Sunday, August 1, 2004

I Dropped the Ball Again.

R.a.n.t. of week 08/01/04
The past few weeks I’ve reverted back to my youth. No, not because I once again have more energy, vitality or a positive outlook on life. I'm talking about that awkward time of youth when you are constantly tripping over your own feet. Additionally, I can't seem to hold onto anything. The other day I reached over to pick up something from the floor, dropped it, tried to re-grab it, only to miss-grab it and watch it spin wildly back to the floor. I then felt like a goof and moron for a few minutes. But the feeling didn't go away, it's just intensified because for the rest of the day I continued to have the ‘dropsies’. Sure, it provided entertainment for everyone else, but feeling klutzy is never hilarious for the klutz. I'm sure sooner or later I could win a million dollars from one of those TV shows if someone were to follow me all day with a video camera. Could this be the reason everyone generally laughs at me and not with me?

Laugh all you want, and while you can. I’ve found a way to cure this condition 100%. I'm willing to share it with everyone if you agree to stop laughing at me, and start laughing with me. All one needs to do is l;daasdjf;adsal;sd……………… Dang it! I just spilled coffee on my keyboard. I need to clean this up. I’ll get back to you.
Reprinted 11/02/12

*PLEASE NOTE - I recently found old R.a.n.t. articles posted to a website I once owned. I've decided to reprint them in my current run. However, ironically enough, I'm not to fond of the writing so I've decided to edit the articles and repost them. For comparisons sake, I've decided to run the edited version as well as the original. In a way, it's kind of fun to see how my writing has changed in eight years.

Original R.a.n.t.
 For some odd reason, the past few weeks I’ve gone back to a state of clumsiness. There is no feeling in the world quite like it. You reach over to pick something up, drop it, try to regrab it, and it just misses your touch spinning out of control as it hits the floor. You feel like a total goof and moron for a few minutes afterwards though. However, that feeling can only be intensified when you have the ‘dropsies’ all day long. Sure, you provide entertainment for everyone else around you, but the simple fact is, feeling klutzy is not funny for the klutz. As I mentioned I seem to have picked this up lately, and I always go through the routine of trying to catch something once I drop it. If others watched me with a video camera in slow motion they’d probably laugh their head off, (perhaps I would too). But I’ve found a way that cures this condition and take it away, 100 percent curable. See all you have to do is……………… Dang it! I just spilled coffee on my keyboard. I’ll get back to you.


  1. Now, was this before or after you downed that bottle of wine? Or, are you approaching my age, when balance is as easy to maintain as it was when we first began to walk this earth?

  2. I'm more a Scotch man, than a wine man. Even still, this still takes places before any Scotch in imbibed. As for age, let's just say I'm in my 40's.