The Missing Link

The Missing Link

From all the days past,
and all the days old.
I have a story about 'Sled',
that hasn't been told.

It begins way back,
in the ancient days.
When men kept dirty animals
just for slaves.

They made them eat mud,
they made them eat coal,
but the men weren't too smart,
it made them grow.

The animal 'Sled',
was locked in a prison.
Had fur on his back,
the colour of crimson.

Two big hands,
two dirty feet,
toxic waste grease
and bright yellow teeth.

With fungus on his nose,
he'd blow on his foes.
When 'Sled' would fight,
his eyes would glow.

In his prison cell,
he thought of an escape.
Killed a prison guard
with some masking tape.

He then went wild
in the streets of the city.
Chewing on a bone
that was old and gritty.

He met these three people,
really nice chaps.
Told him they'd take him
to a groovy little flat.

'Sled' yes, "Yes"!,
and then came the flash.
Found himself in
a room full of trash.

"I like it". Sled says
with big, wide, grin.
He found a brass cymbal
and an old bottle of gin.

"We're going now 'Sled'",
say the three little men.
"The Missing Link Experiment,
is what this has been."

"Hold on there,
you can't run.
I'm very hungry
and I like my mice well done.

"You're gonna stay here
and hunt for mice.
You'll probably get lost,
aint that nice?"

The scientists run.
'Sled' closing from behind.
The cymbal in his hand,
greased to a shine!

The End ???

(Originally written circa 1987)
Co-Written by Pat D.




The Missing Link - II

The story of 'Sled'
is not over by far.
I forgot to mention
the part about his car.

With cymbal in hand
and pedal to foot,
he races to bars
with a head full of soot.

The scary ex-Lincoln
was once in fine state.
Being totally smashed now
there is no debate.

As 'Sled' pulls up to his house
takes the cymbal from dash,
three boys witness
him smoking his stash.

Says, "Come here", to the boys
with a wicked ol' grin.
His thoughts are not pleasant,
he dreams a big sin.

This brings us to date
with those three scientists.
'Sled' chasing them down
with his cymbal and fists.

This is where the plot thickens
as you may now know,
the scientists are the boys
of ages ago.

Getting killed by 'Sled'
is not what they meant.
This was just to prove
the Missing Link experiment.

As I stated before,
it's time to proceed.
With 'Sled' closing in
he trips on a weed.

Without a thought
they run into his room,
but now fully recovered
'Sled' seals up their tomb.

So their story is finished,
over and done.
'Sled' killed them off
without using a gun.

The moral of the story
is quite evident I think,
never mess with,
'the Missing Link'.

(Originally written circa 1988)
J.A.Scott




The Missing Link - III

You've read 'Missing Link I'
and 'Missing Link II',
but what about 'Missing Link III'
which describes you know who.

In case you're in doubt
as to whom I may mean,
let me give you a hint,
she will make you scream.

You still do not know.
Is that what you say?
Dummy, it's as easy as pie.
I'm referring to Kay Jay.

She is difficult to track,
as I earlier learnt.
With an ugly ol' face
which must have been burnt.

Donned in pea-green
for a reason unknown.
Perhaps she escaped
from a nuclear zone?

She once met Sled
which was a terrible mistake.
They threw each other around
and started an earthquake.

The Earth was just saved
in the middle of the fight,
when Kay Jay knocked Sled
onto a passing satellite.

Then Kay Jay was captured,
which was the tricky part.
The authorities had to use
a tranquillizer dart.

She awoke with a growl
in the nearest state pen.
But found a way out
and started all over again.

She's still on the loose.
Looking for Sled I think.
So beware of Kay Jay
She's another 'Missing Link'.

(Originally written circa 1989)
J.A.Scott




The Missing Link - IV

Yes, of dear old days
long forgotten,
comes the story
of breath so rotten.

The Missing Link story
is not quite done.
Here's another way
to have some fun.

We now must talk
of his buckle lovin' friend,
the 'Olive Green Boy'
he will surely offend.

I once met him and
couldn't help but to grin.
He then knocked me down
with his big ol' chin.

Olive Green's chin
defies the laws of physics.
How do you suppose
he gets all of his kicks?

His chin opens up
for all sorts of equipment.
From a drill to a fork
who cares if it's bent?

Inside his long chin
is a most scary sight,
grab your sunglasses
if it gets too bright.

He's more powerful than
fortified men in a tower.
Oh my gosh!
What great power!

An additional assault;
yes, there is one thing more.
A dangerous weapon,
which isn't his snore.

A multi-use tie
when he's on the loose.
A pop-tent, hang-glider,
even a noose.

He's the Olive Green boy,
a victim of Sled.
Don't think you can save him,
he's already dead.

One final thought
don't make fun of his lies,
'cause you'll likely be smothered
in all of his ties.

(Originally written circa 1990)
Co-Written by Tony V.




The Missing Link - V

You thought it was over,
under the sink.
The funny story,
'The Missing Link'

But not so fast
is the flame to the pen,
some uncontrollable thought
to do it again.

It starts in the back
of the old musty house.
The little old man
holding the mouse.

He started by saying
two weird lines.
Of how he would catch
the mice who were blind.

How he would hide
from the beast called Sled.
Observing the darkness
of the dirty pigs pen.

Of how the cymbal
was just out of reach,
as he watched Geraldo
giving a great long speech.

Listening to the story
about the great vortex.
And relating the smallness
of Sled's cortex.

It finally ended
with his billy-goat beard,
falling into the darkness
he and his two friends feared.

(Originally written 1991)
J.A.Scott




The Missing Link - VI

Yet one more story
is going to be told,
of 'the Missing Link'
this is when they were old.

The Olive, Kay Jay,
and Sled altogether.
Yes terrible news,
and even bad weather.

Kay Jay hides her friends
in her nuclear zone,
giving the 'Olive' time
to finish his bone.

Sled stocks up
on his brass cymbals,
Kay Jay practices
her growling signals.

At quarter to two
they take over the world,
Olive starts them off
with his tie, that is hurled.

Sled flings his cymbals,
Kay Jay growls to offend.
This does not look good,
could this be the end?

But wait! What's that?
A magical chant?
It's Geraldo Rivera,
he'll rave and he'll rant!

He's turned the tide of this war
with his choice words.
Resurrecting three scientists,
and an army of nerds!

They dodge the cymbals and ties,
and avoid Olive's chin,
even Kay Jay's growls
are no match for them.

The three scientists hold up
a very dead mouse.
They next toss it into
Sled's awful house.

The doors were then bolted,
and all windows covered.
Geraldo's so glad
the scientists were discovered.

Now the nerds are all gone
and the street is quite bare.
But could the trio escape
form their bolted up lair?

(Originally written 1992)
J.A.Scott




The Missing Link - VII

The three young boys
were not real old.
When their fathers warned them,
to beware of the mold.

The machines had been broken
and dismantled with care.
The scientists were careful
everything was left bare.

But three young boys
are not really smart.
They disobeyed their fathers
and reassemble they did start.

The madness began
with a terrible shock.
When the last obstacle dissolved
and so did the lock.

'The Missing Link experiment
was started anew.
The first wasn't so bad,
it was Gary Gnu.

Before their fathers
had learned what they did.
They released over a dozen
and a very strange kid.

The scientists came home
to the shock of the horror,
the mess the boys made
would make them even poorer.

They battled so bravely
but the three young boys cried.
In repulsing he threat,
the scientists died.

Their fathers were right
the three boys now say.
But this tales not quite done,
'cause one got away.

(Originally written 1993)
J.A.Scott




TML

Every once in a while
people swear and they cuss,
though others around
may not know what's the fuss.

The problem you see
is when life is a bore.
People stirring up problems
that've happened before.

The hero that's starring
in this return to the pen,
is a writer of stories
who hides in his den.

One day he was tortured,
a bully smeared him with honey.
But what she didn't know
he just came into money.

The bully he dealt with
once said they should marry,
then pushed him around.
How he dreaded that Carrie.

With the dough he came into
he bought a theme park.
But it wasn't your typical,
this one was dark.

Deep underground
was his hidden base lair.
Had a wall full of monitors
at which he would stare.

On staff at all times
he hired three men.
Scientist chaps,
Larry, Dobie and Ben.

As happened before
they were always at work
Till something bad happened,
'cause one was a jerk.

One day in the theme park
Carrie was eating a scone,
so Ben kidnapped her
and created a clone.

He tried to be secret
but he wasn't too safe,
the clone went missing
when her bindings did chaff.

He realized what happened
when rides started to sink
His Carrie clone project
was another 'Missing Link'.

Our writer friend hero
had no time to act.
But he pooled his resources,
and THAT is a fact!

His two other friends
would help in this cause.
They created a land-shark
and called his name jaws.

The battle commenced
but the clone had to boast,
before it was over
she destroyed the East Coast.

Tragedy was realized,
Dobie perished of course.
On top of all that,
Larry's voice was now hoarse.

Carrie was released
but that wasn't his fault.
So the government forced
all his projects to halt.

The Felony sentence
punished him several ways.
A stiff fine for one,
and no writing for days.

The theme park was closed
officers burnt all the files.
But the stories not done,
Carrie stole all the vials.

(Originally written 2012)
J.A.Scott