Failed Children Book Titles

10.) How to Buy Friends and Influence People With Money

9.) Chicken Poop For the Soul

8.) How to Eat Fried Germs

7.) James & the Giant Speech

6.) The Lion, The Witch & Walk-In Closet

5.) The Kraft Velvetan Rabbit

4.) Santiago Chicken Little

3.) Kidney Stone Soup

2.) Horton Takes a Poo

1.) The Little Engine That Thought he Could But Failed Miserably

More Haiku's

Lately, I've been into writing haiku's. I think I'm still trying to get the hang of it. For those not familiar, a haiku is comprised of three lines with five syllables in the first line, seven in the second and five in the third.

Here are three recent examples.

I am free falling
No parachute to stop me
Why won't it open.

Lost all of my strength
The day you cut me inside
And left me to die

I am so at peace
Now the struggle is over
Face down in water

Haiku's

The Sound of Music
An auditory blessing
Or Julie Andrews.

I gave you my life
And so you became my wife
You replied with strife.

I lost all my weight.
What is my taboo secret?
I used a tapeworm.

When I left this world
You were last thing on my mind
Please don't forget me.

Would you be so kind
At least say you are sorry
When you shoot me dead

I lost all my weight
What is my taboo secret?
Fingers down my throat

How To Make Impressive Cookies

Sugar Shack

April is Poetry Month

Where was this announcement last month when I was posting all my poetry? Does this now make me not a poet? Should I have known this in advance? Oh well, I've always considered myself an author first, then a poet. And even then I don't usually refer to myself as a poet.

Highland Park Pies & Cafe no longer!

Have I found a new place to enjoy coffee? Not at all, just a name change it seems. So I decided to update my entry.

Birdie's Cafe
Looking for a great place for coffee in the morning? Birdie's Cafe is a beautiful place I discovered a couple years back. It has a bed & breakfast type atmosphere and you are welcomed as you walk in the door. Sarah and crew really make you feel at home. I've found it to be a great way to start the day with a little coffee, breakfast pizza, or whatever freshly baked goody may interest you. Located about 41st and Highland; stop in and tell them Jeff sent you. They may may or may not know who you are talking about, but feel free to do so anyway. ;)