Did I Stutter?

R.a.n.t. for week of 03/30/14

In my younger days, I used to talk on the phone all the time. Depending on the friend, I could be talking for an hour or more. But recently I've begun to dread talking on the phone. For some reason, the older I get, the harder it is to talk on the phone. Typically it only flairs up when I first pick up. So there are times when a person calls me and all they hear is silence on my end as I try to begin speaking. If I don't hesitate, I start stuttering my words. The problem with hesitating is it can take more than five seconds. I literally lock up and can't say a word. It doesn't happen all the time, and some times I can say 'hello' fairly quickly. Or if I'm 'locked' and then the other person begins to speak, suddenly I unfreeze and can talk freely. Or I'll be fine answering, then suddenly start stuttering during the conversation. So I have a hard time using the telephone and get so frustrated I want to smash the phone. Even with my closest friends I dread calling and would rather opt to send a text message. Then there are the times I don't hesitate and just start talking, thinking I'll be okay. Then suddenly I'm saying, "H.h.h. hell, hello." This has given quite a number of people a good chuckle and when it happens at work I usually get the response, "Forget where you are?" They are joking around of course because they don't know better, and I get irritated. Don't believe me? Feel free to call and find out any time you want. Though I may just let the answering machine get it. Mostly because the answering machine won't st.st.stutter when it picks up.