthfully tell you I am not him. Sure, I may live in Gotham but that does not mean I'm the Joker. Those canisters of Smilex they found in my apartment were not mine, but for a friend who accidentally left them over. You must believe and trust that I am not the joker. Perhaps when we meet for real when you come to visit I can prove it with a handshake. Still, I'm a little upset you called me the Joker. So I will call you penguin from now on.
Love that joker,
Mark

[I never heard from him again]