Sit Ubu, Sit

R.a.n.t. of week 11/23/14

Ever get that feeling you have to stay. Staaaaaaay. STAY! Like a dog? Sometimes I feel that way. In my (most recent) case, I feel as thought I'm staying in the same place for the sake of my kids. First the back story:

When I was married, my wife liked to move continually. She could never stay in the same place. Doing a quick mental note, I count eight different places we lived at within thirteen years. So the last place we were living in at the time of the divorce, I've remained in. To some point, I always thought it would be good for the boys. Since the divorce, their mother has lived in three different places while I'm still in the same place. But like my reasoning for always giving in and moving when the wife wanted to move, it's the same reason I have not moved since the divorce. I've done so for other people. When I was married and she wanted to move, I relented and allowed her to look for another place. She always had a list of reasons why we needed to move. She had a few good points and I tried to keep peace in the family. Then, about a year before our divorce she wanted to move again but by this time I refused. It wasn't long after this the Sheriff showed up at my place of business on our 13th wedding anniversary to hand me her divorce petition. So now I am approaching my 9th un-anniversary and I have stayed. Mostly because I always wanted to give my children stability. Hoping they always had a place that would always feel like home.

Of course my children have now moved on themselves, pretty much living with their mother full time. So the decision now surfaces. Do I move or do I stay? That just brings up other questions. Do I need to move? Am I okay with where I am? Should I look for something better, smaller or different neighbourhood? Where would I go? So many good questions. I think for now, I'm going to stay where I am, sit still. I've got good neighbours, a fully stocked bar in the basement, and am comfortable with my surroundings. And to be honest, I'm really not looking forward to moving again. Eight times in thirteen years has taken a lot out of me. It's been nine years since all those moves and in my own twisted sense of humour, another four years in the same location will sort of negate all those moves that occurred while I was married. And maybe then, I will no longer sit where I am. I can move on.