Sunday, December 15, 2013

How To Get Free Gas

R.a.n.t. of week 12/15/13
Gas prices seem to be lower now than they have in months. But I recently found a sure way to get even cheaper gas. So cheap, in fact, they are practically giving it away. Just follow the 15 easy steps below.

As an additional bonus, my good friend Jenni Long has infused her own comments after I mistakenly showed her this weeks r.a.n.t. while preparing it for publishing. Of course, she doesn't know I have decided to include her smart alec responses. Well, she will NOW!

1.) Visit new gas station.
Jenni Long - It does NOT have to be a new gas station.

2.) Notice credit card reader not working.
JL - NOT a step one takes, it's simply an observation.

3.) Go inside and prepay $10.00 worth of gas. Maybe buy some Ding-Dongs.
JL - We ALL have to do this now, nothing outstanding. And yes, I have already identified the ding-dong.

4.) Go back outside to pump gas.
JL - YAWN, really a step?

5.) Be told you are at a pre-pay pump and need to come inside.
JL - It's NEVER a step when someone else does the action.

6.) Go back inside and show your receipt so they activate the pump.
JL - By my count, this is only the THIRD step.

7.) Have the clerk only release the pump so you can pump gas.
JL - Once again, someone else is.... SIGH, never mind.

8.) Leave gas unattended as you work on windows.
JL - Has nothing to do with the involvement of free gas. Maybe you could COMBINE "steps" eight & nine.

9.) Suddenly notice prepay pump has not stopped and has continued to fill up tank.
JL - Personally, I feel this is YOUR fault.

10.) Worried and upset because you only have $10.00 to spend on gas, reluctantly go inside to pay the difference.
JL - You won't believe I'm going to say this, but I commend you for THIS step.

11.) Explain to the clerk you are inside to pay for the gas that went over your pre-pay selection.
JL - Hopefully you explained you were being inattentive and this is all YOUR fault.

12.) Have clerk stand dumb-struck, scratching her head for a minute trying to figure out what happened.
JL - I give up. Yes, sure. This is a step YOU do.

13.) Have clerk call over manager who only half-understands the problem and quickly voids the transaction when he misunderstands.
JL - And of course you immediately corrected the manager. Right, RIGHT?

14.) Realizing he just voided a live transaction, simply tells you, "Have a good day. Don't worry about the gas overage."
JL - Hmmmmm.

15.) Later in the day, check online bank and despite what the receipt shows, notice they only charged you for the ding-dong purchased. Yep, make sure the Ding Dongs are paid for!
JL - Isn't this kind of DISHONEST? Just asking......?

No Jenni, I don't consider this dishonest. I did everything in my power to pay for the gas. That is everything short of getting on my hands and knees begging the manager to take my money.
But I appreciate your two pence worth.
* Please note, words in ALL CAPS were capitalized by me for emphasis.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Jenni Long is a writer and editor
of the Canadian children's magazine
'Fille Forte'. That being said, her
thoughts do not necessarily reflect
those of myself.


  1. And, now that you publicized your crime (you call it a ruse), you may find yourself at the wrong end of a police discussion if you try for sloppy seconds...

    1. The only crime here was the filling station wasting my time by being ineffective and unprepared. But if an officer does come a calling, I will not lie. It was all Jenni's fault!