Sunday, June 15, 2008

Mental Illness

R.a.n.t. of week 06/15/08
It's probable I may continue a part of this rant in a letter to Tegan. Mostly because things have been weighing on my mind and I really need to get it all out. This weekend was much like some of the weekends I had before I was married and hanging out with buddies Chris, Travis and Ernie. Back then, my depression would hit me hard at times and it was very hard to fight. It's like being trapped inside your own body without being able to control it. You don't want to speak, laugh, or be engaged in conversation. Watching others have fun while being trapped like that certainly doesn't help either. I'm so upset because I've fought this off for so long, and now it came back. I'm hoping it's not something that will continue to make an appearance. I will continue to monitor it and perhaps watch my associations and hang with those who may be aware/concerned about my condition. Okay, perhaps it's difficult to understand and doesn't make much sense. But if it made sense it wouldn't be an illness would it?

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